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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24059020">Voco Familiarem</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/zation/pseuds/zation'>zation</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(to a lesser extent), 3.5 edition, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Awkwardness, Blow Jobs, Bottom Cas, Canon-Typical Violence, Cas gets high lol, Cas is way too old to care, Cas playing nurse, Cat Castiel (Supernatural), Cuddling, Dean Winchester's First Time With a Man, Dean getting physically hurt, Dean struggles a bit, Dean totes handles his surprise feelings for Cas maturely, Dungeons &amp; Dragons References, F/M, Falling In Love, Familiar Castiel, Familiar Jess, First Time, Frottage, Grumpy Castiel (Supernatural), Hand Jobs, Hunter Dean Winchester, Hunter Sam Winchester, Hunting, I can feel it y'all, I guess? I mean not really but still, I'll link you lovelies up, I'm a bit mean to Lisa but I actually kinda like her, Insecure Dean Winchester, Internalized Homophobia, Jealousy, Kissing, M/M, Magic, Masturbation, Monsters, Mutual Pining, Not, POV Dean, POV switch, Pansexual Castiel (Supernatural), Pining, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Purring, Recreational Drug Use, Slow Burn, Straight Dean, Supportive Sam, Tags Are Fun, Top Dean, Wizard Dean Winchester, Wizard Sam Winchester, and Jess too, and here comes this smokin' hot dude, because he's a magical being lmao, because monsters don't like being hunted duh, benny is a little shit, but he's got a human form too lol, but not that serious, but still fun!, but they cray-cray, but this is gonna take some time to figure out you guys, catnip, excuse Dean for getting confused, for Dean, he just thinks he's into the ladies okke?, hi I'm zation and I'm a geek, let's have fun y'all!, like your fucking life depends on it, not as much as some of my other fics, pov Cas, reluctant business partners to lovers, sexual awakening, shameless D&amp;D lore nerd indulgence, super inspired by D&amp;D but no previous knowledge is needed, switch - Freeform, tags may change tho haha!, the boy is THIRSTY, then all the sex, to some degree, topping from the bottom Cas, which isn't as exciting as enemies to lovers, yeah Dean's gonna bottom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:27:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>54,068</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24059020</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/zation/pseuds/zation</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Wizard Dean casts the spell <em>Summon Familiar</em> and totally expects a hot woman like Sammy got with his owl Jess but gets Castiel the Cat instead. Neither is amused, until they both are.</p><p>Or,</p><p>The one where a master falls in love with his kitty, and vice versa.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester, Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, Past Castiel/Crowley, brief Dean/Lisa Braeden, past Castiel/Others - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>330</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>652</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>The Destiel Fan Survey Favs Collection</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The summoning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>All spells, magic items, and monsters are based on/inspired by/<strike>stolen</strike>borrowed from Dungeons&amp;Dragons 3.5 (though it’s tweaked some to fit with the story, experienced players will notice the differences, let’s have fun with this! 😆)<br/>Links in the fic are to a webpage where you can read more about the spells and things mentioned, if you wish to immerse yourself even more. It’s totally optional, of course 😄</p><p>Many thanks to my wonderful Beta BeeCas for coming up with this idea about 1,000 years ago and much love to the same for beta’ing and making my life so rich! I love you, honey 💖💖💖</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Third time’s the charm</em> has always been a saying that Dean’s never particularly liked. If something doesn’t work, it doesn’t, right? At least with magic, he thinks. Either the spell will work and everything’s fine and dandy or it doesn’t and it either backfires or the goddamn monster laughs in your face before it chomps down on you. Either way you end up in a hospital bed with a grumpy little brother complaining that he’s running dangerously low on <em><a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/cureLightWounds.htm">Cure</a> </em>scrolls. Well fucking forgive Dean, it wasn’t like he <em>meant</em> to become <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/bulette.htm">Bulette</a> chow.</p><p>Anyway, the point is that Dean hates do-overs and yet here he is, attempting this <em><a href="https://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Find_Familiar_(2.5e_Spell)">goddamn spell</a> </em>for the third fucking time. At this point it’s more about the prestige than nothing else. Sam had managed to summon his <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/classes/sorcererWizard.htm#familiars">familiar</a> on his first try and Dean is usually better at the execution of spells so what gives?</p><p>He grits his teeth as he adds the expensive incense to the mixture of herbs and charcoal already burning in the brass brazier. The fact that he, with his still fairly limited magical powers, only can attempt this goddamn spell once a year is weighing on him too, aside from the monetary expenses.</p><p>When he and Sam expanded their family’s little magic item shop into the Winchester Emporium, they both agreed that they would need help but that they also didn’t trust that many people to help them. A familiar instead seemed like the next logical step, they had after all grown in their magical prowess to a level where they would be able to acquire one with great powers of its own. And a familiar <em>is</em> the perfect companion to a Wizard like Sam and Dean. Loyal and intelligent, familiars work both as a conduit to the Wizard’s magical powers and as a dependable ally and even friend. And in some cases, like Sam and his familiar Jessica, lovers.</p><p>Dean is not jealous of that because he loves his brother and wants what’s best for him at every turn but goddamnit, it would be nice if he could get someone like Jess too. She’s a beautiful barn owl in her animal form and a stunning woman in her human form. Smart as a whip and very helpful, curious about humans but also sensitive about the fact that magic isn’t the norm and that they need to keep a lid on their affairs. Since familiars are very in tune with magic she can easily spot when a customer comes in to look at their front shop, dealing in antiques, or if they’re there for what’s behind the curtain in the back. Simply put, she’s the perfect business partner.</p><p>Yeah, she’s all-round awesome and Dean had thought he would end up with someone similar. Someone he could bring with him when he goes out into the world, hunting monsters and gathering magical artefacts to sell in their store. But no one had come at his summons and he’d had to wait a whole year to try again and no one had showed then either. Sam says it’s normal but Dean is starting to think there’s something wrong with him.</p><p>Not every Wizard has a familiar after all and with Sorcerers going around summoning familiars at their goddamn convenience maybe they’re running out? Dean doesn’t think that’s how it works but who the fuck knows? Jess would, he supposes, but he’s not gonna go cry on her shoulder. No, he’s gonna try this <em>one last time</em> and if it doesn’t work he’s gonna go out and get shiftfaced and then get over it, like a man.</p><p>In the last second he decides to add some catnip along with the customary fat and he watches as the flames flare up to a satisfying two foot before dying down and it’s time for him to start his incantation.</p><p>The words are easy enough, the trick is that you have to stick to them for as long as it takes for a familiar to answer your summon or the fat burns out. The longer you have to repeat the same words the harder it gets not to stumble on them. As the fat burn steadily to a little foul-smelling lump the words stop sounding like words but Dean persistently shuts out the sound of his own voice and keeps at it. He’s always been good at this, the execution of spells. Sam is the real wiz with the reading and learning and memorizing. Dean has his spell list and he mostly keeps to it, and very rarely pokes around with scrolls because it’s difficult to read scrolls outside your magic school.</p><p>As Dean starts in on the tenth round of the incantation and the fat burns low in the brazier, something flickers in the spell circle he’s drawn on the floor around the brazier. Hope sparks in his chest and he raises his voice, adds a commanding tone to the steady chanting. The symbols in the circle flare up a bright blue, so bright it’s almost white, and fuck yeah, that’s <em>supposed</em> to happen.</p><p>The light evens out as he finishes the incantation and suddenly the ingredients in the brazier poof out in a cloud of smoke. Dean coughs once, almost more because it feels appropriate, and waves away the smoke as it comes drifting towards him. As soon as the smoke clears and the light goes out, leaving the basement room he’s in illuminated only by the candles he lit prior to the summoning, Dean steps forward and his heart lodges in his throat at the sight of an adult cat.</p><p>The cat is entirely black, from the tips of its ears to the tip of the tail it’s got tucked around its black paws. It’s got long whiskers and a very sleek-looking fur. It looks lean and fit and when it turns its head up to look at Dean, Dean’s met with a pair of the bluest eyes he’s ever seen. They’re illuminated by the poor candle light but Dean can see the magic behind those eyes, making them shine even more.</p><p>Hell fucking <em>yeah</em>, he scored a cat! Cats are awesome familiars. Every magic user with a familiar gains some abilities depending on their familiar, like Sam has better night vision because of Jess being an owl, and cats top that by far. Night vision, superior hearing, easier to move stealthily, all of this will be helpful for Dean when they’re out hunting monsters.</p><p>To say that Dean is stoked would be an understatement, which is perhaps also why he immediately put his foot in his mouth.</p><p>“A puss all for me?” he mumbles in what almost constitutes as a purr as he steps up to the cat. Well fucking excuse him for being excited. Cats are good familiars and how hot won’t the human form be? Dean can already see her now, with thick black hair and the smoothness of a feline. “Hello there sexy mama,” he almost snickers at himself but the cat just levels him with an incredibly unimpressed glare and in the next moment it has transformed into its human form and that is no woman, that is no woman <em>at all</em>.</p><p>“I assure you,” the very manly man says in an incredibly deep and decidedly <em>manly</em> voice. “That I am, nor will I ever be, anyone’s mama.”</p><p>Fuck Dean’s life.</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>“And this is the living room.”</p><p>Castiel, as the familiar had introduced himself, looks around with a coolly polite aura. Dean, for his part, can’t tear his eyes away from the guy’s ass. Not because it’s perfectly taunt and looks totally spankable because Dean generally doesn’t notice those things in men. No he’s just staring because of the fact that he <em>can</em>, because Castiel is fucking buck naked.</p><p>“It looks lived in,” Castiel comments when Dean offers nothing more in terms of explaining the living room.</p><p>“I’m sorry but I just…” Dean pinches the bridge of his nose, trying his best to ward off the headache that’s knocking on his temples. Castiel’s eyes reflect light unnaturally when he turns back to Dean. “Why the fuck are you naked?”</p><p>Castiel looks down at himself as if he hadn’t noticed and knowing familiars he probably hadn’t. They don’t exactly possess the same kind of modesty that humans do and being part animal is the explanation for that, Dean supposes.</p><p>“Because I didn’t have any clothes on when I transformed into my cat form,” Castiel explains as if Dean is stupid. “If I had, then it would have been assimilated into my form and I would appear as dressed the next time I took this form again,” Castiel tilts his head to the side, a motion which actually reminds Dean more of a bird than a cat. “I’m sorry, did you not know this? Am I your first familiar?”</p><p>The questions irritates Dean because 1: yes, and 2: shut up.</p><p>“Dude I was just asking because I don’t wanna look at your floppy bits,” he gestures immaturely at Castiel’s package, which, fuck him, is bigger than Dean’s.</p><p>“Well excuse me,” Castiel says much too calmly for Dean’s liking. “I didn’t know you were so sensitive, aren’t we both males?”</p><p>“We sure as fuck are,” Dean exclaims in a fake happy voice and Castiel scowls at him.</p><p>“I may not have met humans in a long while but I still recognize sarcasm.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Dean sighs and drags his hand down his face. “It’s not your fault, I was just expecting a hot woman as my familiar.”</p><p>“Yes, well, I believed I was retired and enjoying it so don’t color yourself the only one disappointed,” Castiel snarks and walks off, leaving Dean standing in his living room feeling both puzzled and like an ass. But hell, <em>retirement</em>? Dean didn’t even know familiars could get retired, how the fuck old is Castiel anyway?</p><p>“This room is messy,” he hears coming from upstairs and he jolts when he realizes Castiel has gone exploring without him. He takes the flight of stairs two at a time and catches sight of Castiel letting himself into Dean’s room. “This must be yours.”</p><p>“Why the fuck would you say that?” Dean demands as he stops in the doorway, blocking escape as if Castiel seemed likely to try.</p><p>“Intuition,” Castiel mutters and looks around without even trying to hide it, openly looking at Dean’s private things. “It’s very important for cats, we rely heavily on it when it comes to survival.”</p><p>“I bet,” Dean mumbles grumpily. “So how does this work anyhow? You’re my familiar now until what?”</p><p>Castiel regards Dean cautiously. “Until I die or you break the contract, either by dying or on purpose.”</p><p>“I ain’t breaking it,” the words are out of Dean’s mouth before he can think about it. Is he mad that he didn’t get a hot lady? Yes. Will he let that ruin this? No. Not when he’s <em>finally</em> managed to get the summoning right. Castiel might be somewhat of a snarky ass and he’s got too little boob to make Dean happy but he’s still a familiar and Dean can already feel his magic weaving itself with Castiel’s, growing stronger and sharper.</p><p>Castiel shrugs as if he doesn’t care either way. “Then I guess I’ll have to die for it to break.”</p><p>Dean shakes his head because it sounds ridiculous to even think about. Familiars don’t die, not on Dean’s watch, because <em>no one</em> does. Period. Also, familiars don’t actually die, they just get banished back to their dimension but he’s sure Castiel already knows that.</p><p>“You’re working for me now and I need you, no suicides.”</p><p>“I couldn’t even if I wanted to.”</p><p>This whole conversation is making Dean feel iffy. “Anyway, I’m getting you some clothes and then we’re talking about what I expect of you. Any questions before we begin?”</p><p>Castiel turns to pick up Dean’s phone from the nightstand. “Just one, which century is this?”</p><p>Oh Dean doesn’t like this question one bit… “21<sup>st</sup>, why? How long ago was it since you were here in this dimension?”</p><p>Castiel shrugs again, putting down the phone with care. “I’d say about 400 years, give or take.”</p><p>Fucking great, Dean thinks sourly. Not only did he <em>not</em> get his sexy female, he got a grouchy retired <em>old</em> dude. At this rate Dean’s gonna be lucky if Castiel can even assist with a simple cantrip. Just fucking <em>great</em>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Castiel is getting the distinct feeling that Dean is disappointed in him. Well, since Castiel is very unimpressed with this whole development he can’t very well fault his new master for not being thrilled about this arrangement either. Still, it would be nice if Dean would stop eyeing him as if he’s either going to drop dead or bolt at any moment. He’s got a little more dignity than that.</p><p>Dean gave him a pair of what he called sweat pants that were a bit too big on Castiel’s slightly smaller frame. He likes them, though, they’re soft and snuggly. What he doesn’t like is the underwear Dean had forced on him too. Dean’s face had been red and Castiel is left wondering if that was an actual blush, on a grown man.</p><p>Dean spent a lot of time staring at Castiel’s hips where they poked out whenever the sweat pants slid down and Castiel is vain enough to admit that he liked the attention. He remembers his first master and how she used to caress him and he likes those memories. Then Dean had thrown an oversized shirt at him and mumbled something about food and now here they are, in what Dean calls his kitchen, sharing “leftovers”.</p><p>Castiel isn’t so sure about that device Dean called a “microwave” but the tuna casserole tastes wonderful. If anything the food has definitely improved over the centuries.</p><p>“From what you’re telling me, your brother’s familiar seems to be enough to operate your shop,” he says between bites. Dean shifts on his chair and Castiel feels the human’s magic trail across the air, searching for him. Yes, Dean might be uncertain about this but his innate magic ability knows what’s best for it and the enhancing capacity Castiel has is a good start.</p><p>“Jess is great,” Dean concedes easily as he shifts around his casserole on his plate. “And truth be told, there isn’t all that many magic buyers. We also front as an antique shop.”</p><p>“So you want me to move around some furniture with you?”</p><p>Dean splutters in an unattractive way and even so Castiel can’t find it in himself to look away. Dean has freckles that stand out when he blushes.</p><p>“<em>No</em>,” Dean exclaims harshly enough for Castiel to forget the freckles. “We also manufacture and repair magic items.”</p><p>“Oh,” Castiel thinks about that for a moment which Dean spends eyeing him warily for some reason. “I could be helpful with that.”</p><p>“Good. And I go out and hunt down monsters, I need backup because Sam usually has to stay here and man the shop.”</p><p>“You hunt them for treasure?”</p><p>Dean shrugs. “Sometimes. Sometimes I just kill ‘em because they’re eating the locals and I don’t like that. There’s not much profit to it but money’s not everything.”</p><p>“You…” Castiel leans back a bit in his chair, regarding the man whom he had previously discarded as a bum with some magical luck. “You sacrifice your safety for people who don’t even know who you are—what you are—and who won’t pay you?”</p><p>“When you say it like that I sound like an idiot,” Dean sneers and Castiel thinks over his words to try and understand why Dean would jump to that conclusion. When he comes up empty he just shakes his head and goes back to eating.</p><p>“I can be of help with killing monsters too.”</p><p>“I sure as fuck hope so.”</p><p>The conversation kind of tapers off at that and even Castiel, rusty as his people skills might be, can sense the awkwardness. They finish their meals quietly and Dean gets up to gather the dishes. A quick <em><a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/prestidigitation.htm">Prestidigitation</a> </em>takes care of cleaning them and though it’s a low level spell Castiel once again feels a need to reassess Dean’s magical abilities.</p><p>Dean startles when he turns around only to find Castiel staring openly at him. “Going to the shop next,” Dean mumbles, almost sounding shy, and Castiel tilts his head to the side, regarding the human and all his quirks. “You need to see it and meet Sam and Jess.”</p><p>Castiel nods because that seems prudent. “Does Sam live here too? I noticed the second bedroom.”</p><p>“He used to but I was thinking you could take that room now,” Dean leads Castiel out to the hall where he shrugs on a jacket and picks up some keys from a chest of drawers by the front door. “When we got a bigger shop it came with an apartment above it so Sam moved in there, both to keep an eye on the shop and to get some privacy, you know? Seemed smart, considering he and Jess, uh…” he trails off, eyeing Castiel oddly.</p><p>Castiel represses the urge to roll his eyes. “He and Jess are intimate?” he asks because he knows that’s common, though he doesn’t know why Dean keeps blushing about it. “Like you were hoping to be with your familiar, I assume?”</p><p>“Shut up,” Dean mutters and opens the front door, offering nothing more on the subject so Castiel supposes he was right.</p><p>Outside Castiel is practically bombarded with impressions and smells and he can’t help but revert back to his cat form. It’s mostly involuntarily and simply because he handles his magic best in that form and he needs his magic to understand this world as quickly as possible.</p><p>He stays seated on the front steps of Dean’s little house, concealed by the railing around the porch and he’s momentarily dazed as his innate magic abilities try to sort through all the new information that’s forced on him. Some things, like the microwave, he still doesn’t understand, but most things get sorted easily enough. He sways as if caught in a breeze and when a finger pokes him on his head he jerks as if he had been asleep and just woke up.</p><p>“What’s going on, kitty?”</p><p>“Don’t call me kitty.”</p><p>Dean grins. “Oh so we <em>can</em> communicate, I wasn’t sure I was powerful enough for that.”</p><p>Castiel squints up at Dean’s boyishly proud face. “If you weren’t powerful enough you wouldn’t have gotten <em>me</em>.”</p><p>“Uh, okay,” Castiel doesn’t know why Dean sounds and looks surprised, it’s the truth after all. Maybe he would have managed a lower tier familiar but certainly not someone as seasoned as Castiel. “Anyway, what’s up with the cat form?”</p><p>“I need to stay like this for a while,” Castiel says as if that answers Dean’s question. He ignores the eye roll and stretches languidly. “Are we going?”</p><p>“I can’t talk to you like this,” Dean states and Castiel tilts his head to the side. “I told you, magic is hush-hush in this century, no one non-magical can know you’re a familiar. And since no one else is able to hear you speak I’m gonna look stupid if I keep talking to a cat.”</p><p>Castiel flicks his tail in annoyance. “So don’t talk, we still have the Empathic Link to share emotions and impressions.”</p><p>“That’s not the same, though, is it?”</p><p>Dean is really grating on Castiel’s nerves right now. “Look,” he thumps his tails harshly against the porch and sees that Dean notices. Good. “I haven’t been out of my dimension for a very long time, there’s a <em>lot</em> for me to take in right now and that’s easier when I use my magic, which I access easier when I’m in this form. You will just have to deal with it. Now, let’s use <em><a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/teleport.htm">Teleport</a> </em>to get to your shop before your neighbors start wondering what you’re doing.”</p><p>Dean looks like he’s got a snarky reply to that but instead he snaps his mouth shut and goes up to close and lock the door.</p><p>“I ain’t wasting a <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicOverview/arcaneSpells.htm#wizardSpellSlots">spell slot</a> to teleport us there, we’re driving.”</p><p>Frugal, Castiel thinks with respect, and trots after Dean to what reminds him of a horse coach minus the horses. A car, Dean explains and though Castiel understands what it does he’s wholly unprepared for the feeling of the fast vehicle tearing through the streets.</p><p>He stands on his hind legs the whole ride, front paws and nose pressed against the window looking out the side as the world goes by in a blur. He doesn’t even care that Dean laughs at him, that was <em>fun</em>.</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>“And these Winchesters, they’re good people?”</p><p>Jess clicks her beak. “They are, you’re going to get used to their crude manners.”</p><p>Castiel wonders about that but doesn’t say anything, it would be rude considering Jess’ close relations with the younger Winchester. Instead he turns to look out over the shop. He’s perched on the high shelf where Jess apparently usually sits, pretending to be a stuffed owl as she surveys the customers. The shop is bigger than Castiel expected, crammed full of old furniture and knickknacks, most of which seem irrelevant to him. It’s clean and airy, though, and he likes that.</p><p>Dean is currently in the back, speaking to his brother, and Castiel itches to see their workshop. With previous masters he spent a lot of time making magic items, living in cozy huts or towers. He supposes Dean’s house is technically nicer but it doesn’t feel like home, not yet. This century brings a lot of new things and he thinks he’s a bit slow to acclimate.</p><p>“Dean mentioned going out and hunting for treasure.”</p><p>Jess ruffles her feathers. “It’s not like in the old times, no questing and no rewards. Not even honor.”</p><p>Castiel looks back at her, takes in her golden eyes made to look wider by her plumage. There’s no malice or condensation in her voice or eyes, though he senses a reluctance concerning this topic.</p><p>“You wish they’d stop.”</p><p>She sits motionless for a moment. “I wish they would learn Divine spells, they get hurt too easily.”</p><p>Ah, concern, Castiel can certainly relate to that. His last master had been an elderly man who had treated Castiel like his son and when his master had died, he’d felt sadder for him than any of his previous masters. Humans are altogether too fragile for Castiel’s liking.</p><p>“They are both Arcane users only?”</p><p>Jess bobs her hear. “They have learned how to use scrolls, though. They get by.”</p><p>Scrolls. Castiel flicks his tail as he thinks about that. Scrolls are a great complement to any magic user’s arsenal but they’re cumbersome to use and who has the time to pick out a scroll and read it when you’re chased by a fire-spitting dragon? Castiel can see he’s got his work cut out for him if he wants to keep Dean alive, which he supposes he does.</p><p>“Hey kitty, you comin’?”</p><p>Castiel scowls down at Dean as the human emerges from behind a shelf, looking up at the two of them with a grumpy expression of his own. On the other hand, he thinks as he slinks down the shelf, if Dean would die on one of his hunts, Castiel would be automatically released from his contract.</p><p>“Be nice,” he hears Jess call, as if she can hear his thoughts.</p><p>He scrunches up his nose and launches himself off the shelf only to bounce off Dean’s chest and land perfectly on his feet a few paces ahead of Dean. Dean looks stunned and Castiel scoffs at the human’s poor reflexes, he better outperform that on their future hunts or Castiel might find himself without a master faster than expected.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sam of course <em>loves</em> everything about Castiel and somehow it makes Dean even more irritated that the two get along so very well. He wants to yell at his brother that he already has a familiar and that he should keep his mitts off Dean’s but what would be the point of that?</p><p>Dean’s just annoyed in general that he got a guy, that’s all there is to it. That Castiel is also proving to be a grumpy know-it-all is just icing on the fucking cake. Well at least he’s gonna be helpful with the creation of magic items and on hunts, Dean thinks grouchily as he watches Sam explain his latest project, a pair of slippers that would allow the wearer to scale walls almost like a spider. He got the idea from Spiderman and Dean’s complaining of that time when he got stuck in a hole and had to wait the night for his magic to recharge so he could get out. Since then, Dean always carries a few extra scrolls of <em><a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/spiderClimb.htm">Spider Climb</a> </em>and doesn’t have that problem anymore but Sam wanted to take a shot at the slippers anyway and Dean’s not one to stop him since Sam’s little projects usually sell well.</p><p>Sam is hunched over his workbench and the slippers he has spent countless hours methodically stitching with magical thread. This is why Dean’s the one out killing monsters, he doesn’t have the patience for stitching. Castiel is sitting by Sam’s left shoulder, almost leaning on him as Sam explains his method and Dean feels a pang of jealousy.</p><p>He might not be happy about getting a male familiar but Castiel is still <em>his</em> familiar, right? Aren’t familiars supposed to be extremely compatible with their masters? Especially chosen <em>based on</em> their master? Well, with that logic Dean’s apparently the most compatible with a guy and he ain’t buying it. He loves the ladies and they love him, period. Castiel is just some kind of deviance. Or maybe magic compatibility isn’t as closely linked to physical compatibility as Dean previously thought? Granted, he hasn’t known that many familiars but shouldn’t they at least get along? Like, personality-wise?</p><p>Dean squints in annoyance when Castiel’s tail flips restlessly as Sam speaks. He’s got one ear trained on Sam but the other swivels as he catches sounds from outside the shop too and when Dean shifts his stance Castiel actually looks up and stares straight at Dean for a moment. It catches Dean off guard, just like that little pounce from earlier had, and he just kind of stares back until Castiel releases him. Damn that kitty has bright eyes.</p><p>“But there is something wrong with the composition,” Sam finishes his own evaluation, leaning back with a huff. “They stick to the wall fine but not for long and they can’t carry any significant weight.”</p><p>Castiel puts his left front paw inside one of the slippers and it almost looks like he’s trying it on. Dean snorts to hide a laugh but Castiel just ignores him and flips the slipper over, quietly assessing them.</p><p>Sam turns his head to the doorway leading out to the shop. “Jess says we have customers.”</p><p>Well, not <em>says</em> as in telepathic speak, Dean assumes. Masters and familiars can speak normally or they can share an Empathic Link but Dean supposes Sam and Jess have learnt to interpret each other’s feelings by now.</p><p>“So go.”</p><p>Sam glares at him. “I’m working with Castiel, you go.”</p><p>Dean resists pouting but only very barely. “We’ll be fine.”</p><p>Castiel looks up between the brothers but doesn’t say anything and it makes Dean feel even more like a third wheel. Stupid cat probably wants Sam to stay too. The feeling of jealousy returns and it rubs him the wrong way that he’s even feeling it after only knowing Castiel for half a day. He stares into Castiel’s blue eyes and almost misses how Sam huffs in annoyance before leaving.</p><p>“Sam is probably better with the customers anyway,” Castiel says after a moment spent in silence and though Dean suspects the familiar is trying to placate him it only makes him feel worse.</p><p>“Whatever.”</p><p>Castiel flips the slipper over again and pushes it towards Dean. “There’s a flaw in the stitches.”</p><p>That catches Dean’s attention and he sits down on Sam’s chair. “Where?”</p><p>“This sigil,” Castiel puts his paw on one of the incredibly small runes Sam has painstakingly stitched with the magical thread. “It’s upside-down.”</p><p>Dean stares at the rune for a moment, trying to decipher the magic, to follow the flow of the weave. It takes him a moment to understand because it looks correct to him. He has to start from the beginning and Castiel just lies down on the table, tucking his front paws under him and wrapping his tail around his body as he curls into a ball.</p><p>“Well I’ll be damned,” Dean mutters when he sees it.</p><p>“I should hope not.”</p><p>Dean huffs out a chuckle at Castiel’s matter-of-fact tone. “So what do we do about that? Aside from turning it the right side.”</p><p>“Nothing,” Castiel says, still in his flat tone. “The whole line has to be redrawn,” he looks at the slipper and it looks like he scrunches up his face. Dean finds himself wondering what that looks like in Castiel’s human form. “Or re-stitched.”</p><p>Dean can’t help but smile. Castiel might not be a hot ass woman willing to indulge in Dean’s dirty fantasies but he’s still one heck of a familiar and since his main reason for summoning a familiar was as an assistant this is maybe not so bad. After all, if all he wanted was a sex slave he would have summoned a <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/demon.htm#succubus">Succubus</a> and bound her to him. No, Castiel is by far the better option, Dean thinks.</p><p>“Not bad for a kitty who hasn’t been topside in like four centuries,” he grins and Castiel levels him with the kind of glare only cats can manage.</p><p>“This isn’t my first pair of <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicItems/wondrousItems.htm#slippersofSpiderClimbing">S</a><a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicItems/wondrousItems.htm#slippersofSpiderClimbing">lippers of Spider Climb</a>,” he states as if it’s obvious and proceeds with jumping off the table and trotting out into the shop, leaving Dean to sit back feeling like a fool for thinking Sam was original with this idea.</p><p>Clever or not, Dean could do without the attitude, though. He sighs and inspects the slippers and all the stitching that needs to be redone. He contemplates doing it for Sam because damn, this is <em>a lot</em> and Sam was probably hoping to be done with them, but he decides against it, knowing Sam thinks Dean’s handiwork is sloppy. It’s enough that Castiel twitches his nose at him, he doesn’t need Sam huffing and puffing as well.</p><p>“At least I got me my familiar,” he says to no one in particular and is startled when he feels surprised happiness flood through the Empathic Link his magic has established with Castiel. He turns on the chair and manages to catch sight of the tip of Castiel’s tail as he slips away from the doorway. “I’m gonna call you Cas,” he calls after the cat and though he gets nothing in response he still interprets that as consent.</p><p>Smiling to himself he picks up the slipper and starts the tedious work of unraveling the stitches.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Phase Spider</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>You guys! I just realized that I've passed 2,000,000 words posted on AO3!<br/>Lol what a silly thing to be proud (and bragging!) about and yet here I am 😆</p><p>Thank you for all your gentle encouragements, it couldn't have happened without you!<br/>Please enjoy a chapter with a daring hunt and a dash of FEeLiNGs as a thank you gift 💖</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>It’s not like Dean can say that living with Cas turns out to be surprisingly easy. On the other hand, he can’t really say it’s been difficult either, it’s just… <em>highly</em> different from what he’s been used to.</p><p>Ever since mom and dad got killed by a nest of <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/manticore.htm">Manticores</a> back when Dean was just shy of nineteen it’s only been him and Sammy. They inherited their parent’s shop and expanded on it, lived in the back of the old shop that was more of a hole in the wall until they could afford a house. So in essence Dean’s never been living alone, not until Sam moved out a few years back to live above their new shop.</p><p>And at first that had been scary, being on his own. Well, not scary as in <em>scary</em>, Dean isn’t one to be afraid of the dark, despite knowing what can lurk in it. But he got lonely a lot and it had dawned pretty fast on him just how much help Sam had been in keeping the house.</p><p>Dean is a resourceful guy, though, and as it turns out, there are an abundance of spells that can help with housekeeping if you just put your mind to it and study them. So yeah, Dean has been managing pretty well on his own, thank you very much.</p><p>And now he’s not alone anymore.</p><p>Now Cas sleeps in Sam’s old room. He wakes up late in the morning, grumpy as shit, looking equally tousled whether in his human or cat form and Dean frets over them being late and pretends he doesn’t enjoy how cat-like Cas’ yawns are even when he’s human.</p><p>Cas eats whatever Dean cooks him so he’s easy that way but, on the downside, he uses way too much hot water and complains loudly when Dean doesn’t just conjure up more. He also has no sense of modesty and not only does he walk around naked unless Dean shrieks at him not to, he also very suddenly starts licking himself, anywhere and anytime. And Dean doesn’t mind when it’s licking his paws or cleaning his face but when Cas just up and tied himself into a knot to lick his own ass <em>in the Impala</em>, Dean had to shriek some more.</p><p>Cas just seems greatly unimpressed with Dean most of the time and though he’s helpful in the shop Dean kind of feels like the third wheel most of the time, even when it’s just the two of them. He wants to get to know Cas because hey, a familiar is a magical creature from another dimension and how the fuck cool isn’t that? But he and Cas don’t really <em>talk</em> and it’s making Dean both sullen and determined. He <em>will </em>make Cas like him because he’s not dismissing his familiar anytime soon, not when it took him so long to succeed with the spell in the first place.</p><p>Anyway, while things haven’t exactly been strained they haven’t been the coolest either so when Sam comes to Dean with a possible hunt he’s quick to jump on the opportunity for a change of scenery. And hey, it’s not like he would say no to a hunt like this anyway. One kid in a remote mountain town went missing and turned up as nothing more than a carcass and now another kid has gone missing.</p><p>“It could be bears,” Sam says as Dean reads the newspaper article.</p><p>His tone suggests that he doesn’t think so and Dean thinks he’s right. The carcass seen in the photos Sam’s snagged off the local police records show clear signs of something more fang like and Dean thinks the body look weirdly drained. Or what remained of the body…</p><p>“We’ll check it out.”</p><p>“I’m not sure you should go alone on this one,” Sam thumbs the photos he printed for Dean to take with him in a folder with the rest of the information. “It could be dangerous, the body… it looks like poison damage.”</p><p>Dean hums and starts gathering his papers. “So get me some of that <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/equipment/goodsAndServices.htm#antitoxin">antitoxin </a>of yours, it’ll be fine. Besides,” he grins almost boyishly. “I’m not alone, I have Cas now.”</p><p>Sam smiles at him that way he does when he thinks Dean is being cute, which is a bit weird since Dean is older than Sam and closing on 30. But he likes that smile so he doesn’t say anything. Maybe he’s a bit hung up on his familiar, so sue him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Hours of talking to local police, witnesses, and the victims’ families lead Dean and Cas to trek through the nearby hills and woods. Dean is sweaty but in high spirits, the second kid — Viola — has only been missing for about two days and the first didn’t turn up dead until after about a week. The odds are in their favor, he thinks.</p><p>“Depending on what we are dealing with we might not have any odds to speak of.”</p><p>Dean glares down at the black cat walking a few paces ahead of him. “Do you have to be so ominous?”</p><p>Cas stops to flail about with one of his front paws when a piece of undergrowth snags him. “I’m being rational.”</p><p>Dean rolls his eyes and stoops down to scoop up Cas. As a cat he’s pretty small and easy to handle and Dean will never admit this to the man but he kind of likes it when Cas lets him carry him.</p><p>“The foliage is only gonna get thicker, you should be in your human form,” except that Dean didn’t bring any extra boots and the sneakers Cas has been tottering around in so far would probably not be any good out here anyway. “There could be snakes.”</p><p>Cas puffs in that way that makes his whiskers ruffle. “You know I have to be in this form if I’m to be of any help.”</p><p>Dean presses his lips together because yeah, he knows that Cas has the most potent magical abilities in his animal form but that doesn’t mean he likes putting his familiar in danger. He doesn’t say anything about that, though, and just lets Cas climb over his shoulder to settle in the hood of his rain poncho, resting on the top of Dean’s backpack. It tugs on the collar and he mutters something about getting strangled that Cas promptly ignores. He rummages around for a moment and Dean has to suppress a shiver when Cas’ tail brushes the back of his neck. Because he’s ticklish and Cas is fluffy. Not gonna tell him that, though, Dean’s never seen anyone with such a wide range of unimpressed glares as Cas.</p><p>“Now I kinda feel like Althalus,” he jokes to take his mind off Cas’ tail.</p><p>“Who’s that?”</p><p>Cas’ voice sounds muffled as if he’s buried his head like Dean’s seen him doing when he’s sleeping. He wonders if Cas is cold but thinks he probably would have said so if that was the case. Cas is pretty straight-forward in that way.</p><p>“A character from a book. <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Redemption_of_Althalus"><em>The Redemption of Althalus</em></a>, he’s got a cat in his hood too. Only she’s actually a beautiful goddess.”</p><p>“So sorry to disappoint again,” Cas answers dryly and Dean feels a twinge because yes, he’s still a bit bummed about not getting a woman but Cas has so far proven to be a very seasoned familiar so he’s still grateful for him answering Dean’s call, even though he clearly didn’t want to…</p><p>“I didn’t mean it like that,” Dean mutters and hefts his backpack higher on his back, jostling Cas just for the heck of it. He feels annoyance through their Empathic Link but only smirks about it now. He likes to tease Cas. “We have this cool bond, they didn’t have that. Speaking of which, how long is the range on our bond anyway? I can hear and see much better with you around and I think I’m also better at moving more silently but that can’t be forever and always, right?”</p><p>“About a mile, I should think,” Cas answers calmly and that’s one thing that Dean likes about Cas; he doesn’t make Dean feel stupid for not knowing about familiars and the bond. At least not after he really understood that he was Dean’s first. “In this form. In human form I’d say about half that, if even at all.”</p><p>Dean nods and keeps walking steadily to the spot where the carcass of the little ten-year-old boy was found. He finds the spot and it’s of course as cleaned out as the local police said it would be but he pokes around nonetheless, more apt at finding certain tracks than any non-magical person could be.</p><p>He’s just found the tracks and is deciding whether to follow them now or wait until the next day. Most of this day was driving and interviewing people and it’s getting late already. He stands indecisive for a moment until he feels one of Cas’ paws on his cheek. Turning his head, he comes face to face with Cas’ blue eyes.</p><p>“It’s big.”</p><p>It’s all he says but it’s enough to set Dean into motion. Because he’s right, whatever monster this is — because it’s definitely not a normal animal — it’s really big and it’s going to have to feed again soon. So he starts following the tracks, hoping to find the monster or its lair before Viola gets turned into dinner.</p><p>It’s tough work, though, because even though the monster appears big it also knows how to not leave tracks. And sometimes the tracks just disappears only to emerge again several feet away. Either it’s jumping or flying. Or…</p><p>Dean stops and turns to look up at the looming trees above them. He’s immensely glad for Cas right now because it’s getting darker as the evening wears on but thanks to their bond Dean’s eyes are enhanced and he’s still able to see almost as if it was bright outside.</p><p>He’s just spotted something that seems to be hanging from a tree branch a good fifteen feet up when Cas goes all tense and jumps out of Dean’s hood with a “Duck!” so deep and demanding that Dean drops down to the forest floor before he’s even aware of what’s going on.</p><p>It happens in a blur, one moment he’s standing up and in the next he’s lying under a massive form, just narrowly avoiding getting his head chopped off. Body almost eight feet long, fangs the size of Dean’s forearms, the white and blue spider rises above Dean’s prone form, large as a horse. Larger. Eight eerily blue eyes stare down at him and Dean sees his death in that gaze. He rolls to the side to escape long legs like prison cell bars. And in the next second the spider is gone again.</p><p>Dean’s on his feet, gun in hand, frantically scanning the forest. “Was that—?”</p><p>“<a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/phaseSpider.htm">Phase Spider</a>,” Cas confirms in a tense tone. Alert.</p><p>Dean doesn’t swear out loud because he needs his ears to listen to the sounds around him but he curses worse than a sailor in his head. He’s never met a Phase Spider before but he knows a little something about them. They’re magical beasts that walk between the <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/planes.htm#theMaterialPlane">Material Plane</a> and the <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/planes.htm#theEtherealPlane">Ethereal Plane</a> as easily as Dean walks through an open door. And Dean, being one-dimensional, can’t see into other planes. But Cas… Cas is multidimensional, otherwise he wouldn’t be able to come here at Dean’s summon.</p><p>“Can you see it?”</p><p>“I can,” Cas answers, still as tense, and Dean sees the cat’s eyes trained on a spot a few feet ahead of them. “And it knows I can.”</p><p>Dean grits his teeth. Typical his luck to run into something like this, an <em>intelligent</em> monster of all things.</p><p>“What do I do? Blast the area around us in hopes of hitting it?”</p><p>“I think most damage you can do will only anger it,” Cas starts circling so Dean follows him, keeping Cas at his right.</p><p>He can see Cas’ little cat ears swiveling to catch sounds but since Dean knows sounds at the Ethereal Plane can’t be heard on the Material Plane he can only imagine Cas is searching for sounds of something else approaching. Dean tries frantically to remember the likelihood of Phase Spiders living in clusters but comes up short. This one looked big, though, so it’s probably an adult and that should mean it’s alone, right?</p><p>“<a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicOverview/spellDescriptions.htm#descriptor">Force damage</a>?” Dean asks, suddenly remembering something he’s read about the Ethereal Plane and beasts from it.</p><p>“That could work. What are you packing?”</p><p>Dean tries not to focus on how Cas’ ears suddenly point sharply ahead of him because that makes him think the spider is on the move. Instead he focuses on his inner eye, seeing his prepared spells before him like the pages in his spell book.</p><p>“<a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/magicMissile.htm"><em>Magic Missile</em></a>,” he almost winces. Cas’ tail is swishing from side to side.</p><p>“The weakest of them all,” Cas comments in a low voice and Dean wants to yell at him because how the hell was he supposed to know he would be tackling something otherworldly? “<a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/feats.htm#maximizeSpell">Maximize</a> it.”</p><p>“I don’t—”</p><p>Dean doesn’t have time to finish his sentence when Cas suddenly springs to his right, yelling “Left!” in that strangely commanding tone that apparently makes Dean act without thinking. And somehow, he knows immediately that Cas means the attack is coming in on Dean’s left side and not that Dean should move left.</p><p>In a motion so fluid it <em>has</em> to be magically enhanced, Dean both dodges the spider’s attack and also blasts it right in the face with five magical energy darts. The spider screeches in an unsettlingly human way and dodges out of close combat, but not far enough for Dean’s liking.</p><p>“<a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/mageArmor.htm"><em>Mage armor</em></a>!” Cas yells but Dean ignores him this time and instead takes the opening to shoot the spider with his gun. He hits its bulbous bottom and the spider’s fangs clack ominously before it vanishes again, back into the Ethereal Plane. “Dean!” Cas yells and Dean swirls around, more because he doesn’t want to remain still for too long than him having an actual direction. “<em>Mage armor</em>!”</p><p>“Right,” Dean mumbles but doesn’t have time to get up his magical protection before the spider appears again. Fucking shit, he should have conjured the armor before he even went into the woods, he’s behaving so amateurishly that he almost deserves the spider eating him.</p><p>Except there’s no blow and he manages to dodge away again, but only because Cas has thrown himself between Dean and the spider. He swipes at the spider’s soft underbelly before darting out again and it almost seems like his claws have more effect than Dean’s gun. Right, force damage, Cas’ claws are probably enhanced beyond a normal cat’s.</p><p>The spider goes to stomp on Cas and Dean forgets about his lacking armor. The fight is truly on after that. Cas and Dean work as a team, Cas being Dean’s eyes and warning him seconds before the attack, and Dean depleting too many of his spell slots before the spider finally goes down. But down it goes.</p><p>It screeches in that horrifying way again and twitches some but in the end it curls up and stays still. Dean collapses to his knees, grinning to himself.</p><p>“Fuck you, spidey.”</p><p>“Dean,” suddenly there are hands on him and Dean jolts before he realizes that it’s Cas, in his human form, and he looks torn between pissed off and concerned. “Let me see the bites.”</p><p>“Bites?” Dean touches his left side and blinks when his hand comes off warm and sticky with blood. “Oh.”</p><p>“Don’t ‘oh’ me,” Cas grits and starts pulling off Dean’s backpack non too gently. “I <em>told </em>you to use <em>Mage Armor</em>, why didn’t you listen?”</p><p>“It could’ve gotten me anyway,” Dean says sagely and watches as Cas digs out the <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/cureCriticalWounds.htm"><em>Cure Critical Wounds</em> </a>scroll Sam packed for him. “That’s way too much, I’m not that injured. Take a <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/cureModerateWounds.htm"><em>Moderate</em></a> one.”</p><p>“I was looking for something along the lines of <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/delayPoison.htm"><em>Delay Poison</em></a>,” he snaps as he pulls out the scroll Dean requested.</p><p>Dean snorts. “I don’t have anything like that. Besides, I drank the antitoxin. I’m telling you, I feel fine.”</p><p>Cas sinks down to sit on his haunches, looking at Dean like he doesn’t believe him and that it’s upsetting him. Dean smiles and reaches out to grab the scroll from Cas’ hands, performing the spell on himself without any troubles.</p><p>“I suppose you would’ve known by now if the poison had taken affect,” Cas mutters after a while and Dean lets him help him to his feet even though he’s completely healed now. “Let’s see if we can find the spider’s hideout, it’s possible it’s been keeping Viola sedated with the intention of eating her later. Or maybe it’s been feeding slowly, keeping the meat fresh. In either case it’s possible that she’s still alive.”</p><p>Dean feels sick when he thinks about a little kid encountering something like this. “Do you think there’s more of them around?”</p><p>Cas shakes his head before turning back into a cat. “Not likely considering how big this one was,” he doesn’t walk off but rather just arches his back a little and Dean understands what he’s asking without asking the second before it gets weird. He scoops up Cas again and hauls him back to his hood after he’s put on his backpack.</p><p>“Are you okay? It didn’t hit you?”</p><p>“No, I suppose it saw you as the bigger target. Literally.”</p><p>Dean smiles when he feels Cas attempt at humor through the Empathic Link. He doesn’t say anything because it feels as if words would destroy the moment but he does push a gust of gratitude towards his familiar and feels Cas’ answering warmth curl around him, which is surprisingly pleasant.</p><p>“What do we do with the body? Can’t very well let normal humans find this.”</p><p>“Burn it.”</p><p>That seems simple enough and Dean uses one of his remaining few spell slots to set the monstrous spider ablaze, leaving the carcass to burn out on its own. He figures some wild animals will find it when it’s burnt to the ground, it’ll make a nice meal for them.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They find Viola in a nearby cave, strung up in a cocoon of spider webs, she’s barely breathing and Dean’s almost out of magic so he resorts to good old human ways of reviving her, although he uses that <em>Cure Critical Wounds</em> scroll on her. She barely wakes up and Dean decides that it’s time for a human hospital, they might be able to help better with the poison anyway.</p><p>She comes to about half-way through the now dark forest and though Dean senses her tense in fear she neither screams nor flails to get out of his arms.</p><p>Instead she just asks in a timid little voice, “Are you the one that hurt me?” and Dean’s heart breaks a bit.</p><p>He tells her gently that the bad man that attacked her from behind as she was playing in the forest is gone now. That Dean is with the police and will take her to her mommy and daddy. She believes him and he’s just glad that she apparently never saw the spider. Cas informs him later that she might be compartmentalizing but Dean doesn’t see anything wrong with that. It’s bad enough that she’ll probably have bad dreams about being abducted by strange men, it would be even worse if she would get PTSD every time she saw a common house spider.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>They return to Lawrence, Kansas, and the Winchester Emporium the next day and Castiel feels grateful. He might not have been with Dean very long but he’s already come to think of the shop and Dean’s house as home, at least more than the shabby motel Dean made him sleep in when they couldn’t drive home the same night.</p><p>Castiel did <em>not</em> like that motel. If going on hunts to save people and/or look for treasure will mean more motels Castiel will either have to learn how to drive so they can share the road or he will have to force Dean to include <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/teleport.htm"><em>Teleport</em></a> in his daily repertoire.</p><p>They’re home now, though, and Castiel slinks up the shelves to settle beside Jess with a grateful sigh.</p><p>“Tough hunt?” she asks and Castiel knows she’s smiling even though he’s pretty sure owls technically can’t smile.</p><p>“Phase Spider,” he grunts and she clicks her beak with an impressed sound.</p><p>“And the kid?”</p><p>“We saved her, though I think the spider’s poison might have made her paralyzed. I guess the human doctors have their work cut out for them.”</p><p>Jess stays quiet for a while and Castiel cleans his claws. Sunlight filters in through a high window and dust swirls in lazy loops in the light. The air in the shop stands mostly still but it’s never stale or stuffy. Castiel likes the tranquility.</p><p>“Does Dean know?”</p><p>“About the girl’s condition? I think he suspects.”</p><p>Jess fluffs up her feathers and manages to look sad. Castiel tilts his head to the side, questioning without speaking. She sighs.</p><p>“Dean is very emotional.”</p><p>She doesn’t elaborate but she doesn’t have to. Castiel has the Link to Dean, after all, and though he was at first surprised at the range of emotions the man is capable of, he is also pleased because of it. Dean is very interesting to study.</p><p>“I should encourage studies of the Divine if he hopes to not only kill the monsters but also heal people,” he’s trying to sound rational but just as he speaks up he sees Dean near the door leading to the back and the man looks less happy than when they first entered the shop and it makes him uneasy.</p><p>Yesterday night and the whole drive today Dean seemed happy and carefree, glad that they had managed to kill the spider and save Viola. And Castiel hadn’t felt a thing wrong through their Empathic Link. In fact, he had been so content with his master that he had slept most of the ride back to Lawrence. He feels guilty now because he can see that Dean is not as fine as he thought he was and when he concentrates on the Empathic Link he can feel tendrils of the sadness and self-blame that Dean is trying to keep locked up. And it hurts, in a way, that Dean kept up a façade around Castiel, only to unload to Sam. Castiel is Dean’s familiar and should be his confidant.</p><p>“Dean likes the bottle,” Jess says suddenly and Castiel turns to study her forced neutral expression. “Sometimes.”</p><p>He doesn’t say anything but he’s starting to understand why Dean kept his brother’s room even when Sam moved out. Sometimes loneliness is a more powerful curse than an actual one.</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>They spend their dinner with Sam and Jess and Castiel keeps a close eye on Dean but he doesn’t see his master drinking anything other than Root Beer, even after they get home. Maybe Dean isn’t as much of a heavy drinker as Jess seems to think or maybe he’s cutting down since Castiel is here. In either case Castiel is still worried because Dean keeps their Emphatic Link closed.</p><p>They spend the evening watching some silly program on the TV about doctors who have more sex than they save lives. Castiel doesn’t mind the subpar plot all that much, though, still too impressed with the whole concept of television to care about content. Dean usually likes this show though, and especially the male lead, but tonight he is quiet and doesn’t even blush like he usually does when said male character has steamy sex with a nurse.</p><p>“I’m gonna turn in,” Dean suddenly announces during one of the many commercial breaks. “You wanna keep watchin’?”</p><p>Castiel doesn’t know what to do and it’s unsettling for him. Since the episode isn’t even over he nods but doesn’t have anything to say. There’s a disquieting atmosphere now and he wonders if it’s because of him — if Dean is mad that he hadn’t noticed that Dean was upset before Jess pointed it out — or if Dean is simply upset about not being able to help the little girl. And since he doesn’t see what would be upsetting in the first place — she lived, that should be the point — he ends up not saying anything and just watches silently as Dean walks upstairs and shuts himself in his room.</p><p>Castiel turns to look at the TV but his mind is on his master. Dean is very strange, Castiel had understood as much on their first day together. Well, maybe he’s not so strange in this century… Castiel can concede that that might be what’s odd here, namely him. But none of his other masters had ever been as quick to change their emotions and he has <em>never</em> had anyone completely shut down the Empathic Link.</p><p>He wonders if Dean is still upset that Castiel is in fact not a woman but he doesn’t see what that has anything to do with anything. Could it be inhibiting his ability to trust Castiel? Maybe Dean wanted a relationship like Sam and Jess have? Well, to be honest Castiel doesn’t see what his gender would have to do with that, maybe he should just tell Dean that men are capable of having sex and romance too? Maybe he doesn’t know?</p><p>Castiel shakes his head and gets up to walk over to the remote, thinking himself stupid for focusing on something like that. He’s sure sex and relationships have nothing to do with why Dean is sullen now. He’s most probably upset because he had neither learnt <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/restorationLesser.htm"><em>Lesser Restoration</em></a> nor had he packed such a scroll. Again, Castiel thinks he should talk to his master about the Divine.</p><p>He switches to human to be able to better work the remote to shut off the TV and then he goes up to knock on Dean’s door. He pauses for a moment outside it, hand poised to knock. He can practically <em>feel</em> the self-loathing coming from the other side and his resolve softens. Perhaps the magic discussions can wait.</p><p>He knocks but doesn’t wait for Dean to answer. Instead he simply opens the door and switches back to cat form to trot up to Dean’s bed.</p><p>“Cas?”</p><p>The room is dark but Castiel can see perfectly anyway. Dean is a lump on the bed, there is a bottle of whisky on the nightstand, and when Castiel jumps up on the bed he smells it clearly. Both from the bottle and Dean. So he waited until he was <em>alone</em> to drink, so Jess was right.</p><p>He doesn’t say anything because he doesn’t really know what to say. He feels troubled by how much unease he feels towards Dean drinking like this. They haven’t known each other long but Dean is his master now so even though Castiel isn’t all that used to physically comforting someone he thinks he should at least be there for Dean.</p><p>So while he doesn’t say anything, and certainly doesn’t go up to curl against Dean’s broad chest or something silly like that, he <em>does</em> make sure to walk all over Dean’s legs to get to the other side of the bed. Dean grunts but doesn’t shift away.</p><p>“Something wrong with your bed?” he mutters but Castiel ignores him, instead balling himself up at the foot of the bed on the left side, as far away as he can come from Dean. Dean snorts and settles back against his pillows, throwing one arm across his face.</p><p>Castiel lies awake until he hears Dean starts snoring softly, smiling at the fact that his master didn’t touch the bottle again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He wakes several hours later and the first thing he feels is such a pleasurable contentment that he starts purring. He doesn’t know why but he feels really good, relaxed and happy. He rolls to his back and stretches out and the pleasurable feeling drags across his stomach and he realizes that it’s not an abstract feeling making him feel good but an actual physical feeling. Of a hand. A hand is petting him.</p><p>He opens his eyes only to look up at Dean, who’s propped up on one elbow, petting Castiel’s stomach with the other.</p><p>“Who knew you could act like a real cat?” he grins and Castiel stops purring immediately.</p><p>He spins out of Dean’s reach and sits up to start licking himself. Ugh, he actually <em>purred</em> while Dean petted him, how shameful.</p><p>“Aw, c’mon,” Dean laughs and lunges for a reach.</p><p>“Leave me alone,” Castiel sniffs and swipes at Dean’s hand, though his claws are retracted so Dean only gets a mild bop, which somehow only seems to amuse him more. “I have to lick myself now and it’s all your fault.”</p><p>“Hey,” Dean pouts and it makes his lips look fuller. It <em>should</em> look ridiculous on a grown man, Castiel thinks. “I’m not that dirty that you need to clean off after I touch you.”</p><p>Castiel rolls his eyes and starts licking again. “It’s not to clean, I clean off in the shower, don’t I?”</p><p>Dean licks his lips this time and Castiel wishes he would stop focusing on the man’s mouth but Dean keeps drawing attention to it.</p><p>“Yeah you do and use up all the hot water, I’m gonna have to get a bigger heater if you keep doing that.”</p><p>“I like to keep clean,” also, it’s one of his favorite places for self-pleasuring but he’s not going to admit <em>that</em>.</p><p>Dean mutters something unintelligent and lies down to rub the heels of his hands against his face as if he’s still tired. Castiel doesn’t know why, judging by his alarm clock they’ve been in bed for almost eight hours, which is much longer than Dean previously has proclaimed to need.</p><p>“What are you doing now, then?”</p><p>“I’m licking to stimulate the glands so my scent covers yours,” when he looks up he sees Dean staring at him. “What?”</p><p>“Dude you lick yourself all the time, you must <em>really</em> not like my scent on you.”</p><p>Castiel doesn’t understand why Dean sounds upset because for one, that wasn’t what he said, and second, why <em>would</em> that upset Dean? Sometimes he doesn’t understand Dean at all and he wishes his master would open up the Empathic Link again.</p><p>“That wasn’t what I said.”</p><p>“Well it was implied,” Dean grumps and gets out of bed without looking at Castiel.</p><p>“Dean…” he starts but Dean walks out of the room, leaving Castiel feeling strangely upset.</p><p>He sighs and keeps licking himself until all of him smells like normal again and that should be a good thing, it should be calming to him. But somehow he almost misses Dean’s scent now that it’s gone and he can’t help but think about how content he had felt when he woke up to Dean petting him. It has been a long time since anyone touched him like that. But it was weird, though, wasn’t it? Because Castiel isn’t really a pet and they’re not in a relationship so petting like that without consent should feel odd and invasive.</p><p>And yet it didn’t.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>(for those of you out there who have fought phase spiders in the 3.5 setting, the fact that Dean relatively easily took down the spider should be a good indication of Dean's approximate level lol)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The catnip</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This Thursday snuck up on me lol</p><p>Thanks for reading my crazy shit and thanks for the encouragement and congratulations on reaching the 2M writer achievement! You guys mean so SO much to me 💖💖💖</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>Objectively Dean thinks it was Cas that was an asshole about the whole petting thing and who should apologize. Jess informs him that Cas is not actually a cat and just petting him out of the blue when he’s asleep would be like someone coming in and rubbing Dean’s stomach when he’s out cold. Dean’s counter that he wouldn’t mind if someone as awesome as he did it doesn’t go over that well and he can admit even to himself that it was a weak argument.</p><p>Fine, so he shouldn’t have touched Cas without first confirming that it would be okay but shit, Cas looks so cute when he’s balled up and that was the first time Dean actually saw him sleeping and not just doing that cat dozing thing where they’re still completely alert.</p><p>Hell, Dean doesn’t even know why Cas decided to come into his room and sleep on his bed in the first place. He hasn’t done it since that time and Dean’s spent the last week wondering if he should bring it up. Maybe Cas had been more rattled by the whole Phase Spider thing than Dean thought.</p><p>In an effort to show that he cares, Dean goes out to buy Cas something tasty for dinner. He’s thinking of firing up the grill and make some honey glazed salmon or something along those lines because Cas likes honey and he’s a cat, so he ought to like fish, right? Jess says Dean is a moron but she won’t elaborate so Dean just goes with his plan.</p><p>By the time he parks the car outside the grocery store Cas appears to have fallen asleep on the passenger side of the bench. Dean kind of wants to pet him again but apparently that’s considered invasive or whatever, so he just pokes Cas on his back and gets a little <em>merrwp</em> back that sounds weirdly cat-like. Really, if Dean didn’t <em>know</em> that Cas is actually a thirty-something-looking dude he would be fooled by this form…</p><p>“We’re at the store, you wanna come in with me?” Cas doesn’t answer but just balls himself up tighter, making a <em>gnuff</em> sound that makes Dean bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. “Cool, you want me to buy you anything?” no answer, just more <em>gnuff</em>-ing. “Alright, I’ll be back soon.”</p><p>Dean gets the keys and steps out to shuck off his leather jacket. It’s warm enough outside that he doesn’t need it so he leaves it on the front seat for now, shaking his head as he heads into the store to try and dispel any thoughts of Cas being cute and whatnot. He’s still kind of mad at the guy for implying that having Dean’s scent on him is a nuisance and Cas has been a bit standoffish all week so there’s that too.</p><p>None of those things stop Dean from pausing at the pet section in the store, looking at the many toys and snacks for cats. Would Cas like any of those? Dean feels a bit silly just looking at them, as if he was in a lingerie store for women. He doesn’t belong here because he doesn’t have a <em>cat</em>, he’s got a <em>familiar</em> and that’s different. Plus all the cat “candy” smells like shit and rotten fish. Dean is pretty sure Cas would scratch his face off if he tried to feed him this.</p><p>What does catch his eye is a toy with catnip in it. Actually it’s more of a ball of corrugated paper that’s got a hollow inside just the right size for a plastic tube to be inserted. Dean squints at the tube and notices several very tiny holes in its sides and when he reads the description he finds out that catnip goes in the tube that goes in the ball and when the cat scratches on and plays with the ball the catnip scent will escape through the tube’s holes. This, apparently, is doubly nice for the cat because not only do they love catnip but they also like to sharpen their little claws on corrugated paper.</p><p>“Huh,” Dean says and then immediately decides on buying it. Why not, right? Catnip was after all probably what got him Cas in the first place since he didn’t add it to the spell the first two times and when he did, Cas answered his call.</p><p>Dean idles along to the check out and wonders if that was perhaps why he failed the first two times. Because he <em>didn’t </em>add the catnip. Because Cas is <em>his</em> familiar through and through and he couldn’t hear the summons without the right ingredients. He kind of likes that thought but doesn’t know what to do with it because it makes it sound as if Cas was destined to be Dean’s familiar or something sappy like that and he knows Cas has had other masters, long ago. Plus destiny and crap like that is more for people like Sam and Jess who’re disgustingly in love.</p><p>When he gets back to the car he finds himself smiling so hard his cheeks hurt. Because there, on his seat, wrapped up in his leather jacket is Cas-I’m-licking-myself-to-cover-your-scent-with-my-own, sleeping like a fucking baby.</p><p>He puts the grocery bags in the back before getting in and gently gathering Cas up in the jacket, shuffling inside while sliding the ball over to the passenger side. Cas wakes up and blinks blearily up at him.</p><p>“Dean?”</p><p>“You’re gonna get catnapped one of these days if you’re not more careful, you know,” he says with a grin. Cas just blinks and yawns, curling up inside the jacket again. Dean whistles the whole ride home.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Dean kind of forgets about the toy until after dinner but when he does remember it he goes a bit giddy with excitement. He hopes Cas gets all cute like he was in the car and Dean can maybe film him and show Sam later. Actually, Dean had wanted to take a picture of Cas during dinner, hair all sleep-tousled as he shoveled food into his mouth with the grace of someone not used to table manners, but he hadn’t of course. Mostly because Cas doesn’t understand it when Dean wants to take his picture and he gets irritated.</p><p>He preps the ball with catnip out in the kitchen and goes to find Cas. He’s back to cat form and is sitting on the couch, pressing his paw on the remote to flip through the channels. Dean loves it when Cas does human things like that while in animal form, it makes him feel like the kid with the coolest toy.</p><p>“I got you something at the store,” Dean flashes him the ball when all Cas does is hum. “It’s a cat toy.”</p><p>Oh boy, the glare he receives for that kind of stings. “Is that supposed to be funny?”</p><p>“Aw c’mon Cas,” Dean smiles and wishes he could express himself better. “I bet it’s gonna be real fun playin’ with it.”</p><p>“Dean, I assure you that I don’t play aro—”</p><p>He cuts himself off mid-sentence when Dean casually tosses the ball to the floor right in front of him. Quick as lightning Cas dashes off the couch to catch the tumbling paper ball. He smacks it several times with his little paws until he sinks his claws into it and it stills under his right paw. He seems to catch himself then and turns to glare at Dean again.</p><p>“That’s some nice hunter instincts you got there, kitty,” Dean <em>barely</em> manages not to laugh. Instead, he sits down on the couch and picks up the remote, trying to look like he doesn’t want to watch Cas play with the toy.</p><p>Cas huffs loudly. “It’s stuck to my paw.”</p><p>Dean can’t help it and has to hide a grin behind his hand. <em>Paw</em>, that’s just so cute. “Claw it off,” he offers and hears Cas make an effort to do just that.</p><p>Come to think of it, Cas probably needs to sharpen his claws, right? It’s not like he’d be going around scratching up Dean’s furniture but Dean’s seen him flexing his claws against trees when they’re outside. And that one time against the Phase Spider, which, now that Dean thinks about it, was kind of awesome. In any case Dean is just contemplating buying Cas a scratch post when he hears a loud thump and it feels like something just hit the side of the couch.</p><p>He looks over and sees nothing, but judging by the fact that Cas isn’t in the spot he was earlier Dean thinks maybe Cas just rolled against the couch while he was playing with the ball. Dean grins to himself.</p><p>“Watch the furniture, Cas,” he says with amusement but the sound he gets in response makes him freeze up.</p><p>It’s a moan, loud and unabashed.</p><p>“Dean,” Cas moans, pulling on the vowels. “<em>Dean</em>.”</p><p>“The hell?” Dean mutters and slides over to the other side of the couch to peek over the armrest. What he finds is a downright mess.</p><p>The paper ball is completely ripped to shreds and Dean realizes that the sounds he heard were not Cas trying to rid his paw of the ball, it was him tearing it open. The plastic tube has of course come loose and somehow Cas has managed to pop open the stopper at the end, drenching himself in flakes of catnip. He’s obviously been rolling around in it and managed to hit the couch in the process.</p><p>He’s on his back when Dean pokes his head over the edge, blinking lazily up at Dean. When his eyes focus he immediately stretches out his front legs and flexes his little toes.</p><p>“Dean!” he exclaims happily, too happily to be Cas.</p><p>“Are you drugged?”</p><p>Cas breaks out laughing, which sounds so fucking weird coming from a cat. His laughter sounds human but all his cat body does is open the mouth and close his eyes. He rolls around some more in the catnip, really spreading it into his fur.</p><p>“Dean, master. Master Dean. I’m yours,” he sings off-key in a rich baritone and Dean blushes unexpectedly.</p><p>“Yeah, uh, I suppose you are,” he mumbles and slides to the floor to kneel in front of Cas’ rolling form. “Are you okay?”</p><p>“Dean!” Cas suddenly exclaims as if he’s had the greatest idea in the whole fucking world, and he startles Dean with rolling suddenly to his stomach and staring up at Dean with big, blown eyes. Yup, definitely high. “You have freckles, did you know that?”</p><p>Dean blinks several times and very rapidly, as if that’s going to dispel his confusion. “Uh, yeah I did.”</p><p>Cas gasps sharply as if he’s just remembering something and in the next moment he’s trying to climb up Dean’s chest. “Dean!”</p><p>“What?” Dean struggles to get a hold on Cas’ squirming body before the cat decides to use his claws to facilitate his climbing.</p><p>“Look at me, <em>look</em>-look at… at <em>me</em>, look <em>at</em> me.”</p><p>Dean can’t <em>not</em> look at him when Cas puts his front paws on Dean’s cheeks, squishing them as he gets his face all up in Dean’s.</p><p>“What?” Dean asks again, his voice stumped by the trout mouth Cas’ squishing is giving him.</p><p>“You don’t have to be sad. I got you.”</p><p>Okay, what the fuck is going on? First of all Dean feels oddly touched but secondly, <em>what the fuck is going on</em>?</p><p>Cas puts his wet little nose against the tip of Dean’s. “Boop,” he says and breaks out in hysterical laughter.</p><p>“Is this how all cats react to catnip?” Dean asks out loud because that has to be it, right?</p><p>Cas just squirms out of Dean’s feeble grip and starts snaking around Dean’s neck, pressing as if he’s trying to climb into Dean’s skin. When he starts purring Dean freaks out. Not that he doesn’t like it that Cas is being cuddly and rubbing his scent all over Dean and purring. But the fact is that <em>Cas doesn’t do that</em>, and Dean is starting to think this isn’t normal. Hell, just a week before he got sniped at for petting Cas and now Cas is doing this? Yeah, definitely not normal.</p><p>He gets up to sit on the couch and Cas immediately climbs under Dean’s t-shirt, snaking up so that his head pokes out of the neck hole and presses against Dean’s throat. He slings his front legs around as much of Dean’s neck as he can reach and starts babbling about Dean being his master again.</p><p>Dean swallows hard and tries to keep his freaking out to a minimum as he pulls out his phone to call Sam.</p><p>Sam answers with a cheery “What’s up?” but Dean doesn’t even feel comforted by that because Cas is trying to climb out of his t-shirt again and up to gnaw on his hair.</p><p>“I think I might’ve poisoned Cas,” he says in an uncharacteristically shrill voice.</p><p>“Hold on, I’m putting you on speaker,” Sam says hastily and Dean hears rustling. Cas is licking Dean’s head now, standing on Dean’s shoulder and left arm, purring up a storm. “Say that again.”</p><p>“I-I don’t know what happened,” Dean exclaims desperately. “One minute he was fine and now he’s all over me, licking me or whatever.”</p><p>“Uh, what you do with your familiar is up to you, Dean,” Sam says unhelpfully and Dean hears Jess giggle in the background. “You don’t need to tell me.”</p><p>“No, Sam, something’s <em>wrong</em>,” Cas chooses that moment to start singing again. This time it’s an actual song, something about a man from Nantucket, and the lyrics make Dean blush. “Cas isn’t like this.”</p><p>“Well okay, something must have happened then. Why did you say you think you poisoned him?”</p><p>“I gave him a toy with catnip and he ripped it open. He’s covered in it and he’s been weird ever since.”</p><p>Sam hums. “Well, I don’t see—wait, what did you say Jess?”</p><p>Dean hears some rustling and when Jess speaks her voice sounds louder as if she’s moved closer to the phone.</p><p>“Catnip could perhaps be dangerous for Cas.”</p><p>Dean’s blood freezes and it’s not only because Cas is howling out a serenade about that Nantucket guy sucking his own dick or whatever.</p><p>“How dangerous?”</p><p>“Wait,” Sam interrupts, his tone inquisitor. “Dangerous in what way? He’s a cat, isn’t he?”</p><p>While that is a valid point Dean wants to spit fire because now’s not the time for geeky questions. Cas could be dying over here and Dean might have been the one to do it. Thankfully Jess saves Dean from having to chew out his brother when she speaks up again.</p><p>“Not really. Familiars are magical beasts, we don’t have the same anatomy as a normal animal. That’s for example why Cas can eat chocolate while a normal cat can’t.”</p><p>“So this is it?” Dean asks and doesn’t even try to hide how wobbly his voice is. “I’ve killed him?”</p><p>“I think the fact that he’s lively enough to sing about well-endowed men is a good indication that he’ll live,” Jess answers calmly but Dean can barely hear her. Sam snorts out a “So that’s what that yowling is?” but Dean doesn’t have time to concern himself with his prude of a brother.</p><p>“What do I <em>do</em>?”</p><p>“Wait it out?” Sam suggests and it sounds as if he’s asking Jess. She’s anyhow the one to answer.</p><p>“I’d say so.”</p><p>Dean doesn’t like that one bit. Cas might be fucking dying from the inside out and his fucking <em>family</em> is acting all calm and shit. Jess sounds encouraging, though, and Sam offers to look up some spells about poison damage so Dean lets the conversation go with that.</p><p>Just as he hangs up the phone Cas throws himself off Dean and lands on the couch beside him with a bounce. Dean’s heart lodges in his throat when he at first thinks Cas up and fainted on him or something. But then Cas’ four little legs start treading air and he laughs his hearty laugh again.</p><p>“Look, Dean! Look! This is what it looks like when I run,” he churns his paws faster. “Only upside down.”</p><p>Fuck it, Dean’s taking him to a vet. He knows Cas isn’t really a cat but there might be something they can do for him anyway. He takes Cas under one arm and hauls ass to his car, ignoring Cas’ gleeful “Wheee!” as he slams the front door shut and thunders off his porch.</p><p>The drive to the vet is one with mixed feelings. If Dean knew 100% that Cas was fine then he would think this it’s hilarious as hell because Cas spends the ride rubbing his face against every surface of the Impala’s interior, purring all the while. He’s like a furry seal worming around on the seats. But since he can’t know that Cas isn’t actually gonna tucker himself out and then never wake up again he can’t find it in himself to laugh at the weird display.</p><p>His heart does melt when Cas comes over as soon as he calls for him, though. Cas jumps into Dean’s lap and settles himself with his front paws on the steering wheel as if he’s gonna learn how to drive. A cute remark is on the tip of Dean’s tongue but then Cas starts making bad impressions of motor sounds and Dean knows they’re in trouble. Stoic, badass, spider-killer Cas wouldn’t behave like this unless there was something seriously wrong, Dean knows this for sure and he can’t help but speed a little.</p><p>The vet’s shop is closed at this hour and Dean nearly panics for a moment before gathering his wits and following the signs pointing him round the corner to the ER and reception. He bursts through the doors and startles the few people in the waiting area.</p><p>“I need a doctor!” he basically yells and the woman behind the reception looks at him with raised eyebrows. “Seriously, my cat is poisoned,” he holds out Cas and Cas swings smoothly, peddling his back paws again and singing about that fucking Nantucket guy. Dean is <em>very</em> grateful that the people here can only hear him meowing like a normal cat and not understand his actual words.</p><p>“He seems lively,” an elderly woman with a pug sleeping in her lap offers when Dean is met with silence.</p><p>“Yeah, but that’s the problem,” Dean says lamely. He lowers his arms, Cas still dangling there. “He’s not normally like this.”</p><p>“Okay,” the receptionist woman says and comes out to meet him with a kind smile and a piece of paper. “If you would be so kind to sit down and fill out this form, mister…?”</p><p>“Winchester,” Dean mumbles and stumbles over to the seat beside the pug lady. He doesn’t want to sit down or fill out forms but he does it anyway. Cas amuses himself with swiping at the pen when Dean tries to write. It would be kind of cute if it wasn’t for the fact that he’s also still trying to crawl into Dean’s skin.</p><p>“He must really like you,” pug lady says kindly when Dean’s pushed Cas’ butt out of the way for the third time.</p><p>Dean feels miserable. “That’s the problem. He usually doesn’t, he’s just high and possibly overdosed on catnip.”</p><p>“Well I’m sure his usual behavior is just an act,” she says sagely and scratches her pug on the head. Cas is licking Dean’s hair again. “You know what they say; the only ones to tell truths are children and drunkards.”</p><p>That’s actually somewhat comforting and Dean manages to relax a bit and finish the forms so the receptionist woman can register him and Cas.</p><p>“Is that true, Cas?” he asks in a low voice. “Do you actually like me?”</p><p>“Dean is my master,” Cas chirps and does that thing with his face that Dean thinks means he’s smiling. “I like you the mostest.”</p><p>Dean has never blushed so hard in his life.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When Dean eventually gets to see one of the on-call vets she listens to his rambling, examines Cas quickly and gives him a sedative, just for good measure.</p><p>“From what you’re describing it’s most likely that he overreacted to the sheer amount of catnip,” she explains calmly and Dean’s beginning to cool down. “Although I have to admit that what he has been exhibiting here has only been the normal way a cat would react to catnip. And usually, in the few cases where I’ve seen a cat get sick from catnip, it’s only resulted in vomiting or diarrhea. Has he had any of those symptoms?”</p><p>Dean scrubs a hand over his mouth and looks at Cas, who’s struggling to remain on his feet as the sedative kicks in.</p><p>“No, no he’s just been hyperactive.”</p><p>“Well,” she smiles kindly. “That’s kind of how catnip works.”</p><p>Maybe Dean had just been stupid after all… Now that he thinks about it, he has never seen a cat react to catnip before so maybe they all go crazy and it just seemed worse with Cas because Dean can understand what his meowing is about. And also because Cas wouldn’t normally talk about liking Dean or lick him, right? Right.</p><p>“Sorry,” he smiles too, sheepishly and probably a bit boyishly. “He’s my first cat.”</p><p>“Don’t worry,” she pats him on his arm, leaves her hand there a bit longer than necessary and any other day Dean would be turning on the charm based on that invite alone, but not today. “Better safe than sorry and we vets appreciate an owner with concern for their pets.”</p><p>“Heh, yeah,” Dean gathers Cas in his arms and Cas flops almost lifelessly against his chest, which is a hell of a lot scarier than having him sing songs about some guy’s junk. “How long until he wakes up?”</p><p>“Oh I didn’t give him much,” the vet assures him as she opens the door for him to lead him back to the reception. “Just enough to calm him down.”</p><p>Dean mumbles a thank you and pays up before taking his familiar home again, feeling a bit stupid about how he probably overreacted.</p><p>Cas comes to just as Dean puts him down on the couch at home and Dean smiles apologetically down at him, unable to keep from petting Cas’ soft fur for a moment.</p><p>“Hey there buddy,” he says in a soothing voice. “How’re you feeling?” Cas rasps something about <em>lesser</em> something and Dean frowns. “Less what? Less good?”</p><p>“Rest…” Cas shuts his eyes for a moment, and it looks like a monumental effort just to remain awake.</p><p>“Less rest? No, after this evening I think you need <em>a lot</em> of rest.”</p><p>Cas hooks the claws of his right paw on Dean’s arm and Dean sucks in air at the slight sting.</p><p>“<a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/restorationLesser.htm"><em>Lesser. Restoration</em></a>,” Cas hisses, his little triangle ears flat on his head as he glares up at Dean. “Learn it.”</p><p>He conks out as soon as he’s done speaking and Dean’s left sitting there feeling stupid. Hell, he just wanted to buy his familiar something that would make him like Dean more and it ended up only causing him grief. Maybe Cas would be better off if Dean released him from his contract after all.</p><p>But looking down at the black little cat beside him makes that feel impossible. Dean has started to really like having Cas around, even though living with him is no picnic. And judging by how scared he was this evening, thinking he had killed Cas, and how happy he felt when Cas admitted to liking him, Dean now knows that he likes Cas too. Cas is his familiar, after all, their magical abilities are connected and it gives them a profound bond.</p><p>Dean sighs to himself and gets up to carry Cas to his room, tucking the cat in with the comforter like a bird’s nest around him. He stands by the bed for a moment, looking down at Cas and thinking about this evening. How the fuck weird is his life anyway? As if getting mauled by giant spiders wasn’t enough, now he’s having to deal with a grumpy familiar too?</p><p>“Cas is gonna tear me a new one tomorrow,” Dean mutters and scrubs his hand across his head, only then remembering Cas licking all over his hair. What the fuck had that been about?</p><p>Dean shakes his head, decides not to think too much about what happened, and goes to take a shower to wash off Cas’ drool.</p><p>He leaves the bathroom door ajar in case Cas wakes up and needs him for something. Not that he doesn’t think Cas can’t handle himself or anything but those sedatives seemed to hit him harder than the vet implied they would and Dean can’t help but wondering what else could be harmful to Cas that Dean hasn’t even considered before.</p><p>He discards his clothes on the floor while he makes a mental list of things he should consider asking. Like nicotine and alcohol, stuff that he knows are harmful to humans. As he waits for the water to heat up, he tries to remember if Jess has said anything along those lines, she’s after all been living with them for a long time now but Dean hasn’t seen her have any problems. She even drinks, he remembers with a smirk. That was after all how she and Sam got to confessing their feelings in the first place. Score one for liquid courage.</p><p>Dean massages shampoo into his hair as he thinks about getting Cas drunk. Wonders if he would be like he was today because, honestly, now that Dean knows Cas wasn’t in any serious danger it’s actually kind of fun thinking about his behavior.</p><p>He snorts out a laugh unexpectedly, thinking about Cas on his back, paws in the air. “This is what it looks like when I run,” he mutters and smiles as he leans his head under the water to wash off the shampoo. Well he supposes it was pretty accurate.</p><p>Now that he thinks about it, Cas <em>was</em> kind of cute when he was like that. All affectionate and fucking hell, those were some raunchy songs he apparently knew. Dean wonders where he heard them from, if it was a former master who taught him. How did they go again?</p><p>“<em>There once was a man from Nantucket</em>,” Dean hums off-tune. “<em>Whose cock was so long he could suck it</em>…”</p><p>His hand travels down his body as he sweeps off remaining shampoo suds and he shivers pleasantly when he brushes the base of his own dick. Would it be possible to suck your own cock? Maybe Cas could, he’s pretty bendy when he’s a cat so maybe he’s just as <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQZC7sNwbUk">bendy when he’s a man</a>?</p><p>“<em>He said with a grin, while wiping his chin</em>,” Dean continues to mumble-sing as he drags his hand down his dick, waking it up slowly. “<em>If my ear were a hole I could fuck it</em>.”</p><p>He sighs out the last words as he grips himself properly, but he can’t stop humming the tune Cas had been bellowing earlier. Cas has a really deep voice normally and while singing it sounded like smoke and whisky on the rocks. And like sex, somehow.</p><p>Dean closes his eyes and pictures a generic woman, voluptuous and sultry. She looks suspiciously like his favorite porn actress that he hasn’t gotten to watch lately because he feels uncomfortable watching porn with Cas around. When Sam had been living here it hadn’t been a problem because as brothers they knew about masturbation and boundaries. But even though Cas has only entered Dean’s bedroom that one time Dean still feels weird about it.</p><p>Quick jerks off under his covers and in the shower like this are fine but those longer sessions where he would bring out his laptop and use lube and maybe that vibrator that he got one lonely night that doesn’t go <em>in</em> anywhere because that’s weird but that he likes to press against his dick, <em>those</em> nights are basically over. And his body mourns them even more than he does.</p><p>His strokes are long and measured because one thing that’s nice about Cas being shot full of sedatives is that he’s out for the night and won’t be wondering what Dean was doing in the shower. Basically he’s got a free pass to jerk it without anyone noticing and he takes advantage of that now. Imagining the hot woman on her knees in front of him, he tightens his grip around the head of his dick, only squeezing slightly to give the impression she’s got him between her full lips. The water makes weird sounds but somehow they turn Dean on and he easily imagines his dick is so wet because of saliva.</p><p>The muscles in his stomach ripples when an especially powerful wave of pleasure shoots through him and he turns around to lean his back against the tiled wall. He sighs as he starts pumping his whole length again, reaching down with his other hand to fondle his balls. They hang heavy and full, too full. Fucking hell, he wants to drag this out but knows he can’t.</p><p>“C’mon baby doll,” he moans lowly, thumping his head back against the wall. He pauses to squeeze the base of his dick once but nope, there’s no way he’s prolonging this no matter how much he wants to.</p><p>He’s harder than he’s been in a long while and it just feels so fucking good. He braces the other hand against the wall behind his back as he starts fucking his hand instead of stroking. God yes, it would be so good to have someone in front of him right now. Maybe on their knees so he could fuck their face or bent over so he could take them from behind. Dean can practically see it even though his eyes are squeezed shut.</p><p>He’s <em>really</em> glad that whole debacle with Cas and the catnip hasn’t rattled him enough to take moments like this away from him. Because Cas is fine so Dean should be fine to enjoy himself too. And, thinking about it, today had actually been kind of good because he had learnt some new sides to Cas. Like the singing and that he actually likes Dean, possibly. Sober, Cas would probably never admit something like that, but that lady was probably right and Cas, in his drunken state, had most likely been telling the truth.</p><p>“Yeah he likes me,” Dean huffs out and opens his eyes to grin down at his leaking dick.</p><p>If it weren’t for the water washing down over him, his hand would be covered in precome. Fuck it feels good, he’s gonna come any second. He can feel his balls drawing up and his stomach muscles tighten with anticipation and Dean loves this moment the most. The moment right before the hot coil in his lower abdomen bursts and everything is released, his hot come shooting out, claiming whatever it lands on as his and—</p><p>The moment he looks up at the shower curtain he sees a shadow on the other side, small and round just inside the door, just the same size as a cat. That is also the moment he comes with a strangled cry, his come splattering the shower curtain in thick globs and Dean can’t take his eyes away from the shadow, even in the throes of his orgasm.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. The Manticore</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi y'all!<br/>I know it's not Thursday today but tomorrow is too busy for me to post and thankfully the chapter is already finished and beta'd so here we are 😄<br/>Hope you don't mind 💖💖💖</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>The next day Castiel feels like shit. His head is heavy and he can barely keep his eyes open. He threw up a little in the shower but managed to flush it down the drain so he hasn’t said anything to Dean. Dean, for his part, is acting weirdly. Distantly, Castiel wonders if he said or did something embarrassing yesterday because Dean keeps staring at him and then blushing when he’s caught.</p><p>Well, Castiel supposes he <em>was</em> embarrassing so it’s probably that. All he remembers is getting that stupid toy, accidentally ripping it open in his haste to rid his paw of it and then the scent of catnip. Castiel <em>hates</em> catnip. Any cat would react to it but being a magical beast Castiel’s reaction is amplified, even in human form. Last time someone slipped him catnip he had ended up down by the docks dancing cancan with the whores and he had sworn to never go near the stuff again. Probably should have mentioned that to Dean, though.</p><p>Looking at his master he’s pretty sure Dean feels bad about what happened, and he couldn’t have known anyway. Castiel is just glad there weren’t any whores around with whom he could dance…</p><p>“You, um, feelin’ okay?” Dean mumbles as he puts a mug with lemon tea in front of Castiel, his whole demeanor uncharacteristically shy.</p><p>“I’ve been better,” Castiel replies curtly and dips his toast in the steaming tea before munching on it because the sound of chewing on the crunchy toast is too much for his pounding head.</p><p>“I’d give you some pain meds but now I’m afraid of poisoning you again.”</p><p>Castiel squints at Dean’s turned back and red ears. “It’s fine,” he’s only glad Dean’s speaking with a lower, smoother voice, presumably to spare Castiel’s headache.</p><p>Dean sighs and sits down opposite Castiel at the kitchen table. He pushes a glass of orange juice over to Castiel and he drinks that thirstily.</p><p>“I’m really sorry, okay? I just… I dunno, I just wanted to do something nice for you.”</p><p>Castiel blinks in surprise. He hadn’t expected Dean to say something like that. Castiel likes Dean well enough and he would like for them to get along even better but the truth is that their relationship is mostly professional, if it can even be called a relationship. To hear that Dean apparently wants to improve on it makes Castiel unexpectedly happy and he hopes Dean can feel it through their Empathic Link.</p><p>“You made that salmon with my tastes in mind, I appreciate that more than I suspect you understand,” Castiel wants to kick himself for how condescending that sounded when he said it out loud but Dean seems to understand because he smiles widely in that way Castiel likes to see.</p><p>“That was one hell of a salmon, huh? Next time I’ll grill up some tuna with Romaine lettuce and lemon.”</p><p>Castiel’s stomach gives an unexpected growl and he looks down at it in surprise. Well, he supposes he was bound to get hungry now that his nausea has cooled down.</p><p>“I would like that, you’re very good at cooking.”</p><p>Dean blushes all cutely in that way that empathizes his freckles and in a way Castiel has never really seen a man do before. Their Link positively blooms with Dean’s happiness and Castiel feels bad about not praising Dean sooner. That their relationship is stilted is not only Dean’s fault, Castiel knows this. He supposes he’s still a bit miffed about how disappointed Dean was about not getting a female familiar and he’s resentful of the fact that he knows he could be what Dean was looking for in that imagined female if only the man would let him. Plus he had actually thought he was retired so forgive him if he wasn’t prepared to be summoned again.</p><p>But in any case he’s also aware that building a trusting relationship is a two-way street and never mind how Dean’s attempt with the catnip had turned out, at least he’s making an effort and so should Castiel, he thinks. Especially when he sees how adorable Dean is, preening from so little.</p><p>“In that case, why don’t I fry you up some bacon?” Dean says with a grin, rising to pluck ingredients from the fridge. “Nothing better to cure a hang-over than some grease.”</p><p>Castiel thinks yet again of <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/restorationLesser.htm"><em>Lesser Restoration</em> </a>but decides not to mention it. He likes to look at Dean while he cooks so instead he just leans back and enjoys his tea while Dean hums on a tune Castiel thinks sounds familiar but that he can’t place.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Two days later Castiel feels a bit better, even if he’s had to endure Sam and Jess cracking jokes at his expense. He’s graceful about it, though, because there’s not much he can do about it anyway and he knows that they know he was high on catnip.</p><p>Apparently he had been singing and while Dean refuses to repeat the song, Jess remembers it and is swift in teaching Sam the tune and what little of the lyrics they had apparently heard when Dean had called them. Castiel is too touched that Dean had gotten such a fright from Castiel’s acting that he had called his little brother to be bothered by Sam and Jess singing about men from Nantucket with members that seem impractically long.</p><p>Dean, on the other hand, blushes in that weird way again and he throws Castiel some side-ways glances sometimes that make Castiel think he might have said something too embarrassing to share even with Sam. He likes to see the normally so brazen Dean shy, though, so he easily divulges the story of how he came to know the Nantucket songs and he’s secretly pleased to see Dean grow very flustered. Sam and Jess just howl with laughter and Castiel can see that it’s more the thought of him, being as stoic as he’s been around them, sitting on a randy sailor’s lap that’s amusing them rather than the songs themselves.</p><p>In any case Castiel decides that he likes this side of Dean and would like to see more of it. It’s even better when he sneaks into the bathroom while Dean is brushing his teeth. He’s taken a liking to sitting on the closed toilet lid, talking about their day while Dean readies himself for bed. Dean is a bit skittish every time he comes into the bathroom and Castiel likes feeling Dean’s embarrassed apprehension through the Empathic Link but he doesn’t really know why he likes the feeling.</p><p>It occurs to him that he thinks of Dean as cute and also that he likes to tease the man and he knows where those feelings could stem from but he doesn’t pursue it, certain Dean would want nothing to do with anything like that anyway. In any case it’s fun to watch Dean squirm.</p><p>It’s a week after the catnip incident, and endless teasing later, that Sam comes into the backroom at the Winchester Emporium with a newspaper in hand and a serious expression Castiel has never before seen him show. Unexpectedly, since she usually surveys the shop, Jess glides in after him and perches on the back of one of the chairs.</p><p>“What’s up?” Dean says, turning in his seat to meet his brother.</p><p>Castiel continues looking for flaws in the woven rune magic on the magic ring a sorceress came in with yesterday. The ring is supposed to give the bearer <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicItems/rings.htm#xRayVision"><em>x-ray vision</em> </a>upon a spoken command but there’s something wrong with the magic and apparently it’s causing temporary blindness instead. The magic is actually quite interesting in the way it’s woven — ancient, even — and Castiel has been having a good time discussing it with Dean who is more than eager to learn, despite claiming studying is for Sam.</p><p>“Bobby sent us this,” Sam says in a tone to match his expression and lays down the paper in front of Dean.</p><p>Bobby is an old Warlock that lives north of here, Castiel knows by now. He was apparently very helpful when Sam and Dean were younger and had been a friend of their parents. It’s also mostly Bobby that provides the brothers with magic scrolls, which Castiel had found to be the most interesting tidbit.</p><p>Dean eyes the newspaper for a moment, his expression mostly confused but then his eyes apparently catch whatever it is that Sam’s hinting at because he closes off the Empathic Link so harshly that Castiel feels a twinge in his mind. He glares over at the man but drops it when he sees Dean’s face. Dark and menacing, Castiel is drawn to his master’s side before he can even make it a conscious decision.</p><p>He reads the newspaper headlines quickly and gathers this is either about <em>“12 Dead in Freakish Car Crash”</em> or <em>“Louisiana Swamp Cat Strikes Again”</em>. He brushes his tail against Dean’s arm to get his attention because he hates it when Dean closes the Link and his master knows this. Dean jerks as if he had been in a trance and he looks guilty for a second before the Link opens up again and Castiel is blasted with Dean’s emotions.</p><p>Sadness, fear, anger, regret, but most of all: determination.</p><p>Dean gets up from his seat, his mouth a hard line. “Prepare for a hunt, Cas.”</p><p>“Dean,” Sam mumbles soothingly. Castiel has already hopped down to the floor, more than prepared to be what his master needs him to be. “You can’t kill them all.”</p><p>“I can try.”</p><p>Jess shifts into the beautiful woman that is her human form and she comes up to Dean, puts a hand on his arm. “It won’t bring them back.”</p><p>Castiel stops in the door, feeling oddly left out. Obviously there’s something here that he doesn’t know about. Someone has died and it’s got something to do with what was in that paper and Dean is out for revenge. All of this Castiel can deduce on his own but he kind of hates that he has to. And hates even more that there are blanks left to fill. Dean is his master and should have wanted to share things like this with him and the fact that he hasn’t leaves Castiel feeling hollow inside.</p><p>Dean obviously catches this through the Empathic Link because he looks directly at Castiel, his eyes soft for a moment before becoming hard with determination once again.</p><p>“It’s not up for discussion, you’ll manage the shop without Cas and me,” he brushes off both Jess and Sam and Castiel can’t help but feeling smug about the fact that Dean included him, both now and before. That’s right, Castiel might not understand everything that’s going on right now but he’s the one Dean turns to in these kinds of situations and that feels right, his master <em>should</em> rely on him.</p><p>Dean surprises Castiel with stopping by his side to scoop him up and holding him to his chest. Dean hasn’t really carried him since the catnip incident and Castiel has all but forgotten how nice it had been back there in Dean’s hood. He remembers now, though, and can’t help but curl his tail loosely around Dean’s arm.</p><p>“Just be careful,” Sam says, almost pleads, and Dean snorts.</p><p>“Don’t worry, it’s probably only one of them. Nothing I can’t handle.”</p><p>That’s true, Castiel thinks, whatever it is they’re hunting Dean will be adept at handling it. Despite Castiel chewing him out for every little mistake against the Phase Spider Dean had actually surprised him with how fluent his movements were. It might be that Castiel’s influence has something to do with that and if that’s the case he feels even better about this whole thing because that would mean their bond is much stronger than he thinks. As long as he and Dean are together Castiel is sure they can handle whatever they’re hunting without too many injuries.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Everything of course went to fucking hell.</p><p>Well, the goddamn <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/manticore.htm">Manticore</a> is dead and buried in the swamp so Dean supposes that’s always something but it’s a small consolation price when he’s so injured he’s basically being carried by Cas, wheezing and groaning as his familiar drags him through the door of their rented motel room in Dulac, Louisiana. They’re just lucky they’re basically the only ones staying at the motel so hopefully no one saw them.</p><p>Dean crashes down on the only bed, moaning pathetically as the action pulls at the gaping wound that goes from his right hip and up his back. This is the first time in his long life as a hunter that he’s run out of <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/cureLightWounds.htm"><em>Cure</em> </a>scrolls and still is so wounded he’s not sure he’s gonna make it.</p><p>Cas’ expression as he works to get Dean’s clothes off is cool and collected and whatever Dean can feel through their Empathic Link is efficiency and professionalism. Dean’s torn between feeling safe because this must be how doctors act in emergency situations and annoyed because it would be nice if Cas could at least pretend to care if Dean died or not.</p><p>Actually, aside from the whole fight with the fucking Manticore, Dean had thought he and Cas had been having a good time. They had even joked around a little and Cas had felt more relaxed than before. It’s almost as if the whole catnip thing breached that little gap between them, gave them something to laugh about together.</p><p>Where Dean thought Cas would be mad when retold how he had acted he had instead been jovial and he’s even been telling them stories about his past, which gives Dean conflicting emotions. He likes to hear about Cas’ past because it’s interesting — <em>Cas</em> is interesting — but it also makes him feel jealous of all the people that apparently has known Cas so very well. It’s kind of ridiculous of him, really, and he’s happy that he’s been able to hide that side of him from Cas.</p><p>He's even happier that whatever the fuck happened in his mind when he jerked off in the shower has not been made public knowledge. Yes, he’s kind of plagued by how disappointed he had been when he had ripped the shower curtain out of the way to find only his own clothes in a rumbled pile by the door and no Cas playing peeping-tom but he’s also happy that… well, that it <em>hadn’t</em> been Cas. Because that would have been weird. Why would Cas even want to look at Dean while he masturbates, Cas is a guy too. So there, it hadn’t been Cas, Dean didn’t do anything weird, and their relationship is stronger than ever. Dean really should let it go.</p><p>Except he can’t.</p><p>Sometimes Cas just looks at him with those eyes of his that are too fucking <em>knowing</em>, and Dean can’t help but wonder what Cas sees when he looks at Dean. At times it feels like Cas sees Dean’s soul and Dean kind of hopes he does. Because he hasn’t left Dean yet and that would mean that even a soul like Dean’s is good enough. But good enough for what? Cas’ company, surely, but Dean isn’t so sure that’s all he wants anymore. What else would there be, though? Dean doesn’t really know but he does know that he’s only jerked off once since that incident in the shower and that session was so unsatisfying that he almost wanted to weep and he doesn’t even know why he’s holding himself back. Maybe he’s just sexually frustrated and definitely unused to living together with someone other than Sam.</p><p>Hell, even Cas’ hands on him now as Cas tends to his wound feel good and that’s gotta be because Dean’s starved for touch, right? And then suddenly Dean stops thinking about things like that because Cas has managed to cut off his shirt and he’s prodding at the wound and the pain is white hot.</p><p>“Dean, stay with me,” Cas says in his gravelly voice and Dean tries, God help him, he tries so hard to stay conscious but when Cas starts disinfecting the wound he passes out.</p><p>The darkness envelops him like an old friend and he sighs out a name, unsure which, but feels a push of affection through the Link just before he slips away.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When Dean wakes up he notices two things. Blinding hot pain emanating from his wound, and Cas sitting in the armchair opposite the bed, reading dad’s old journal. Since the first thing was what made him pass out in the first place he decides to focus on the latter.</p><p>“Hey,” he croaks and makes a pathetic attempt at sitting up. “Don’t read that.”</p><p>Cas looks up and studies Dean’s angered face for a moment before getting up and going over to the bed, putting the journal on the nightstand.</p><p>“How are you?” he touches Dean’s no doubt feverish forehead but Dean just slaps his hand away.</p><p>“Don’t deflect, you shouldn’t go through my fucking stuff, Cas. That journal is private.”</p><p>Cas sighs and sits down on the bed, looking at the journal for a moment. “Your father wrote that.”</p><p>“What of it?” other than that making it private. Dean wonders off-handedly why he isn’t as upset about Cas reading it as he’s pretending to be.</p><p>When Cas shifts his intensely blue eyes on Dean, he stops breathing for just a second. “The last entry was about a pack of Manticores. Your parents were killed by them, weren’t they?”</p><p>Dean swallows and rests back against the pillow, averting his eyes. “Yeah,” he says at length and Cas sighs again.</p><p>Dean’s just about to say something snarky but stops himself when Cas starts fussing with the blankets. He rolls around as much as he can when Cas pushes him so that he can have a look at the wound. It’s then that he sees the pain meds on the nightstand, better pills than what Dean had brought. He reaches out for the package but can’t reach, especially not when the action pulls at the wound. Cas rolls him to his back again and pops two pills for him.</p><p>“Where’d you get these?” Dean murmurs and accepts the water Cas brings him as well.</p><p>“I asked the receptionist. He said these were the strongest they had and if I wanted better I should go to a pharmacy. I didn’t want to leave you for too long, though. But I did clean the blood off the car so no one will see.”</p><p>Dean slumps back against his pillow again, frowning at how happy he feels about being taken care of like this. “Thanks.”</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>Cas stays seated on the bed, fussing with the blanket again, as if having it cover Dean’s body will heal him. He doesn’t meet Dean’s eyes but Dean looks his fill anyway. Cas looks a bit run down, tired in a way he’s never looked before. Hair tousled as if he has been running his hands through it. The bags under his eyes are bigger. He looks worried, Dean realizes with a start.</p><p>“I had just turned nineteen,” he says after a while and Cas shifts his gaze to Dean’s face but now Dean is the one to look away, unsure whether he can keep eye contact without crying. “Sammy was still in high school. He wanted to go to a university, study law. I was always set on taking over the shop and mom and dad were okay with leaving me to tend it on my own by then. They lived for the hunt, though. So, I mean, it wasn’t unusual that they went without us,” he draws a shuddering breath. “Bobby helped us find out what happened to them. Wasn’t much left of their bodies by the time we found the Manticore nest. It was a pack of two adults and three pups. Guess they needed food for their young ones,” his voice fails him and he presses out a smile but doesn’t really know why. It’s not like it’s anything to smile about. Helps him not to cry, though.</p><p>Cas puts his hand on Dean’s chest when Dean’s been quiet for a while, right above his thumping heart. “Thank you for telling me.”</p><p>“I should have told you from the beginning,” Dean says then, suddenly understanding why Cas was reading dad’s journal.</p><p>Granted they haven’t known each other that long but Dean has probably been fanatical enough in his hunt this time that even Cas could tell the difference. Plus there’s their Link. Dean pushes feelings of regret and affection towards Cas and he feels a warmth bloom at Cas’ surprised but pleased expression.</p><p>“You are not obligated to tell me everything, Dean,” Cas says in a calm tone. “But I would like it if you did confide in me. I <em>am</em> your familiar.”</p><p>Dean smiles a crooked smile at the thought of Cas being jealous not to be included. “Sam says I’m being weird about Manticores.”</p><p>“Revenge is a powerful driving force, master,” Cas says and Dean blushes for absolutely no fucking reason. “But one that is understandable as well. Killing all Manticores might not bring your parents back but at least it will ensure that no one else has to lose theirs the same way.”</p><p>Yes, see, this is <em>exactly</em> the argument Dean has been using all these years. “Thanks, Cas,” he smiles and feels a thrill go through him when Cas smiles back.</p><p>“Now, you need to rest. Your wound looks good, looks like you at least won’t get infected or anything that can lead to sepsis.”</p><p>“I’m just impressed you know what that is, considering your last time topside was so long ago.”</p><p>Cas gives him a look that tells Dean he’s being stupid. “I’m highly intelligent, Dean. I learn quickly.”</p><p>“This from the cat that jumps every time the toaster pops.”</p><p>“It’s too unpredictable,” Cas snaps with a finite tone and Dean can’t do anything but grin. “Anyway, I would like for you to eat something, do you think you would manage that now or do you want to rest some more?”</p><p>Dean barely has to think about it. “I wanna sleep.”</p><p>“Very well, do you need to use the restroom?”</p><p>Dean forces another grin, oddly flushed at the thought of Cas helping him in the bathroom. “It’s fine.”</p><p>Cas hums in thought and stands up only to lean over Dean’s prone body. In and in and in way too fucking close. Dean’s just about to ask what the fuck is up when Cas abruptly turns into his cat form and tumbles down on Dean’s chest. Dean makes an <em>oof</em> sound, but Cas just kneads his chest for a moment before lying down, curling up into a little ball.</p><p>“Cas, c’mon, you weigh like 10 pounds.”</p><p>“I do not,” Cas sniffs indignantly and when Dean puts his hand on the cat’s soft back Cas digs in his claws a little. Not hard enough to break the skin but definitely hard enough for Dean to know what’s what.</p><p>“Fine,” Dean mutters and rubs one hand against his eye as the other starts gently petting Cas’ back. After a moment Cas starts up a rumbling purr and Dean can’t help but grin about that. “I’ve read that cats think purring helps facilitate healing,” he says conversationally.</p><p>“Just sleep, Dean,” Cas murmurs through his purr and how can Dean not when he’s got a vibrating furnace on his chest?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The second time Dean wakes up it’s much later, late enough for the sun to have set at least, and he’s both starving and woken by an insistent bladder. Sometime during their sleep Cas has slid off Dean’s chest and Dean has turned as much as his battered body could take and he’s now practically cradling Cas while the cat sleeps on his back, paws spread everywhere and the tip of his tongue sticking out. He looks ridiculous but Dean finds himself smiling fondly down at his familiar.</p><p>“Guess this was a hard day for you too, huh?” he whispers and gives in to the childish urge to rub the pad of his finger against Cas’ tongue.</p><p>Cas snorts awake almost immediately, blinks at Dean, and then sneezes. It’s so fucking <em>adorable</em> that Dean’s heart hurts. When Cas yawns in that huge way only cats can, Dean can’t resist poking him on the tongue again. Cas’ mouth snaps shut so fast Dean barely has time to pull out and he chuckles at Cas’ glare.</p><p>“You seem lively enough,” Cas comments dryly and rolls to his feet, stretching each limb individually.</p><p>“How can I not when I had my own little fur ball purring up a storm?” Dean asks before he can stop himself, but he doesn’t regret the words, and he definitely doesn’t regret saying it out loud when he sees Cas practically squirm with delight. Well hell, Dean never would have pegged Cas for being into praise but maybe he is. And really, who doesn’t like to hear they’ve done a good job?</p><p>“In any case your finger tasted very salty, you need to wash off sweat and drink a lot to replenish your strength.”</p><p>Dean nods slowly. “I’m hungry too.”</p><p>“That’s a good sign.”</p><p>Dean looks out the window, or what he can see through the hastily drawn drapes. “I dunno how long things stay open here in Dulac, what’s the time?”</p><p>Cas turns human and digs around for Dean’s phone, and the first thing Dean sees is about a million text messages and missed calls from Sam. Goddamnit, Dean had forgotten all about his overprotective little brother…</p><p>“It’s still pretty early, I think Schmoopy’s might be open,” Cas offers as Dean scrolls through the texts.</p><p>He shudders. “And you think that any food comin’ from someone called <em>Schmoopy</em> is gonna be fine to eat?”</p><p>“I think you’ve depleted your magic abilities and I can’t drive. Schmoopy’s is within walking distance.”</p><p>Dean frowns and is just about to argue that Cas doesn’t have to drive because Dean can do it but of course his injury chooses that moment to send him a twinge of remembrance.</p><p>“Maybe Ceana’s Cajun delivers to the door,” he mutters, abandoning Sam for now to search for a phone number to the restaurant. It had looked nice enough when they drove past it anyway and Dean’s friend Benny has made him Cajun style cooking before and he likes it. “But this brings up a valid point, you should learn how to drive.”</p><p>“I’ve been thinking the same,” Cas admits thoughtfully. “And you should learn <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/teleport.htm"><em>Teleport</em></a>.”</p><p>Man, the face Cas had made when Dean had informed him that not only wasn’t the spell included in his usually daily repertoire, but he didn’t even know it, had been spectacular. Well excuse Dean for enjoying driving. Though in situations like these he supposes he sees the point… It’s just that he’s never really been stranded before. On the <em>other</em> hand, it’s not just about being stranded like they are now, a spell like <em>Teleport</em> or <em><a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/teleportGreater.htm">Greater Teleport</a></em> would come in handy in situations like the swamp too. Not having to trudge through that would have been great…</p><p>“I’ll think about it,” he concedes, and Cas seems surprised but happy and Dean leaves it at that.</p><p>Dean’s super sad that Ceana’s doesn’t offer delivery but Schmoopy’s makes up for it by having burgers on their menu that at least look good online. Dean hopes the pictures aren’t misleading. Also, they offer to come to their motel room and that’s good because Dean’s still a bit uncertain if Cas understands credit cards and should be left alone to do purchases.</p><p>The food will take about twenty minutes, so they spend that time redressing the wound and Cas helps Dean to the toilet. He forces his familiar to leave him alone in there but sits down to pee like a good boy. Only because he literally couldn’t stand on his own and not because of Cas commanding him to, mind you.</p><p>“This ain’t getting much better,” Dean says as they dig into their food. It’s surprisingly good and Cas eyes Dean’s burger as if it’s any different from his.</p><p>“I think it looks fine.”</p><p>“You’re a dork,” Dean informs him with his mouth full of food. “I’m talking about my wound. I’m gonna have Bobby overnight us some healing scrolls. Sam’s gonna blow up if we take too long to get home. And hey,” he points sternly at Cas who pauses with his burger halfway into his mouth. “No mentioning what a close call this was, okay? No need to scare that worry wart more than necessary.”</p><p>Cas bites off a chunk and chews properly for perhaps the first time since Dean’s met him.</p><p>“You don’t usually tell Sam when it gets bad, do you?”</p><p>Dean shrugs as best he can in his half-reclined position on the bed. He can’t very well lie down and eat a burger but he can barely sit up either. Everything fucking hurts.</p><p>“Sam’s my family, I want him to have a happy life.”</p><p>Cas’ eyes shine with concern and Dean grimaces at him. “So what did you do before me? Hole up in a motel room like this and hoped you didn’t die?”</p><p>“Hey, I’ll have you know this isn’t a usual state for me. I’ve never been life-threateningly injured before.”</p><p>Cas makes a displeased face and Dean can’t fathom why so he just digs into his fries. “If you’re taking more risks because you have me now I’m going to be really mad, Dean.”</p><p>“I ain’t,” Dean mutters and decides to never tell Cas that the reason the Manticore got him this good was because he had been scared that Cas would get hit and had thrown himself in the way.</p><p>Cas is great at dodging but grown Manticores shoot out up to six spikes from their tail with only seconds long intervals. No one can dodge them all and Cas is so tiny, Dean bets only one or two spikes would be enough to end him.</p><p>“So Sam doesn’t know that you’ve been injured before?”</p><p>Dean frowns because this topic is putting a damper on his dinner. “He knows, he’s not dumb. But if I got too wounded to get in the car and drive back immediately I just shacked up for a few days and pretended the hunt took longer than it really did. It’s nothing to worry about.”</p><p>Cas looks like he doesn’t agree, and Dean feels that jealousy burn through him. It’s a ridiculous jealousy, like all jealousies Dean supposes, but he does feel that Cas is <em>his</em> familiar and should take <em>his</em> side. On the other hand, Jess has more than once disagreed with Sam, so Dean supposes that’s how relationships work.</p><p>As soon as the thought enters his mind, he snaps his head up and stares at Cas with a beating heart, as if the man could have heard Dean’s thoughts. Cas, however, is busy plucking pickles from his burger with a comically concentrated expression. Yeah, Dean’s just being silly. Besides, he was thinking about <em>business relationships</em>, no other kind. Not like Sam and Jess. Yeah.</p><p>“In any case it doesn’t matter. I’ll call Bobby after dinner and he’ll send us some <em>Cure</em> scrolls. We’ll be outta here in a day or two. If we’re lucky we won’t even be here long enough for you to have to help me take a bath.”</p><p>Cas looks up and looks too goddamn calm for how much Dean is freaking out internally. Why the <em>fuck</em> did he say something like that?!</p><p>“I wouldn’t mind that, Dean,” Cas answers and smiles a little when Dean coughs around his next bite. “But even better would be for you to expand from the Arcane and learn some Divine spells as well, to heal yourself if nothing else.”</p><p>“I, yeah…” Dean croaks and has to cough again because he can’t calm down. Not when Cas reaches over and wipes Dean’s mouth with his napkin as if that is totally fucking normal for two guys in a business relationship to do. “I sho-should do that. Can you… um, I mean, have you…?” Dean doesn’t even know what he’s talking about, too busy realizing that he probably doesn’t want Cas as a <em>business</em> partner. Probably, perhaps, maybe.</p><p>“I can help you with the Divine, master,” Cas says with a kind smile and yeah, Dean’s <em>never</em> thought of a familiar calling someone their master as something sexual but here we are. And there Cas is, all rumpled and cute and <em>a man</em>, what the fuck?</p><p>Perhaps they should check for sepsis again because clearly Dean’s not thinking straight…</p><p> </p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. The dating</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi y'all!<br/>I know you wanna see progress soon but Dean's gotta Dean first because that boy is kinda slow when it comes to feelings and stuff... So please bear with him (and me) for a little while longer 🤣🤣🤣</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>“Is there anything you <em>can’t</em> do?”</p><p>Castiel tries not to preen too visibly but the fact is that he likes it when Dean praises him and brags about him. He likes it when Sam and Jess are impressed with his vast knowledge as well, but it feels better with Dean. It’s probably because of their more profound bond that allows him to feel the emotions that accompanies Dean’s words. Besides, Dean is Castiel’s master and Castiel has always liked to please his masters. His last master before Dean always said that was one of Castiel’s greater qualities.</p><p>“I’ve worked closely with Druids in the past,” he answers calmly as if his insides aren’t curling pleasantly at the sight of Dean’s smile. “They’re usually Divine casters and I learned some of their spell structure at the command of my then master.”</p><p>“Smart,” Dean mumbles and goes back to studying the weave of the Druidic version of the <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/cureLightWounds.htm"><em>Cure Light Wounds</em></a> Bobby usually makes for the brothers.</p><p>It’s not even three weeks after the Manticore hunt and Castiel is happy that Dean is showing no signs of needing the bottle like Jess warned him about. If it would have been bad after Viola and the Phase Spider, Jess told Castiel it would get even worse after a Manticore hunt. Traditionally Sam used to make up some excuse that would mean he would have to sleep over at the house after those kinds of hunts.</p><p>And Castiel understands why Dean would feel like that and why Sam would want to protect him. But he’s been reassuring Sam that he will take care of Dean now and he has. Dean has even put the whisky bottle out in the kitchen instead of keeping it by his bed. And the evening after they finally got back, Dean had asked if Castiel wanted to learn about video games and they had spent several hours playing until Dean had fallen asleep on the couch. Castiel still thinks fondly of the memory and he’s prideful enough to think that his presence is a good influence on his master.</p><p>“What was he like, your old master?” Dean asks suddenly and Castiel mulls the question over.</p><p>“Like a father, I suppose. I don’t have an actual father but he was a kind old man who used to call me son and smile at me like I sometimes saw fathers smiling at their children. It was comforting,” he smiles as best he can while in his cat form when he notices how much attention Dean is giving him. “Why do you ask?”</p><p>Dean does that thing where he pretends he isn’t blushing. “It’s just that you and your master got caught up learning raunchy sailor songs and at the same time he was a studious old dude. It’s a funny contrast.”</p><p>“Ah, well that’s because that’s two different masters,” Castiel tilts his head to the side when Dean makes an unusual expression. Castiel can’t place it but think it’s somewhere between flustered and irritated.</p><p>“How many masters have you had?”</p><p>Castiel blinks. “Seven, you included,” Dean shakes his head and somehow, without apparent reason, the mood sours. Castiel frowns but Dean stands up and starts gathering his things. “Why?”</p><p>“No reason, just didn’t know you were so popular.”</p><p>Is… is Dean jealous? But of what? Castiel doesn’t know what to do in this situation, what happened to Dean being impressed and happy? Castiel wants that moment back but doesn’t know how to go there.</p><p>“Actually, for someone who’s lived as long as I have, seven is a low number. I would rather say I’m unpopular.”</p><p>It’s true, Jess has already had five masters in total even though she’s much younger than Castiel, if she keeps the numbers up she will have had a lot more than him by the time she reaches his age.</p><p>Dean anyhow pauses at his words and looks down at Cas where he’s sitting on the table. Their eyes lock and Castiel finds himself caught staring into Dean’s wonderfully green eyes. Truly he’s never seen such captivating eyes before and, considering his long life, that’s a feat in and of itself.</p><p>Their staring is broken when Sam bustles into the back room. “I just closed the shop, you can go home now,” he grins down at the scattered papers of Dean’s research. “Not that you did much shop work today, how’s the Divine going?”</p><p>Dean rubs his neck in a nervous gesture Castiel has started to think of as endearing. “It’s fine, I guess. Complicated.”</p><p>“You’re doing great,” Castiel assures Dean, making the man blush, much to Sam’s amusement. He turns human and starts helping with the clean-up. “Can we have sushi today?”</p><p>“Great idea,” Sam exclaims happily. “I’ll go get Jess.”</p><p>Actually Castiel had meant for him and Dean to have take-out and eat it on the couch while watching that silly doctor show but he supposes this is his fault for turning human before speaking. In cat form at least Sam wouldn’t be able to understand him. He sighs a little as Sam walks out to find his girlfriend.</p><p>“I kinda wanted to eat in my boxers but whatever,” Dean mutters and Castiel feels an unexpected thrill at the thought of him and Dean wanting the same thing without even communicating it.</p><p>Dean glances at him and Castiel realizes too late that he probably pushed his feelings through the Empathic Link. It’s not something he’s ashamed of feeling, though, so he just smiles at Dean, who blushes again. Castiel doesn’t know why Dean’s started doing that so often but he likes it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Okay, so here’s Dean super smart plan to get over whatever the fuck it is that he’s kinda, maybe, hopefully <em>not</em>, feeling towards Cas: date a beautiful woman.</p><p>Because, see, Dean’s problem is so basic. He’s just a very physical guy and he’s not gotten laid lately, nor has he gotten a good jerk-off session. Dean is the first to admit that maybe he had been a bit stupid thinking he would automatically get someone like Jess when he summoned his familiar but yeah, the fact is that he’d had his hopes up and they kinda got crushed. So he’s been left wanting, nothing weird about that.</p><p>The point is that he got Cas, though, and while Cas is cool as all hell and Dean is stoked they’re finally actually getting along the fact is that nothing’s gonna happen between them. Because Cas is a guy, right? It would be weird. And Dean thinking about Cas snuggling with him on that motel bed is a bit odd. Especially after that time he had started daydreaming about it and wondered how it would have been if Cas hadn’t been in his cat form. Like, what <em>would</em> it feel like to snuggle with a grown man?</p><p>And don’t get Dean started on the whole purring thing. Because Cas has been purring a bit more since Louisiana and while Dean mostly jokes about it, he has to admit, at least to himself, that he kind of likes the sound. And not how a normal pet owner will go all dewy-eyed over their cat purring for them but… but he <em>likes</em> the sound. And to be honest, that’s kind of disgusting of him, right?</p><p>So yeah, Dean is weird and sexually frustrated, and he shouldn’t be taking it out on Cas like he had the other day. Seriously, how embarrassing hadn’t that been? Getting jealous over Cas having former masters, as if that will make Dean less important in Cas’ eyes. See, this is why Dean needs a girlfriend…</p><p>He’s got his eyes set on Lisa Braeden, the hot yoga instructor from down the street. They’ve actually been out for coffee once before but at that time it had looked like she would be getting back with her then on-again-off-again boyfriend. Now reliable sources tell Dean that she’s truly single and what better time to strike?</p><p>He whistles as he and Cas leave the shop for the evening, intent on having a quick chat before taking Cas home and frying up some mackerel. For a guy who claims being a cat doesn’t affect him as a human Cas sure does love his fish, Dean thinks with amusement. And hey, Dean likes to please people so why not indulge? Sam’s even been impressed with how much home cooked meals Dean is eating nowadays and though Dean refuses to admit that it’s because he likes to see Cas enjoy his cooking, that’s actually the main reason.</p><p>“Just gotta make a pit stop,” he says as they arrive at Lisa’s yoga studio.</p><p>“Aren’t pit stops for rests and food intake during long drives?” Cas asks in his usually gravelly voice. Dean smiles to himself, Cas is such a dork it’s never not funny. “You can’t eat here.”</p><p>“You’re adorable,” Dean grins down at Cas’ frowny face. It looks hilarious when he’s a cat because it makes his long whiskers droop comically low. “It’ll just take a moment.”</p><p>Cas huffs but allows Dean to pick him up and take him into the studio. Sure, cats are probably not allowed inside but Dean isn’t going to take the chance of some animal control douche seeing Cas and assuming he’s a stray. He wishes Cas would just wear a collar but he’s not gonna have that conversation again. Just remembering Cas’ icy stare is making cold tendrils curl down his spine…</p><p>“Hey, Ms. Braeden, you in?” he calls playfully and puts Cas on one of the chairs lining the wall directly to the right of the door.</p><p>Lisa walks out into the main room the second later and gives him a big and beautiful smile. “Dean,” she says warmly and comes up to give him a hug as if they’re old friends.</p><p>Well, that one coffee had gone very well and he and Sam are always polite with her. She’s even met Jess in her human form and the girls got along from what Dean could see and that’s a score in Lisa’s favor as Jess is a great judge of character.</p><p>He hugs her back, perhaps a bit tighter than a friend would but he wants to alert her to his intentions. When they break apart she’s smiling up at him and there’s a knowing glint in her eyes that bodes well for Dean.</p><p>“What brings you here?” she says and walks over to the small reception desk in one of the far corners. “Not making an appointment for yoga, I presume?” she smiles cheekily at him when she catches him staring at her butt and he’s not even sorry. Those yoga pants are <em>tight</em>.</p><p>He leans on the counter with a cocky smile. “How about an appointment for a continuation of that coffee we had two years ago?”</p><p>She looks surprisingly pleased and Dean wonders why he didn’t just do this from the beginning. Well, that’s not fair, it wasn’t like he summoned a familiar <em>just</em> to bone it. Fuck Dean feels uncomfortable with himself all of a sudden. Cas is a <em>person</em>, not an <em>it</em>.</p><p>He glances over his shoulder only to see Cas sitting up straight like a freaking statue, staring at the scene before him. Suddenly Dean feels weird about bringing Cas to witness this. He should have just told the guy to go home without him, start dinner or something.</p><p>“I would love that,” Lisa says then and breaks off Dean’s train of odd thoughts. “How about dinner Friday? LongHorn Steakhouse?”</p><p>Dean straightens with another grin. This is going so great he damn near forgets about Cas’ laser stare.</p><p>“Woman of my own taste. Pick you up at seven?”</p><p>The smile she gives him is so sweet it carries Dean all the way home and through a spectacular hand job that in no way was weird because his thoughts were all on Lisa and <em>no one else</em>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Dean starts dating this Lisa Braeden woman and Castiel doesn’t know what to do with how he feels about that. On the one hand, good on Dean because Lisa seems like a delight. On the other hand, he kind of wants to scratch something, or <em>someone</em>.</p><p>Lisa is a woman in her early thirties, beautiful with thick flowy hair and a splendid smile. She’s also got a great rack, Dean informs Castiel rather bluntly and Castiel has to wonder what’s so great about her bosom. Objectively he would say that Jess has nicer breasts but he doesn’t voice this as it registers as “inappropriate” in his mind for some reason. He suspects it’s because most familiars feel like brothers and sisters to him. And Jess is involved with Sam, whom Castiel has started to look at like a brother as well so there’s that.</p><p>Lisa, on the other hand, is a human amongst many and he supposes he could covet her. But he doesn’t and it’s not because she’s with Dean. She just seems bland, no offence. She has a son, Castiel has been told on one of the many evenings Dean now spends talking about her. Evenings he used to spend teaching Castiel 21<sup>st</sup> century things or research magic but whatever, it’s not like Castiel is petty enough to be annoyed by the change.</p><p>Dean isn’t the first master Castiel’s ever had that developed a relationship with someone else. Out of his six previous masters one had a relationship with Castiel, three had relationships with others and Castiel was happy for them, one didn’t really have time to do anything because he died rather soon, and the sixth was the old man who spent his remaining years with his books.</p><p>The point is that this isn’t an unusual situation. What’s unusual is how Castiel feels about it. Like swallowing acid.</p><p>He thinks it’s because of his lack of enthusiasm that Dean hasn’t really invited Lisa or her son, Ben, to the house yet. He’s asked that Castiel meet Lisa in his human form, maybe at the shop, but Castiel has so far refused. And as he hasn’t given a reason for his refusal Dean is understandably annoyed about it but it’s not like Castiel can put into words how he’s feeling. He’s also taken to closing off the Empathic Link when Dean talks about or is near Lisa. Dean is more than annoyed about that too but at least he doesn’t pester Castiel about that like he does about meeting Lisa.</p><p>Castiel wishes things would be simpler so he could explain them to Dean but the fact is that Castiel hardly understands what’s going on. He’s got some ideas, though, but it’s been so long since he’s felt anything more than loyalty and brotherly affection for a master that he’s even unsure if that’s it. And to be perfectly honest, that one time he and his master had developed a relationship like Sam and Jess’ he had been so young as a familiar that it’s, in retrospect, difficult to say whether he had truly been in love or if he had just thought that that was how it was supposed to be. Really, when he had been summoned the second time he had kind of expected to fall in love again but that master had already had a spouse and Castiel had anyhow not felt attracted to her at all.</p><p>With the years Castiel has almost forgotten about his first master and how that had felt. True, seeing Sam and Jess has brought up some memories and he knows that Dean summoned him with at least sex in mind, aside from the normal familiar duties. But in the face of Dean’s enormous disappointment at him not being a female Castiel had all but cast such thoughts aside. And he really should keep them there, to the side.</p><p>Except Dean is kind of remarkable in his simple way and Castiel is fascinated by him. Jess has teased him for it and it’s felt like a fun pastime to observe Dean. But now, with Lisa in the picture, Cas is starting to yearn for his retirement again. He’s been having fun with Dean and has in actuality not been as upset about being summoned from his leisure as he’s been letting on. Now, though…</p><p>Castiel spends most of his time with either Sam or Jess because he can’t listen to Dean yap on about Lisa, and Sam is seemingly thrilled about that because out of Jess and Castiel, he is by far the better at spotting mistakes in the magical weave on items that are brought to the shop for repairs.</p><p>This is where Dean finds Castiel on the eve of Friday, week three of Lisa. He’s alone for now because Sam had to go take care of a customer, which makes Castiel a bit annoyed because if Dean did his part and stopped trailing after some skirt <em>he</em> would be the one in the shop and Sam and Castiel could have finished the work on this non-flying <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicItems/wondrousItems.htm#carpetofFlying">Carpet of Flying</a>. But he doesn’t mention this when Dean comes into the room, looking all happy and whatnot, because Castiel <em>isn’t petty</em>.</p><p>“So this is where you’re hiding?” Dean grins and actually reaches out to pet Castiel on the head.</p><p>He doesn’t do that a lot, especially after Jess apparently chewed him out for petting Castiel while he slept on Dean’s bed. Castiel feels a bit bad about that, though, because it hadn’t been as if he had hated it, he had just been startled by how it had made him purr. In actuality he would like it if Dean petted him more often, especially as casually as he is right now.</p><p>But since Castiel is mad at Dean for reasons he’d rather not think about, he slinks out of Dean’s reach instead and taps the carpet with his paw demonstratively.</p><p>“I’m not hiding, I’m <em>working</em>.”</p><p>“C’mon kitty, it’s Friday,” Dean says, still grinning and Castiel would call him a fool if it weren’t for how good he looks when he’s smiling like that. “Sam’s closing the shop soon and we’re taking Jess and Lisa out for a double date. I want you to come.”</p><p>“No you don’t,” Castiel states incredulously. “If you did you wouldn’t have referred to it as a <em>double date</em>. That implies two couples; I would be a third wheel. Or a fifth, as it were.”</p><p>Dean looks displeased for some reason but Castiel doesn’t care about that. He knows he’s in the right and Dean is either trying to humor him or being stupid and Castiel wishes he would stop.</p><p>“Fine but I want you to meet her.”</p><p>Castiel turns his back on Dean, pretending like he’s looking over the runes woven into the carpet. In reality he can’t really see them at all because his vision is blurry all of a sudden.</p><p>“I don’t want to and I don’t need to either. She’s not part of the magical community and I exist only for your magical needs, it would be foolish for us to mix together.”</p><p>“Hey, that’s not true,” Dean says, suddenly sounding angered. Castiel is still refusing to look at him and registers in the back of his mind that this actually could be interpreted as petty of him. Well, no one said he was perfect. “You’re my friend and I want my friend to meet my girlfriend, why is that so weird?”</p><p>“It’s not,” Castiel concedes because he can’t argue that logic, except it hurts a bit to be referred to as a “friend” and nothing else. Castiel is beginning to think he might have fallen for his master and that is a dangerous game, at least as long as the feelings are one-sided. “But I still don’t want to meet her.”</p><p>Dean sighs, loudly and obnoxiously enough to let Castiel know he’s being an ass. And for some reason it hurts that Dean doesn’t take his side in this, doesn’t at least acknowledge Castiel’s feelings. He supposes it’s his own fault for keeping the Empathic Link mostly closed, but still.</p><p>“Fine. If you don’t wanna get to know her then I guess that’s okay but could you at least come out and meet her as my cat? How ‘bout that, buddy? Let her pet you to show you’re not dangerous so I can invite her home?”</p><p>“Certainly not,” Castiel says, appalled. He turns back to Dean when the man reaches for him.</p><p>“C’mon, stop being an ass.”</p><p>“I’m not an ass,” Castiel slithers out of Dean’s grip but Dean is fast this time and gets a better grip before Castiel can dart off the table.</p><p>“You’re being obstinate, I just wanna be able to invite my girlfriend to <em>my</em> house without her freaking out about the stranger or strange cat that’s living there.”</p><p>“No, I don’t want to,” Castiel repeats louder and squirms viciously in Dean’s hands. Suddenly he feels suffocated and he needs to get out, get away from Dean. <em>My house</em> he had said, not <em>our house</em>, and technically he’s right but it still hurts. “Let me down.”</p><p>“Cas, you’re being weird.”</p><p>“Let <em>go</em>.”</p><p>“Cas—” Dean makes a sharp hissing sound when Castiel scratches him and he lets go of Castiel immediately. Being a cat, he lands on his feet, and then quickly darts under a nearby chest of drawers. “That fucking hurt.”</p><p>Dean examines his hand and Castiel’s little heart thumps wildly with the knowledge that he’s scratched his master. He <em>injured</em> his master. Even from this distance he can see the red welts from his claw marks and oh God, there’s blood. He’s made his master bleed. Castiel feels lightheaded with fear and shame. Dean would be right to banish him this second, if not outright kill him, but what has Castiel frightened is the sight of Dean’s blood. He doesn’t want to see that, he wants his master safe. Instantly he’s transported back to the days spent in that motel room in Dulac, watching Dean suffering from the Manticore bite.</p><p>Except this time it was <em>him</em>, <em>he</em> did this.</p><p>He wants to crawl out and take a better look at the wound, clean it for his master, lick it to facilitate healing, purr to make Dean happy. But he doesn’t get to do any of that before Dean lifts his head and stares down at Castiel with a sullen expression.</p><p>“Fine, if you don’t wanna meet Lisa <em>that</em> much then I ain’t gonna force you.”</p><p>Castiel’s ears flatten on his head and he looks down in shame. A second later he hears Dean’s work boots thump against the floor as his master leaves, obviously upset with him. He stays on the floor for a while but eventually emerges to turn human and start cleaning up the workbench. He’s feeling dejected and embarrassed and he wants Dean to come back here so he can have a look at the scratches. They had to have been deep if there was blood and he knows his claws are unnaturally sharp. Idly he starts searching for a <em>Cure Light Wounds</em> scroll but doesn’t get far before both Sam and Dean come into the room.</p><p>“We’re just gonna freshen up,” Sam says, obviously continuing a conversation from before. “We could meet you at the restaurant.”</p><p>Dean snorts as Sam gathers his things to take up to his and Jess’ apartment. “We ain’t holding off eating just so you can fuck.”</p><p>“Be cruder, can you?” Sam sneers and leaves with a quick wave and a smile directed at Castiel. So maybe Dean didn’t tell him what happened earlier, Castiel feels relieved about that.</p><p>Dean turns to the workbench only to find it already cleaned. When he looks up at Castiel he looks mostly surprised and not half as angry as Castiel would have thought. His eyes land on the <em>Cure</em> scroll and he frowns at it.</p><p>“It wasn’t <em>that</em> bad, Cas,” he mutters and Castiel’s insides churn unpleasantly. He puts the scroll on the table and goes to stand in front of Dean.</p><p>“Give me the key.”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>Castiel looks down. “The key to your house, I’ll wait there.”</p><p>“Sure,” Dean says but he says it slowly, as if he’s not clear on what Castiel is hinting at.</p><p>But Dean must want to dismiss him, right? And if he doesn’t want to do it right now, as his words with Sam indicated that he was hungry, then surely he prefers to do it at his home. It seems appropriate anyway, considering it was there that he summoned Castiel from the beginning. When he hands over the key Castiel sees the extent of his attack clearly. Four red scratches about one inch long on the back of Dean’s right hand.</p><p>“Hey, what’s going on with you?”</p><p>Castiel jerks at Dean’s words. “Nothing, have fun on your date,” he hustles out of there, unable to look at Dean anymore.</p><p>He’s never hurt a master before and he can feel how erroneous it is, his whole being screaming to right the wrong. But he’s also a coward and that’s why he ends up walking away from Dean in this moment, almost running when he spots Lisa out in the shop.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Dean stares after Cas for a while, completely fucking confused about everything. Cas has been acting so goddamn <em>weird</em> after Dean started dating Lisa, almost to the point of downright avoiding Dean. Hell, if Dean wasn’t <em>so invested</em> in Lisa he would be inclined to be jealous of Sam and Cas again. Because Cas certainly spends more time with Sam than he does Dean and come to think of it, Cas and Sam spend more time together than Sam and Jess does, that’s fucking weird. Only Dean supposes Sam and Jess get their fill of each other after workhours so that’s probably working out fine. Good on Sam for having two familiars at his beck and call.</p><p>Except one of those is supposed to be <em>Dean’s</em>.</p><p>He looks down at the <em>Cure</em> scroll Cas apparently picked out for him. He feels a bit better knowing Cas apparently felt bad about scratching Dean like that, now if he could only find out <em>why</em> Cas had done it…</p><p>He looks up as Jess walks in, smiling at him. “I told Lisa she could wait out in the shop for you but don’t keep her waiting too long.”</p><p>“That’s up to you and Sam,” Dean says but doesn’t manage to sound even half as cheerful as he was going for and of course Jess notices.</p><p>“If you don’t want to go out with me and Sam, you don’t have to,” she says kindly. Dean leans his rump against the table with a sigh. He doesn’t know what he wants anymore. “From what I gathered it’s rare for Ben to sleep over at his grandparents, maybe you’d rather have a quiet night in, if you catch my drift?” she wriggles her eyebrows in a move Dean definitely taught her but not even that gets him smiling.</p><p>“Nah, that’s fine.”</p><p>“You’re gonna waste a chance to get freaky without a child in the house? Are you ill?”</p><p>Dean feels uncomfortable admitting that he and Lisa haven’t slept together once yet. So far all they’ve been doing are some light kisses and hand-holding. He feels like a twelve-year-old. But the truth is that he’s just not feeling it yet. It’ll happen with time, though. It has to.</p><p>“No we’re looking forward to going out with you two, I want Lisa to get to know you,” he waves his hand in dismissal of the whole conversation and of course that draws Jess’ attention to his scratches.</p><p>“What happened?” she asks, sounding serious all of a sudden. “Did Cas do this?”</p><p>“He didn’t mean to,” Dean says confidently because he knows this to be true even without having felt the fear through their Empathic Link. “I tried to force him to meet Lisa, he got mad.”</p><p>Jess looks like she wants to say something about that but catches herself. “I’m sure they’ll get along soon enough.”</p><p>“I dunno about that, Cas won’t even meet with her,” Dean mutters petulantly. “He’s acting kind of…” he trails off when he finds that the only word he can describe Cas’ acting as is <em>jealous</em>. That certainly puts a new spin on things.</p><p>“What?” Jess asks when Dean’s been quiet too long.</p><p>“Hey, in the beginning when you’d just been summoned, before you and Sam got together, did you ever get jealous of him flirting with other women?”</p><p>Jess looks surprised for a moment but then gives the question serious thought. “Not immediately in the beginning, no. But if Sam had flirted with someone else when our relationship was in that between-time, then I suppose I would have been jealous, yeah. Not that Sam flirted a lot, or at all,” she grins cheekily and any other day Dean would jump on the chance to poke fun at his little brother’s lack of game but he feels like a man on a mission right now and that mission is Figure Out Why Cas Is Being Obstinate.</p><p>“What do you mean, between-time?”</p><p>“Well, you know how it’s pretty easy to admit to your own feelings to yourself?” Dean nods even though he thinks that’s a super hard thing to do. Hell, he’s even dating Lisa because he can’t deal with how he feels when he looks at Cas’ face for too long but he’s not telling Jess that. “Well the between-time is that time between realizing your feelings and telling the other person. You’re emotionally vulnerable because you want that person but since he or she doesn’t know that they can end up hurting you.”</p><p>Dean feels both hot and cold at the same time because if this is true and if it applies to them then Cas is maybe…</p><p>“But how could you hurt that person if you don’t even know how they feel about you?”</p><p>“Well, unknowingly of course,” Jess levels Dean with a somber look that makes Dean feel rooted to the floor. “For example, you could start dating someone else and flaunt that relationship for the world to see.”</p><p>Dean feels like he’s being crushed by stones and he lowers his head in confused shame. “But… but if you didn’t <em>know</em>…”</p><p>“And that’s why communication is important,” Jess puts a finger under Dean’s chin, raising his head to meet her shimmering eyes. “Communication and the courage to reach beyond your comfort zones.”</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. The break</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>“I think we need to break up.”</p><p>Lisa stops scrubbing the pan they had used to make paella in. She doesn’t turn around immediately and Dean doesn’t rise from where he’s sitting by the now clean kitchen table. In the background he can hear Ben playing while watching <em>Barney</em> on TV and he thinks he should have chosen a better time for this conversation. But it’s been eating him up from the inside and he can’t do this anymore.</p><p>Just remembering how dejected Cas had been when Dean had come home from that fucking double date is making his insides twist painfully. He’d spent a good thirty minutes talking Cas out of the basement, making him put down the spell book and step away from the old summoning circle. That Cas had even gone so far as to even <em>think</em> Dean would banish him for scratching him when it clearly had been Dean who’d been an ass is depressing enough that Dean’s had to rethink some of his actions. That, plus Jess’ words echo through him at all times now.</p><p>In any case, with all of this going through his mind he’s not in the right headspace to date Lisa. She’s beautiful and intelligent and deserves a man who will be completely devoted to her and her frankly adorable son. Dean feels like an imposter.</p><p>“Why?” Lisa asks eventually and Dean stands up to go to her because he can’t not when he hears how sad she sounds. He still cares for her, just not in the right way for this to work.</p><p>“Because,” he mumbles in a soft tone, gently touching her elbow. She looks up at him with eyes that are unfairly beautiful, and Dean feels ugly that all he does is think about Cas’ eyes even when he’s staring straight at Lisa’s face. “Because you deserve someone who loves you like a lover should. Not someone like me, who can only see you as a friend.”</p><p>She draws together her eyebrows, looks confused, and Dean almost wants to hug her but thinks that would be stepping over a line. Honestly he’s proud of how well he put his feelings into words and he doesn’t want to fuck it up.</p><p>“But we haven’t been dating that long, maybe with time…?”</p><p>He sighs a little and leans against the counter. “I… No, I don’t see it happening.”</p><p>Maybe he should tell her about Cas? No, that would be going too far, he’s not even sure what he’s feeling about Cas other than the man occupying his thoughts so much that it gets in the way of falling in love with Lisa.</p><p>“Is it because we haven’t had sex?” she asks with a tremble in her voice and Dean turns quickly to her, putting an arm around her and hugging her sweetly despite himself.</p><p>“No,” he states with emphasis. “No, definitely not.”</p><p>Well, it’s that a little but absolutely not in the way she seems to think. While she might be saddened that Dean would throw her away because she hasn’t put out, Dean bases this break-up mainly on two things. One, as previously stated, he can’t see her as a romantic partner. And two, he can’t have sex with her because every time they engage in anything remotely sexy all he can think about is Cas. Replacing Lisa with Cas, what would Cas sound like, look like? Cas is a man, how would that feel? Would Dean even be attracted to him or is he fooling himself?</p><p>Questions like these flitter through his mind on a daily basis and more so after his talk with Jess but he tries not to pay them too much heed. Except they’re hard as fucking hell to ignore when they pop up as he’s macking on Lisa. And when he opens his eyes to see that it’s not Cas under him on the couch, but Lisa instead, it kind of kills his erection.</p><p>And let’s not talk about his new masturbation habits. Let’s… let’s just <em>not</em>.</p><p>Lisa melts against him and he breathes a sigh of relief, interpreting her actions as a sign that she believes him.</p><p>“Can we stay friends?” he asks lowly, knowing full well that it’s selfish of him and too much to ask that. “I really like hanging out with you and Ben is so, so awesome Lis.”</p><p>She nods against his chest and sniffles loudly. “And our businesses share a street, wouldn’t want to make it awkward,” she says with forced humor and Dean’s heart stings painfully.</p><p>“Hey now, none of that,” he mumbles and pulls out of the hug, tilts her head up so that he can wipe away her tears. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>She smiles unexpectedly and it prompts a smile out of Dean too. “We barely lasted a month, this is probably the shortest relationship I’ve ever had.”</p><p>Dean’s smile widens even though his insides churn. “Are you bragging?” he lets her go when she pulls away to get some paper towel to wipe away the last of her tears. “You know, this is probably my <em>longest</em> relationship,” he says thoughtfully. “So I think we can both agree whose fault this is.”</p><p>She looks kindly at him. “It’s no one’s fault, you can’t force yourself to fall in love.”</p><p>He nods, feeling slightly less gloomy. “Thanks, Lis.”</p><p>She goes up to him and gives him a light peck on the cheek. “Now, I want us to be friends too but you’re gonna have to give me a while, okay? It’s hard to force yourself to fall <em>out</em> of love too.”</p><p>“Oh,” fuck Dean’s a fuckwad. “Sure.”</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>Dean doesn’t return home for another couple of hours. Oh, he left Lisa’s house pretty soon after they had finished their conversation but Dean felt so bad about everything that he’d holed up at his favorite bar, the Roadhouse, nurturing a beer for longer than necessary. He believes he did the right thing, breaking up with Lisa, but that doesn’t mean he has to feel awesome about it and he doesn’t.</p><p>When he comes home the house is mostly dark, only a lonely lamp shining in the hall. He knows Cas ate with Sam and Jess because Sammy texted him a picture of Cas hating on pickles again, but he still worries. Did Cas have a good time? When did he get home? Dean wishes their Empathic Link weren’t so closed off but more than that he wishes that Cas would just get a damn cellphone already.</p><p>He finds Cas on the couch, in cat form and snuggled up on one of Dean’s sweaters that he certainly doesn’t remember leaving here on the couch. As per usual, Cas isn’t really <em>sleeping</em>-sleeping and he lifts his head as soon as Dean stops by the couch, looking at Dean with those otherworldly eyes. Dean hasn’t turned on any other lights so it’s pretty dark since the lamp in the hall is mostly obscured from in here but with Cas this close Dean sees well enough.</p><p>“Sorry I’m late,” he mumbles, unsure why he’s excusing himself when Cas knew he had a date with Lisa. Perhaps because he feels like he’s somehow betrayed Cas. “I stopped by the Roadhouse after Lisa’s because…” he trails off, uncertain on how to word himself, on what he wants to put into words, or if he should even do this at all.</p><p>Cas tilts his head to the side. Dean doesn’t know if it’s a good thing or not that Cas remains in his cat form.</p><p>“Because?” he prompts after a moment and Dean feels little and shy.</p><p>“Can you not…” he sighs and goes to sit on the couch. “Can you just <em>not</em>, right now?” he scoops up Cas and puts the cat on his chest as he lies down on the couch.</p><p>Cas stumbles but thankfully doesn’t jump off. He shifts from paw to paw for a moment before lying down and curling up into a ball. Dean is reminded of how Cas slept on him when he had been injured in Dulac and he smiles a little to himself.</p><p>They lie still for a moment, both in suspense of the other’s actions, and then Dean lifts a hand and starts gently petting Cas’ back. He’s thrilled that Cas still doesn’t just jump off or berate him for the touch.</p><p>“I… I broke up with Lisa today,” it feels important that Cas knows. “It wasn’t like we had a fight or anything. I just thought we should,” Cas starts a hesitant purr that increases in both confidence and volume the longer Dean stays put, petting him. It makes Dean smile up at the dark ceiling. “Are you purring because you wanna comfort me or because you’re happy we broke up? Actually, don’t tell me, I like both options,” Cas’ purr changes pitch and Dean’s smile grows when Cas stretches out his front paws and starts kneading the meat on Dean’s chest. “I’m gonna pretend it’s both.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>The wolf launches itself into position to flank Dean with the only other remaining wolf of its pack. Castiel circles the three of them on the outside, the air in the forest saturated with the smell of burning fur and flesh. The cadavers of the two wolfs Dean had managed to kill with his <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/fireball.htm"><em>Fireball </em></a>spell are still searing and might attract unwanted attention. They need to finish this fight quickly.</p><p>Dean’s <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/mageArmor.htm"><em>Mage Armor</em></a> lights up momentarily as the wolf in front of him makes a sudden attack. Dean manages to dodge it well enough and fires off his gun against the wolf in retaliation. It dodges as well, big as it may be with its nine feet and 800 pounds it’s still incredibly quick. Castiel feels Dean’s magic sing as he prepares to cast a spell and Castiel’s innate abilities rush to support his magic, amplifying it.</p><p>The second wolf, the one behind Dean’s back, makes an attack of its own, going for Dean’s legs in a clear attempt at tripping him. Castiel’s heart lodges in his throat and he springs up, landing gracefully on top of the wolf’s giant head and sinks in his unnaturally sharp claws. The wolf yips in pain and leaps back as if that will help it. Castiel hisses and starts scratching at the wolf’s eyes for all he’s worth.</p><p>He’s sent tumbling when the now blind wolf manages to jerk its head so violently that Castiel loses his grip but he lands smoothly. Too close, though, he realizes as he sees the wolf’s maw open bare inches from his face. Suddenly there’s three loud bangs and the wolf barely makes a sound before it’s crumbling to the ground, dead.</p><p>Castiel looks up to see Dean standing over the wolf, gun pointed directly at it, and behind him the last wolf lies dead as well, corpse smoking like its pack members beyond it.</p><p>“The fuck, Cas?” Dean almost yells and his voice sounds strangely unsteady. Castiel scans what he can see of Dean’s body but can’t see any injuries that would make him sound like that. “These are <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/direWolf.htm">Dire Wolves</a>, be fucking <em>careful</em>.”</p><p>Oh, he’s <em>concerned</em>. Castiel almost wants to squirm and purr but manages to look dignified.</p><p>“He was about to trip you.”</p><p>Dean holsters his gun and combs one hand through his sweaty hair. “Yeah but still…”</p><p>Castiel walks up to Dean and arches his back the way he usually does when he wants Dean to pick him up. This time is no different and Dean doesn’t hesitate. Castiel starts purring despite himself when Dean just slings him half-way over his shoulder so that Castiel is left resting on it while Dean’s left hand cups his rump gently.</p><p>“Well done, master.”</p><p>Dean scoffs gently. “Guess I gotta go tell Ranger Johnson that I found and killed the monster wolves that’s been eating his town,” he mumbles and starts walking in the direction of the little town that had put out a reward in the newspaper for any hunter willing to take on the beasts.</p><p>Castiel enjoys the fact that Dean didn’t get hurt this time and leans against the side of the man’s neck. “Are you going to take the reward money?”</p><p>“Nah, we don’t need that. I’m gonna tell them to use it for the funerals.”</p><p>Castiel feels so proud of Dean that his purring increases and he feels Dean tightening the grip on his lower body, almost as a hug. Ever since last week and Dean’s break-up with Lisa something has shifted between them and though Castiel is nervous to address it and perhaps jinx it he feels happiness every time he thinks about it.</p><p>He also, in retrospect, feels incredibly ashamed of his behavior and reactions to the whole Lisa thing. He really has been unfair to her and he’s vowed that the next time they meet he will greet her in a friendly manner. Dean’s even said he would like that, just that they have to give Lisa some time. Castiel can understand that and he’s frankly just happy that Dean seems satisfied with Castiel’s decision.</p><p>Castiel does, however, realize that he needs to think about his actions and why he reacted like he did because if he doesn’t and something similar happens it could possibly create a rift between him and Dean and he definitely doesn’t want that. Dean’s told him that he broke up with Lisa because he didn’t see her as a romantic partner and didn’t think he ever would and Castiel has taken that to mean it had nothing to do with him or his behavior. But it the future it very well could and he doesn’t want to be in the way of Dean’s potential love life.</p><p>Well, to be <em>perfectly</em> honest he <em>has</em> thought about this and has come to the conclusion that he wants to be involved in Dean’s love life… but Dean dates women and though Castiel is skillful in many ways there is nothing he can do about his gender.</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>The next day Dean comes into the backroom at the shop with a wide grin and their Empathic Link positively swells with his happiness.</p><p>“Guess who’s coming to visit?”</p><p>Sam puts down the Divine magic texts he’s been reviewing with Castiel’s help. Jess hasn’t said anything to the brothers but she’s thrilled that both of them are slowly but surely learning under Castiel’s watchful tutelage. Even the Warlock Bobby has expressed positive emotions about this even though he’ll most likely lose two valuable customers. Castiel suspects that Bobby just wants Sam and Dean safe, though, since he was a friend of their parents and he likes that thought.</p><p>“Who?”</p><p>“Benny.”</p><p>Sam’s mouth immediately thins and Castiel tilts his head to the side, studying him as Dean bustles around the room, closing up shop for the evening and talking about what they can do when this Benny arrives. After a moment Jess glides in and lands on the table. She looks at Castiel in his human form and then turns human as well, perched at the edge of the table beside Sam.</p><p>“Who’s Benny?” Castiel asks after a moment of observing Jess stroking Sam’s arm soothingly.</p><p>“He’s my friend,” Dean says with enthusiasm. “He doesn’t live in Lawrence and he doesn’t come to town much.”</p><p>“He’s also a <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/vampire.htm">Vampire</a>.”</p><p>The mood instantly sours and Dean glares at Sam who only glares right back.</p><p>“That’s nice,” Castiel says conversationally since he doesn’t know what the obvious quarrel is about. “I look forward to meeting him,” he smiles when Dean looks at him with surprise and happiness.</p><p>“Really? You don’t mind that he’s a Vampire?”</p><p>Castiel shrugs casually and starts gathering the books on the Divine. “I don’t see why I would?”</p><p>“Because Sam’s being a prissy little racist about it.”</p><p>Castiel sees Jess tense and he knows the feeling. She might not agree with either brother or even care about the argument at all but no familiar likes to hear someone speak like that about their master, and especially not if they’re in a romantic relationship. Neither of them have time to speak, though, before Sam rises.</p><p>“Vampire isn’t a race,” he says icily and Dean’s glare returns.</p><p>“Speciesist, then,” he mutters and Castiel can see how this is an old argument.</p><p>“I don’t mind,” he says pacifyingly. “I’ve collaborated with Vampires before, at one point my current master was even working <em>for</em> a Vampire Lord for a while. Although I suppose times are different now.”</p><p>“They eat people,” Sam says but he doesn’t sound half as angry or stubborn when he directs his arguments towards Castiel as he does when he argues with Dean. The brothers are more similar than they care to admit.</p><p>“Actually they take nourishment from blood,” Castiel points out and Sam’s whole demeanor tells him that he knows that but that it wasn’t his point. Castiel smiles gently. “They don’t even have to kill anyone to do it, and animal blood is a good replacement for most.”</p><p>“See,” Dean says a bit too condescendingly for Sam to accept the argument right now. “Benny’s been sayin’ that since day one,” he adds, directed at Castiel.</p><p>“He fed on <em>your</em> blood when you met him,” Sam exclaims loudly and that fact makes Castiel uncomfortable. He can see on Dean’s face that his master has felt his discomfort through the Empathic Link.</p><p>“It wasn’t like that, Cas,” he’s quick to say and he steps around his obviously upset brother to put a hand on Castiel’s arm, just like Jess had done to Sam moments before. “We were stuck on the <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/planes.htm#planeOfShadow">Plane of Shadow</a>, there wasn’t much else around. He would have died before we found something he could eat.”</p><p>“And would that have been so bad?”</p><p>“I needed him to survive, you haven’t been to that Godforsaken Plane, Sammy.”</p><p>Castiel has and he’s not keen to return. “Why were you on the Shadow Plane in the first place?”</p><p>The air blows out of both Sam and Dean, for the moment. “Cursed item,” Dean mutters and Sam looks a bit contrite so Castiel can only suspect that what happened was because of negligence on both parts. Well, he’s here now so there will be no more of that.</p><p>“Well, if this Benny helped you out of there then he’s a friend in my book.”</p><p>Dean looks happy but Sam, in contrast, looks almost betrayed.</p><p>“<em>I</em> got you out of there,” he hisses and Dean looks annoyed. “He only helped because he wanted to get out too.”</p><p>“First of all, he helped <em>keep me alive</em> and second, <em>you weren’t there</em>,” Dean states in a definite tone and it’s clear that the involuntary trip to the Plane of Shadows rattled Dean, as well it should.</p><p>That Plane is no joke and even though the adventuring group Castiel had gone in with had been well-trained and experienced most of them had died anyway. It’s a testament to Dean’s ingenuity that he persevered, and if anything they should probably been thanking Benny the Vampire, even if he only helped Dean to help himself.</p><p>Sam deflates. “You’re right.”</p><p>“Damn straight I am,” Dean crosses his arms and Castiel reflects for perhaps the first time what bulging biceps his master has. Very strong arms and a broad chest. Very… very capable. “Now, are you gonna be obstinate or are you gonna have a good time with the rest of us when Benny comes?”</p><p>Sam makes a face but mumbles something about behaving. Jess throws Castiel an amused look over her master’s shoulder and Castiel can’t help but smile at the whole exchange. He’s finding himself looking forward to having dinner with Benny tonight and perhaps hearing and sharing some war stories about the Shadow Plane. Yes, he’s sure Benny is a nice guy to have caught Dean’s interest.</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>Castiel doesn’t like this. Not at <em>all</em>. Because Benny is funny and flirty and has a lot of skinship with Dean and <em>Dean doesn’t rebuff him</em>. This is worse than looking at Dean flirting with women or even when he was in a relationship with Lisa. Because Benny is clearly a <em>man</em> and even though Dean’s professed a love for the ladies he’s absolutely allowing Benny super close and Castiel finds himself grinding his teeth all through dinner.</p><p>Dean is even acting, for the lack of a better word, <em>coy</em> around the big bear of a man and now Castiel can see why Sam doesn’t like Benny. Dean isn’t normally coquette like this and it irks Castiel to see this side of his master.</p><p>No, scratch that. Scratch that very hard because it isn’t this new side to Dean that he doesn’t like. It’s the fact that it’s <em>Benny</em> and not Castiel who brings it out. It should be Castiel, he realizes now. Dean is absolutely adorable as he laughs and blushes at Benny’s jokes and Castiel wants to see more of that but he wants it for himself. Wants it in the quiet of <em>their</em> home, preferably as he seduces Dean.</p><p>Yes, there’s no denying or rationalizing his feelings anymore. He’s in love with Dean, period. And he wants to have sex with him, hard period.</p><p>The worst part is when Benny asks if he can crash at Dean’s house “like usual” <em>and Dean accepts</em>.</p><p>“That’s <em>my</em> room,” Castiel hisses as Benny goes up to get them another round of beers. Sam’s on the other side of the table, one arm around Jess’ shoulders and looking way too smug about this development.</p><p>“Aw c’mon Cas,” Dean smiles and slings his arms around Cas’ shoulders as well, hugging him tight for a moment. “You can just turn kitty and sleep in my bed. ‘S not like it’ll be the first time.”</p><p>For some reason that makes Castiel’s cheeks heat up. He blames Jess’ knowing smirk.</p><p>“Or stay human,” she suggests altogether too calmly. “Dean’s bed is big enough for two grown men, right?”</p><p>Sam chuckles and Castiel would very much like to know what the joke is about but Benny returns and Dean lets go of Castiel quickly enough.</p><p>“So, you wanna tell me how you two met?” Benny asks then, his Southern drawl making his words pleasantly smooth.</p><p>Dean blushes again. “He’s my familiar, Benny.”</p><p>Castiel blinks between the two men, just now realizing that they didn’t introduce him as such when Benny first arrived. Had he maybe thought that Castiel and Dean were involved? If so, why has he been acting so casually with Dean? Castiel squints at the Vampire with suspicion but all Benny does is laugh his hearty laugh.</p><p>“Oh man, I did <em>not</em> realize. I always thought Dean would have a cute woman, like Jess ‘ere,” he winks at Jess who smiles back. Castiel frowns at his words.</p><p>“Dean believed the same but a wizard’s familiar isn’t tied to preferences but to his magic needs. It just so happens that my magic abilities best compliments Dean’s.”</p><p>Benny looks surprisingly interested in this. Well, Castiel supposes anyone who knows about familiars but who are unable to summon one would be curious about it.</p><p>“Really? I always thought it had something to do with sex?”</p><p>Sam looks a bit shy to be talking about this subject so openly and Dean looks downright mortified. Jess, like Castiel, doesn’t have the same sense of modesty and besides, the restaurant they’re at is noisy enough that not many people can hear them without having to openly listen in on their conversations.</p><p>“On the contrary,” Castiel answers calmly and Dean obviously tries to melt through the floor. Why for, Castiel doesn’t know. “Sex is just a happy happenstance in some cases. And on even happier occasions a deeper bond such as love develops,” he smiles at the couple across the table and Sam leans down to kiss Jess on top of her head. “But it’s definitely not necessary for the master-familiar bond to stay strong.”</p><p>“Yeah, there you have it,” Dean interrupts when it looks like Benny is about to ask something more. “So how long are you staying in Lawrence this time?”</p><p>Benny’s mouth snaps shut and he looks between Dean and Castiel for a moment before smirking widely. “About a week, I’d say.”</p><p>Oh great, a whole <em>week </em>of having this man in their house, in Castiel’s room and his safe space. Well he supposes that it won’t be so bad to sleep with Dean, though. He’s been doing that on occasion ever since his master’s break-up with Lisa anyway and he likes it more than sleeping in his own bed. Dean’s warm and smells very nice and sometimes they get turned around in bed and ends up sleeping entangled and that’s probably the best Castiel’s slept in a while.</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>Benny actually decides to leave after only about five days and Castiel is secretly thankful. He thinks he’s managed to keep his jealousy to a minimum but he’s not sure and it doesn’t help when Jess keeps smiling knowingly at him. Plus, Dean’s been out practically every evening with Benny, going to different bars for drinks and whatnot. Castiel doesn’t even want to know. He’s just irritated that the happiness he felt when Dean gave him his own key to the house is tarnished by how he feels about having to use it because Dean is out with another man.</p><p>He doesn’t think that Dean and Benny are involved but he’s not sure and since he refuses to allow himself to ask Dean — mainly because he’s still ashamed of his behavior regarding Lisa — he’s left to wallow in uncertainty.</p><p>He thinks Benny is scheduled to leave tonight, though, so he takes comfort in that. Perhaps things will go back to normal once he’s gone. Although with how everything’s been ever since Castiel came into Dean’s life he wonders what normal actually looks like…</p><p>He’s just finished a final sweep of the shop in preparation for closing time when he hears voices coming from the backroom. He trots over and catches just the tail of the conversation.</p><p>“…out with your <em>lover</em>.”</p><p>It’s Jess who’s speaking and she says the word “lover” in a singsong voice. It makes Castiel pause mid-step and he frowns so hard his whiskers droop.</p><p>Dean shushes her violently. “Keep that shit to when we’re alone,” he sounds flustered and Castiel should feel bad for eavesdropping but he can’t find it in himself when Dean continues. “What if Cas heard?”</p><p>“Yes, what <em>if</em> Cas heard?” Jess repeats and Castiel can hear Sam chuckling.</p><p>Once again they’re sharing some kind of joke that Castiel isn’t privy to and he hates it. This has been going on for the entire time Benny’s been with them and he ought to ask what it’s about. His only comfort is that the Vampire doesn’t seem to know what the joke is about either. In fact, from what Castiel has seen he hasn’t even reacted to it.</p><p>“That’s not funny,” Dean counters and he definitely doesn’t sound amused. “And I don’t appreciate how you two have behaved lately. Let me fucking talk to him myself first.”</p><p>“I would if <em>you</em> would,” Jess counters and she sounds less amused all of a sudden. “Cas deserves to know.”</p><p>“I don’t even know what to say…”</p><p>“Look, Dean,” Sam sounds like he’s trying very hard to comfort Dean and Castiel frowns even harder. <em>He</em> should be the one to comfort his master. Though it sounds like some of Dean’s problems are regarding him and that makes him uncomfortable. He thought he had made amends for his behavior regarding Lisa. “Maybe lover is a strong word, but—”</p><p>“Would you fucking <em>stop</em> sayin’ that word?” Dean hisses angrily. “I’ll talk to him when I’m ready, okay?”</p><p>Castiel doesn’t stay to listen to any more because it’s all suddenly so clear to him. The way Sam and Jess keep saying “lover” and the way Dean keeps pressing for secrecy while they want him to tell Castiel something make it clear what this is about. It’s obvious to him now that Dean and Benny <em>are</em> lovers, or at least casual sex friends, and Dean doesn’t know how to tell Castiel because last time he got a girlfriend Castiel threw a conniption fit and scratched him.</p><p>No wonder he won’t tell Castiel if he has a new love interest or whatever Benny is to him. A convenient place to put his dick, perhaps? Castiel doesn’t really know and he doesn’t <em>want</em> to know. Because just as he feared at the beginning of the week; learning about Dean and Benny being involved is much worse than Lisa.</p><p>Dean dating Lisa Castiel can understand, he doesn’t have to <em>like</em> it but he understands. Because she’s a woman and has a womanly anatomy. But Benny is a man just like Castiel so obviously it’s not the man-thing stopping Dean like Castiel had thought. It’s Castiel.</p><p>Whether it’s his personality or his looks, something about him is throwing Dean off, seems unattractive enough that he won’t engage in sex or go into a relationship like Jess and Sam’s. Because Dean expressed in the beginning that he was bummed about not being able to have that with Castiel and Castiel’s been thinking all along that it’s been because of his sex. But he’s been so stupid, hasn’t he?</p><p>He snorts as he turns human to be able to operate the door and leave the store. <em>Of course</em> it’s because of him. From the very beginning he’s been stand-offish and grumpy. And then he behaved like an ass and scratched Dean. He still can’t believe his master refused to banish him but he supposes Dean still has use for his magic enhancing abilities. Perhaps Dean even hopes for them to be friends.</p><p>Although as friends they would be able to talk about Dean and Benny being an item, wouldn’t they? But Dean apparently doesn’t dare to because of Castiel’s general dislikable personality and Castiel’s got no one else to blame for that but himself.</p><p>The walk to the house is rather long but he barely notices, going on fumes from his anger and hurt. He’s angry at himself for getting himself in this mess and hurt by Dean keeping things from him and he wishes he could be happy for Dean and Benny but he <em>can’t</em>. He doesn’t want to. He wants Dean to be his and to stop looking that way at other people.</p><p>By the time he gets home he’s worked himself up to be mostly angry at how Dean goes around hopping from person to person when Castiel is <em>right there</em>. He glares at the Impala as he walks past her. Figures Dean would get home before him when Castiel had chosen to walk all the way. Still, the sight of the car makes him frown in confusion. Wasn’t Dean about to take his lover out for one last romp?</p><p>When he gets inside he’s met by Dean at the door and his master looks concerned, of all things.</p><p>“Where’ve you been?” Dean asks with a frown. “You shut me out of the Link, you know I can’t find you without it.”</p><p>“Why are you here and not on your date with Benny?” Castiel snaps, tempted to tell Dean to learn the <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/scrying.htm"><em>Scrying</em></a> spell, and Dean’s concern turns into confusion mightily fast.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>That’s right, Castiel is done running from this. He needs to confront his master, or he will never have peace of mind again. And Dean will just have to deal.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I did a cliffhanger but please don't hate me, I'll make it up to you, I <em>swear</em> 🤣🤣🤣</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. The change</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>“Why are you here and not on your date with Benny?” Castiel snaps and Dean’s concern turns into confusion mightily fast.</p><p>“What?” Dean doesn’t even know where the hell to begin when that question is thrown in his face by a decidedly pissed off Cas. Benny? Date? Date with Benny? <em>What</em>?</p><p>Castiel snorts and brushes past Dean into the living room. “You heard me, don’t keep your <em>lover</em> waiting.”</p><p>Oh so that’s what this is about? Dean’s gonna pluck every feather from Jess’ body. But first he has an obviously angry familiar to deal with right here. Or maybe angry isn’t the right word? If Dean didn’t know better he would say that Cas is acting more like a jilted boyfriend.</p><p>“Benny ain’t my lover,” he says angrily and in complete contrast to what he really wanted to say, or ask. Cas has his arms crossed over his chest when Dean enters the living room. “And what if he was? What’s it to you?”</p><p>“Nothing,” Cas states in a tone that clearly indicates that it’s everything to him and Dean is momentarily thrown for a loop. “And why wouldn’t he be? You’re clearly compatible.”</p><p>“Benny’s a Vampire,” Dean says offhandedly but that obviously doesn’t satisfy Cas’ temper. “And a dude, I don’t wanna get it on with him,” he ends that sentence on a low note, his mind distracted by the fact that he doesn’t seem to mind that <em>Cas </em>is a man too.</p><p>Cas squints dangerously. “First it was Lisa,” he says in a deadly tone. Dean stares at him with wide eyes. “No, even before her it was every woman we encountered who showed the least bit of interest. After that it was Lisa. And it was… it was fine,” he swallows hard and Dean can see that it wasn’t fine at all. “But if you’re having sex with someone like Benny then that means that you… that you could…”</p><p>“I’m not some kind of slut,” Dean snaps. “I’m not having sex with just anybody.”</p><p>“What if Benny had come here when you were still dating Lisa? Would you have been unfaithful to her? Or were you unfaithful to Benny by being with her?”</p><p>“What the fuck are you even talking about?” Dean nearly shouts. Cas isn’t making any sense and it’s freaking him out. He goes up to the other man, grabbing his shoulders to almost shake him. “I’m not having sex with Benny and I never will. And I couldn’t even have sex with Lisa because I kept thinking about <em>you</em>.”</p><p>Cas makes a small sound and Dean freezes when he realizes what he’s said out loud. “What?”</p><p>“Well, I mean…” Dean averts his eyes and let’s go of Cas, embarrassed by his outburst. “When I was making out with Lisa I kept seeing you instead of her and I couldn’t even get aroused, okay?”</p><p>“Oh,” Cas looks angry again when Dean looks up and what the actual fuck? “So thinking about my ugly face makes your erection wane, is that what you’re saying?”</p><p>Dean stares for a moment, baffled by the sheer stupidity of this whole conversation.</p><p>“That’s not what I’m saying at all!” he exclaims angrily but Cas just frowns at him. “I’m saying I can’t even get it up if I don’t imagine <em>you</em>,” he feels enough smug satisfaction at how surprised Cas looks that his embarrassment is quelled. “How do you think that feels? Imagining it’s you I’m kissin’ and feeling like the king of the world only to open my eyes and see someone else? See the woman I’m <em>supposed</em> to be into and feel my dick shrivel up because it ain’t you in my arms? Well it feels fuckin’ awful, Cas!” he shouts in Cas’ dumb face but doesn’t have time enough to feel the triumph of having the upper hand before Cas grabs him by his collar and hauls him close.</p><p>The kiss is rough and hard, their mouths pressing together so suddenly that their teeth clack almost painfully and Dean is too stunned to react at first. But then Cas shifts closer so that their bodies align, and he pulls out a fraction of an inch.</p><p>“Kiss me back, you ass,” he growls, and Dean feels arousal shoot down his spine, sharp and almost painful but so fucking welcomed that he does exactly what Cas is asking for.</p><p>He grabs him tightly, hands on Cas’ back as Cas cups Dean’s face, and this time when their mouths slide together it’s softer. Soft, soft, until the fever of arousal takes over and Dean groans deeply, turning their heads so that they can deepen the kiss and when Cas sneaks in his tongue Dean fucking melts.</p><p>It just feels so… so <em>much</em>. Dean is just now realizing that he’s perhaps never enjoyed kissing all that much. It was fine before but it’s never been like this. He’s also never kissed someone he’s been in love with and this realization hits him even harder than the first.</p><p>He’s in <em>love with Cas</em> and they’re <em>kissing</em>.</p><p>“Holy fuck, Cas,” he says in a cracked voice and Cas moans against his mouth, softly and full of want. “Holy <em>fuck</em>.”</p><p>“Don’t let go,” Cas says in a hushed voice and Dean shakes his head slightly before diving in for another knee-trembling kiss.</p><p>He doesn’t plan to ever let go of Cas but damn, he needs to sit down. So he puts his hands on Cas’ hips, nudging to get the man moving and then blindly maneuvers them around the couch. Cas continues to kiss Dean as if he’s starving for it and Dean’s whole body sings with arousal. He can feel his dick hardening, pulsing with the need for friction and it feels so goddamn good.</p><p>He swivels them around when they’ve gotten to the couch and Cas lets him pull out of the kiss with a disgruntled groan. Dean sits down on the couch with a shit-eating grin.</p><p>“C’mere kitty,” he says in a husky voice and half expects Cas to become irritated with the nickname.</p><p>Instead the man surprises him by climbing right the fuck on. Knees on either side of Dean’s hips, Cas straddles his lap as if he’s made to sit there and if Dean thought it would be weird to feel another guy’s erection against his own those thoughts fly out the window the moment Cas slots into position.</p><p>Cas throws his head back, hands gripping Dean’s shoulders tightly as he grinds down hard, and Dean can do nothing but moan in satisfaction at the much welcomed friction.</p><p>“Dean…” Cas groans, the sound of his voice going so deep it’s making Dean feel delirious.</p><p>“Fuck yeah, baby,” he mumbles and grabs Cas’ butt, groping him freely. “Fuck it feels so good, I’ve wanted this, I-I didn’t know what to do…”</p><p>When Cas shifts to focus his stunning eyes on Dean’s face there’s really nothing Dean can do to stop his dick from blurting out a healthy amount of precome. Fuck Cas looks perfect, it’s almost as if he’s shining with arousal.</p><p>“Dean,” he says again, this time with more intention. “I didn’t think I would want you in this way, couldn’t imagine it would feel like this with you. I’m completely overwhelmed.”</p><p>“<em>You’re</em> overwhelmed?” Dean moans through gritted teeth.</p><p>Cas is still grinding against him, almost riding him and fuck yeah, Dean wants that. Hell, even the mental image of Cas gloriously naked on top of him as he fucks himself on Dean’s hard cock is almost enough to throw him over the edge.</p><p>Cas spreads his legs a little wider and leans in so that they can kiss again. It’s getting sloppier and more heated and Dean loves it. His dick is aching, though, so he gropes around between them, desperate to get himself out of his jeans and perhaps to touch Cas too. He doesn’t really know what to do when it comes to sex with another guy but he definitely knows what to do with a dick so he figures he’ll take it from there. And hell, at this point he’s more desperate to step this up than he is nervous about the logistics.</p><p>“Open your pants, baby,” he says in a soft voice.</p><p>Or as soft as he can go right now with the arousal almost choking him. Cas seems to get it, though. He makes a satisfied little sound that Dean will treasure for a long time and swiftly does his best to get his jeans out of the way.</p><p>When Dean gets his dick out, he groans so deeply his throat hurts and he has to pause from kissing Cas to just lean back and stroke himself for a moment.</p><p>“So hard,” he hears Cas say with passion and he opens his eyes only to see Cas staring down at Dean’s dick. He’s got his jeans open but he doesn’t seem interested in continuing that. Instead he looks hungrily down at Dean’s dick and yeah, Dean’s both hard and leaking by now.</p><p>He slows his strokes, makes a show of it and Cas licks his lips. Fuck, he probably did that without thinking and it’s the hottest fucking thing Dean’s ever seen.</p><p>“You like it, baby?” he asks gruffly, still choking on arousal. “You like seeing me all hard for you? What do you wanna do to me, huh?”</p><p>Cas pins him with his intense stare just before leaning in and kissing Dean again. “All the things,” he says in a hoarse whisper against Dean’s lips. “I want to touch you, lick you, hear you scream for me. I want to see you come for me Dean, I want to own that moment.”</p><p>Dean’s whole body trembles and he almost rips Cas’ boxer briefs in his desperation to get to the other man’s dick.</p><p>“Fuck I never knew it could feel like this, Cas,” he moans desperately. Cas faceplants against Dean’s shoulder when Dean brushes their dicks together. “Never knew I could be <em>this</em> aroused, or–or feel all these things. Fuck,” Cas’ dick is hard and smooth. He’s leaking precome as well and it aids them when Dean grips them together and starts stroking.</p><p>“Dean,” he growls and arches his back sinuously. “Dean, you feel <em>so</em>…”</p><p>“Yeah, fuck yeah I know,” Dean turns his head so he can reach to kiss Cas on his head. His hair is fluffy even though it’s a little damp with sweat and Dean loves how Cas smells. “I want you so fucking much, can’t believe it but I fucking do, okay?” the want is swelling within him, his dick pulsing, and he’s groping Cas’ ass with his other hand even as he jerks them both off. “I’ve been thinking about it, ‘bout you naked and moaning for me. I want that, Cas. Want you naked in my bed, a mess and begging for my touches. Bet you’re gonna look fucking perfect hanging off my dick, can’t wait to… to…” Dean’s whole body locks up. “Fuck, Imma come, I—” he lets out a short, punched out shout as he comes. It feels like his balls fucking explode and the feeling of spraying both Cas’ stomach and dick with his hot come is so good on such a primal level that Dean almost blacks out.</p><p>“Dean,” Cas groans and squirms against him, bucking down a handful of times before he spills as well, adding to the mess between them and for someone who’s always proclaimed himself straight Dean sure as hell enjoys the fuck out of the feeling of Cas’ come coating him.</p><p>He strokes them slowly as Cas shudders through his orgasm, needing to stretch out the moment because Cas is absolutely fucking gorgeous.</p><p>“Kiss,” Dean mumbles, nudging Cas’ head with his nose and Cas immediately complies. Dragging himself out of his hiding spot, he kisses Dean sloppily, gripping him tightly. “Damn, Cas,” Dean says with amusement, his voice low and loving in a way it’s never really been before. “And all this because you thought I was fuckin’ Benny?”</p><p>Cas frowns but it’s not deep enough to be real anger, perhaps mild annoyance, and Dean takes pleasure in kissing it away.</p><p>“You’re not, right?”</p><p>“Baby, I haven’t been sleepin’ with anyone since I got you,” Dean smiles at Castiel and when the man straightens in his lap, Dean takes a moment to just kind of smear their softening dicks with sticky come. He loves that Cas lets him play with his dick because Dean needs to. Needs to adjust and adapt.</p><p>“So you were sincere? You didn’t lie with Lisa either?”</p><p>Dean looks up at Cas with soft eyes, sees in Cas’ blues that this is important to him, so Dean decides he has to be honest, <em>wants</em> to be honest.</p><p>“I tried. I wanted to. Or,” he smiles a little ruefully. “I wanted to want to because I was feeling an attraction to you that scared me and I thought having Lisa would lessen that attraction. But you wouldn’t leave my mind.”</p><p>Cas looks contemplating for a moment and Dean plays with Cas’ foreskin because he can. So soft, even with the drying come.</p><p>“And do you still want me to leave?”</p><p>Dean grins up at his familiar. The man is obviously trying to look unaffected, but Dean knows Cas well enough by now to know he’s on edge. And not the fun edge. He jostles them so that Cas tips forward and Dean takes advantage of that to kiss him.</p><p>“Do <em>you</em> want to leave?”</p><p>“I want you to clean me off in the shower. And then maybe mess me up again.”</p><p>Dean grins and Cas perks up at the sight of it. “And I wanna feel your dick hard for me again, wanna rub my dick against your tight ass.”</p><p>“And I wanted to sleep until it was dark enough for me to leave town but here we are.”</p><p>The two of them jump at the sound of Benny’s sleep-tight voice. Cas bristles at the intrusion and Dean feels a mix of mortification and smugness. Sure, having Benny catch them like this is a bit embarrassing and the fact that Dean is <em>just</em> figuring out that he’s into Cas, a man, is weighing on him, adding to his embarrassment. But he’s also smug because hell yeah, they had such awesome sex that they both woke up their house guest <em>and</em> forgot he was even in the house.</p><p>“Guess we were kinda loud, huh?”</p><p>Benny holds up his thumb and index finger. “A <em>little</em>,” he says in a pretend squeaky voice. “But hey, good on you. Anyway, I’m headin’ out tonight; you wanna stop by the Roadhouse one last time?”</p><p>Dean opens his mouth to accept because it would be nice but at the same time he feels Cas’ weight on him and likes it. He also remembers what Cas just said about the shower and he can’t help but think about all the other things a shower can lead to. And all other things still left unsaid between them.</p><p>“I think I’m good, I’ll catch you next time.”</p><p>Benny gives them both a once over and then a lecherous grin spreads across his face. “Alright.”</p><p>It’s all he says but Dean knows it means so much more and the acceptance that’s in that one word makes him feel like he’s floating.</p><p>And it’s even better when Benny walks out of the room and the Empathic Link positively explodes with how pleased Cas is. And when Cas bends down to nip Dean on the side of his throat, clean across his pulse, Dean can do nothing but groan softly. It’s a playful little nip that feels more loving than sexual and Dean treasures it perhaps even more for how it makes him feel and how their Link sings at the same time. Damn, if Cas was in his animal form right now Dean is sure he would be purring, and he loves that thought.</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>Dean can’t help but love how cuddly Cas is being ever since their impromptu confessions yesterday. So yeah, maybe they haven’t cleared everything up yet and maybe Dean is still a bit weirded out about the whole guy-thing but hey, at least they’re talking. And snuggling.</p><p>As they’re walking down the street from where they parked Baby Dean can’t help but smile at the memory of Cas as a cat sleeping in Dean’s bed like he had when Dean had been injured in Dulac. It’s really the best feeling and Dean can’t wait until Cas does it while human, although he appreciates that Cas doesn’t push for too much too soon.</p><p>Cas is a cat now, as usual, and Dean thinks for the umpteenth time that he doesn’t like it when Cas walks with his sensitive little paws on the pavement. He’s being silly but it’s hot outside and it’s probably scorching his paws and there could be glass. He grins when he thinks that hey, they’re kinda an item now, right? He should be able to touch Cas without feeling insecure about it.</p><p>So he stops to stoop down and gather Cas up and Cas… Cas just goes completely limp and fits himself in Dean’s embrace without any complaint. Sure, Dean’s been allowed to carry Cas before but that’s mostly been when Cas has wanted to, this time it’s Dean that feels an almost ridiculous need and he’s happy that Cas lets him. It’s almost equivalent to holding hands, Dean thinks.</p><p>“Look kitty, you can fit in my palm,” he chuckles as he gathers Cas’ back paws in one hand, resting Cas’ rump against his arm and spreading the fingers of that hand across Cas’ tiny little chest to keep him steady.</p><p>Cas lets his front legs hang and he partially wraps his tail around Dean’s arm. “I like this.”</p><p>Dean feels ridiculous in that way that again and he grins to himself as he keeps walking. “It’s almost like you’re flying,” he says with mirth and lifts Cas in a swooping motion. Cas laughs and then starts purring, kneading the air for some reason that’s too fucking adorable to question. “You’re so cute when you purr, it’s funny.”</p><p>“Don’t push your luck.”</p><p>Cas keeps purring, though, and Dean’s just happy that he didn’t blurt out how he thinks it’s more arousing than amusing. That’s a secret he’s taking to the grave, thank you very much.</p><p>“Mommy, look!”</p><p>Both Cas and Dean turn their heads when they hear a little boy call out. They’re just a few steps from the shop but when Dean sees that the boy is staring up at Cas with incredulous eyes he stops and smiles down at him.</p><p>“Do you wanna pet him?”</p><p>The woman holding the boys hand smiles indulgently when Dean looks up at her for approval. The kid goes ballistic and Dean’s smiling like a dork when he feels Cas’ amusement through the Empathic Link.</p><p>“Wassis name?” the boy asks as he reaches out a chubby little hand.</p><p>“Cas,” Dean smiles gently. “And he’s super nice, ain’t you Cas?”</p><p>“Incredibly,” Cas answers dryly and the woman gives a short laugh.</p><p>“It’s almost as if he answered you.”</p><p>“Yeah, Cas is real chatty,” Dean chuckles as Cas turns his head into the boy’s careful touches. “Feelin’ good, kitty?”</p><p>“Don’t disturb me.”</p><p>The boy is practically vibrating with joy and his mother seems to melt as well, giving in to her son’s pleading and petting Cas for a moment too before they bid Dean a good day. He waves them off and when the woman isn’t looking Cas waves to the boy as well, making him shriek with delight.</p><p>“You’re actually a big softie, aren’t you?” Dean asks as they enter the shop, feeling all warm inside with happiness like nothing he’s ever experienced before.</p><p>Cas just purrs and Dean’s about to call him out on it when Sam pops out from behind a shelf and gives Dean a spontaneous heart-attack. Cas, in turn, jumps high into the air and lands on his feet on the floor, his tail puffed out to twice its normal size.</p><p>“I’ve been waiting for you two,” he looks between them, frowning at their half-frenzied state. “What are you doing?”</p><p>“You scared the crap outta me!” Dean shouts, feeling all winded.</p><p>“I called out your name,” Sam states with a disapproving tinge to his voice. “What the hell were you doing?”</p><p>Dean refuses to tell his little brother that he was so absorbed in being in love with Cas that he kinda forgot his surroundings for a bit. Sure, he has to tell Sammy, and definitely Jess since she’s been all up his business about it since he had that talk with her, but he wants to do that on his own terms. He hopes Cas understands and by the look of his suddenly very poofy familiar he thinks Cas might be on the same level.</p><p>“Whatever, why were you waiting for us?” Dean asks in the most unaffected manner he can muster, which hardly seems convincing.</p><p>“Oh. This,” Sam holds up his iPad, the screen showing a newspaper page. Dean scans the headlines for all of 0.01 seconds before realizing what Sam is hinting at.</p><p>“Three dead after hearing voices?” he mutters and takes the iPad to read the full article. It speaks of sane people going insane in mere days, some screaming about voices telling them things that frighten them, one woman actually jamming a screwdriver in her ear to stop said voices. “The fuck?”</p><p>“Could be anything,” Sam mumbles as they walk into the backroom. “There are a lot of monsters that deal in mind control.”</p><p>“But is hearing voices the same as having your mind taken over?” Dean asks thoughtfully. “This article doesn’t say anything about them going around doin’ weird shit before offing themselves.”</p><p>“Could be they won’t put that in the article?” Sam suggests as they stop by the table in the back. Sam has already packed Dean’s duffle with whatever he thinks Dean will need on a trip like this and Dean can’t help but smile at Sam’s eagerness. Sometimes he thinks Sam misses the hunt, just a little. “In any case they interviewed Hank Doursey, his fiancée was the last to die. So far.”</p><p>Dean nods and checks his duffle once, more out of habit than anything else. “So we start with Hank then, do our own digging.”</p><p>Sam nods too and goes to squeeze Dean’s shoulder. “Just be careful, okay? Hearing voices to the extent that you wanna kill yourself is nothing to belittle.”</p><p>Dean snorts. “When have I not been careful?”</p><p>He leaves the backroom before Sammy can pull out his extensive list of Dean’s Dumb Decisions and heads out to find his familiar. Cas is sitting with Jess, clearly having a conversation which is weird as fuck to Dean since he can only understand half of it when Jess is in her animal form. In any case the conversation breaks off when he comes closer and he thinks Jess is smirking at him. It’s hard to tell because how the fuck do you smirk with a beak? Nonetheless he eyes her a little suspiciously before picking up Cas for no other reason than wanting to.</p><p>“Come on, kitty, we’ve got a town to save.”</p><p>Cas doesn’t say anything, just kind of leans his head against Dean’s shoulder and sighs a little contently, making Dean’s stomach fill with butterflies.</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>The best part about the barely four hour drive to Des Moines, Iowa, is when Cas forces Dean to stop by the side of the road so that he can jerk off Dean because he “suddenly felt like it”. Dean is a puddle of goo by the time they sidle up by the closest motel in Des Moines and he repays Cas’ kindness with a handy job of his own, making Cas arch and moan on the king sized bed.</p><p>He kind of wants to do more, wants to touch Cas other places and wants them both to be naked. But he’s a chicken shit who can’t even get the words out of his mouth and when Cas kisses him, he anyhow forgets just about everything.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>After some dealings with the local police and a few interviews that Cas handles very expertly they both agree that it’s probably not a monster roaming Des Moines. More likely is that either these people really went insane or it’s some dark magic afoot. “I swear, it was like she was possessed.” Mr. Doursey claims when Cas levels him with his patented glare. “She was just goin’ on and on about me cheatin’ on her but I <em>didn’t</em>.”</p><p>“Didn’t you?” Cas asks with emphasis and if Dean wasn’t so distracted by how fucking delicious Cas looks in a suit, he would tell his familiar to tone it down a little. But he <em>is</em> distracted because holy fuck, that ass is tight, and it anyhow doesn’t matter because Cas’ insinuating tone and accompanying glare makes Mr. Doursey squirm and hang his head.</p><p>“Yeah, I did,” he admits with the aura of a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “But I dunno how she heard about it!” he adds, all flustered as if he’s got any right to be.</p><p>His fucking fiancée offed herself because she confronted him about his infidelity and they had a big fight, at least that’s as much as Dean’s gathered of the situation and the police reports and he kind of hates Mr. Doursey now.</p><p>“I think we’re done here,” he states crisply, not catching Cas’ questioning eye as they walk out of Mr. Doursey’s house, the man following them and doing his best to rationalize his behavior. Dean’s not having any of it, though, and thankfully Mr. Doursey doesn’t follow them to the curb.</p><p>“Fucking asshole,” Dean mutters when they enter the privacy of the Impala. He grips the steering wheel tightly for a moment before turning to Cas. “I’ll never cheat on you, okay?”</p><p>Cas looks taken aback with the sudden change in topic but his confusion turns into a sweet smile fast enough. He reaches out and strokes Dean’s cheek gently, letting Dean feel through their Empathic Link just how happy he feels. Dean wishes they were alone, preferably in their motel room, because he kind of wants to kiss Cas silly. But they’re not and they have one more stop for the day before he can touch Cas like he wants to.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The morgue in Des Moines is just as depressing as all the other morgues Dean’s ever been to, granted it hasn’t been all that many since his hunting mostly takes him into forests or widespread hills, but he’s been around. He’s just happy that the fake FBI badges Bobby’s made for them work because he’s never been a master of spells that can control minds or shape people’s perceptions. For work like this he relies on good old con artistry and he’s happy that Cas seems adept at it as well.</p><p>The corpse of Fran Nuñez — soon to become Doursey hadn’t fate struck — shows great trauma around the head, just like the police report had stated. A closer look at the coroner’s report gives the cause of death as blunt force to the skull. Cas is looking closely at the wounds, trying to figure out if they really were self-inflicted like everyone says and Dean is rifling through her stuff.</p><p>“Why would she kill herself, though?” Dean mumbles thoughtfully. “I mean, sure she was upset that Hank the hunk over there was cheating on her but is that enough?” he picks up a pair of earrings and a necklace with either a locket or a medallion on. Swanky stuff.</p><p>“To some it might be,” Cas answers calmly. “But in this case I think it was more the fact that she was very convinced of his infidelity and he still denied it.”</p><p>“So the fact that he wouldn’t take her seriously pushed her over the edge?” Dean puts down the earrings to examine the necklace. He fiddles with the side but can’t see an opening so it’s probably just a thick medallion, then. It’s got some interesting markings on it and he thinks he recognizes them but can’t place them. Could just be some random mumbo-jumbo, though, to look cool.</p><p>“There were also these strange voices, maybe they were the ones to push her?”</p><p>Dean hums thoughtfully, thinking that might be it. Like, sure if Cas cheated on him Dean would be devastated because he’s the kind of guy that goes all in when he’s in love but he wouldn’t off himself. Although, as he thinks about it, he realizes that he’s never been in love with someone like he is with Cas so maybe that would be the difference. Cas is just so much <em>more</em>, he thinks with a smile on his lips. Hot and intelligent, funny too. And fucking hell, he’s <em>so fucking hot</em>. If Dean didn’t think it would be in bad taste he would fucking push Cas down on one of the examination tables right here and have his way with him. Yeah, it feels really liberating to finally be able to admit these things to himself, to embrace all the emotions and images.</p><p><em>“Could suck him,” </em>he thinks distractedly while he fingers the medallion’s markings. He’s never sucked off a dude before because he’s never wanted to, but he totally wants to suck Cas off. <em>“Bet he tastes sweet.”</em></p><p>And God, Dean wants to taste all of him. He’s eaten out women before and he’s always liked that so he can’t wait to try that with Cas. Sure, he’s nervous about this whole man-on-man thing but he’s safe with Cas and he knows that. Suddenly all he can think about is taking Cas back to their motel room and spread him wide for Dean to eat out his ass. Rim him good.</p><p>
  <em>“Bet Cas would sound so fucking good.”</em>
</p><p>Dean is chubbin’ up in his nice dress pants just thinking about it and he reaches down to adjust himself. He’s got to get a grip, though, gotta get this examination over and <em>then</em> he can—</p><p>“Dean.”</p><p>He turns his head at the strangely strangled sound of Cas’ voice. “What’s up?”</p><p>One look at Cas’ face makes Dean swallow hard. He looks absolutely delectable, all flushed cheeks and hooded eyes.</p><p>“That medallion.”</p><p>“What? Oh yeah, I found it in Fran’s belongings, what of it?”</p><p>Cas crosses the room and all but slaps it out of Dean’s hand. “It’s cursed.”</p><p>Dean frowns down at the innocent looking necklace. Last time he had touched a cursed item he had been ripped from the <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/planes.htm#materialPlane">Material Plane </a>and deposited on the <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/planes.htm#planeOfShadow">Plane of Shadows</a>. This time nothing had happened, right? Well, he is <em>super</em> aroused just thinking a bit about Cas, so maybe there’s some kind of aphrodisiac component to it?</p><p>“Cursed how?” he asks carefully. Cas leans down to squint at the markings.</p><p>“These runes, they’re warped…”</p><p>“Yeah I thought I recognized them but they look weird,” damn Cas smells good, Dean just wanna bury his nose in Cas’ hair and fucking jerk him off. “Sex pollen?” he blurts when Cas gives him another intense stare.</p><p>“This is supposed to mimic a <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicItems/wondrousItems.htm#medallionofThoughts">Medallion of Thoughts</a>,” Cas states with confidence.</p><p>“The one that gives the bearer the ability to read thoughts?”</p><p>“The same,” Cas points with his little finger, very careful not to touch the medallion with his bare skin and Dean suddenly feels like a chump for making such an easy mistake. “But this line here, see where it splits off, creating a whole different starburst here? This is a <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicItems/cursedItems.htm#medallionofThoughtProjection">Medallion of Thought Projection</a>.”</p><p>There’s a moment of pause in which Dean’s mind blanks out. “You mean…?”</p><p>Cas coughs and fiddles with the edge of the table. “It means that whoever wears or touches this medallion can be subjected to the medallion’s treacherous lies, which could explain the sudden suicides. And also… Well, it can project your thoughts,” he deadpans and Dean feels rooted to the spot.</p><p>“What?” he squeaks, completely mortified.</p><p>“I have to say,” Cas smiles to himself, suddenly very smug. “I didn’t know you fantasized about doing such things to me, I’m flattered.”</p><p>Now Dean’s both flabbergasted and mortified. “How do we turn it off?” his voice is still too squeaky.</p><p>“Well, either the person cursed will kill themselves or otherwise die, or we destroy the medallion.”</p><p>“We’re doing that,” Dean states loudly and grabs the medallion, curse be damned because he’s apparently already caught it. “We’re doing that right the fuck now,” he can’t let Cas hear all his dirty thoughts and fantasies, he’ll never live it down. Hell, Cas will probably leave him if he knew everything Dean wants to do…</p><p>He’s stopped mid-step when Cas puts a hand on his arm. “But Dean,” his voice is low and husky, his eyes dark in a way that makes Dean shudder pleasantly. “I like your fantasies.”</p><p>Oh shit.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Lol I did it again, <em>another</em> cliffie, what's up with me and this fic?!<br/>Anyway, I hope you feel satisfied that we're getting somewhere in the relationship and allow me to give you a spoiler for ch 8 as compensation for this chapter ending: get ready for all the sex and feels 🔥🔥🔥<br/>Toodeloo! 💖</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. The sex</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry about the late post, and the uninventive title lol<br/>I love you and I hope you'll have as much fun with this chapter as I had writing it and as the boys will have experiencing it! 💖</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>Dean’s still mortified by the time they’ve destroyed the medallion and gotten back to the motel. He can barely look at Cas, who’s for some reason treating this with immense amusement and an unhealthy dose of smugness.</p><p>“It’s not the end of the world, Dean,” he says matter-of-factly when Dean stops by the bed and rakes his hands through his hair. “I told you I liked hearing it.”</p><p>“Yeah?” Dean huffs and starts tearing at his stupid tie. “How would you feel if I suddenly heard all your thoughts?”</p><p>One could argue that they already have the Empathic Link but the truth is that it’s different in two key ways. One being that it only shares emotions you choose to push over at the other person and two being that <em>it can be shut off</em>. Having that fucking medallion broadcast Dean’s every thought feels like a breech to his integrity.</p><p>Well, he pretends he’s upset about that but what he’s really upset about is Cas hearing all that sex stuff. And Dean can’t even blame it on some sex curse because there hadn’t been one and it had all been him and oh God, Cas knows now… Dean scrubs his hands down his face as if that’s gonna wash away the mortification.</p><p>“I would probably be embarrassed,” Cas answers Dean’s question with a shrug. “But in a way it would be nice to have you know all the things I’m too tongue-tied to tell you.”</p><p>Dean turns around and looks at Cas’ side profile and it’s clear that Cas is making an effort to look neutral but that he’s not.</p><p>“Do… do you have things you can’t tell me?”</p><p>Cas make a little face as if he’s about to say something but then he sighs and turns to look at Dean dead on. “No, but I think you do.”</p><p>Dean swallows because yeah, he does. “I… Look, I don’t wanna scare you off, okay?” he says it too gruffly, turning away from Cas and continuing to undress. “We’ve done stuff and I liked that but I wanna do more, okay?”</p><p>“Dean,” Cas sighs and sits at the foot of the bed. “It may have been about 400 years since I last had sex but I’m not a blushing virgin. Plus, time floats differently in the familiar dimension, it’s not been an <em>actual</em> 400 years.”</p><p>Dean blushes for reasons unknown. “But, some of the stuff I wanna do with you…” fuck, his dick is perking up just thinking about it and now that the floodgates have opened, he just can’t seem to stop. “<em>I’m</em> new to them.”</p><p>Cas makes a small sound of understanding and he comes to stand beside Dean, his hand ghosting down Dean’s arm and fucking hell, Dean just wants to hug the man.</p><p>“It’s okay if you don’t want to proceed with a sexual relationship, Dean. If me being a man is turning you off,” he says softly, and Dean can barely focus on the words because he can feel Cas’ breath and fuck he smells good. “We can have a romantic relationship without it or,” he clears his throat and looks away, which makes Dean clock into the conversation again. What’s this about no sex? “Or we can go back to just being friends…”</p><p>“No!” Dean turns and grabs Cas forcefully, pulling the man up against his chest and kissing him with everything he’s got, desperate to pour every need and want into the kiss. Cas moans and grabs at Dean’s shirt, rucking it up in the back to get at Dean’s skin.</p><p>“Sorry,” he breathes when they break apart. He smooths down the shirt again. “You get me riled up.”</p><p>Dean’s insides feel like they’re on fire. “Fuck I want you, baby,” he murmurs, hands coming up to cup Cas’ face. “You heard me back in the morgue, I want all that with you but…” he swallows and takes a step back, insecurity settling low in his gut. “I’ve never been with a guy so I don’t know…”</p><p>Cas tilts his head to the side. “Don’t know what to do? That’s okay, I do.”</p><p>Fuck, Cas is so much cooler than Dean. Dean feels like a little kid. “I can’t be the neko,” he blurts and Cas looks confused as fuck. Dean doesn’t blame him. “Or the uke, I-I mean—fuck those are yaoi terms,” he’s a fucking mess. He takes a deep breath, taking another step back to sit down on the bed, scrubbing his face again.</p><p>Cas comes to stand in front of Dean, close enough to touch without touching. “I don’t understand.”</p><p>Dean winces at his inability at expressing himself. Maybe Cas was right and thought projection isn’t all that bad in situations like this…</p><p>“It’s Japanese.”</p><p>“I know,” Cas smiles kindly and reaches out a hand. Dean takes it without hesitation and loves how Cas brushes his thumb across Dean’s knuckles. “I know Japanese, but that’s obviously current slang and I haven’t caught up.”</p><p>“You know Japanese?”</p><p>Cas blinks in confusion and Dean can’t blame him with this sudden change in topic but hell, he wants to know.</p><p>“I know every language,” Cas states as if that’s obvious and doesn’t blow Dean’s mind. “There’s no telling where my master will be from or what language they’ll speak, I have to know them all,” he smiles when he obviously sees Dean’s stunned fucking face. “But as with American English I haven’t caught up with the slang. For example, I know neko means cat but I’m pretty sure you’re not referring to the animal in a conversation about sex.”</p><p>Dean blushes so hard his cheeks hurt and he looks down again. “Yaoi is men-on-men sex stories. I might have read some to… to understand it. It felt easier, you know? Because they’re drawn pictures and not actually real…” that just sounds ridiculous when he says it out loud. “Anyway, the neko character is the, um, the one who…” he swallows and feels like a fucking idiot. They’re both adult and they’ve both had sex before, what the hell? “The one who takes it up the ass and I can’t—I just can’t…”</p><p>And that’s it. That’s why it’s so hard to say it because what if Dean denying Cas this makes Cas leave him? Maybe Cas wants to top and he can’t imagine himself being penetrated either? What the fuck do they do then? A sexless relationship, Dean supposes, and feels reassured that Cas suggested just that only a few minutes ago. It makes him think Cas won’t actually leave him over something like this.</p><p>He looks up when he hears Cas chuckle softly.</p><p>“So you want to take me instead, is that it?” he says and fuck, his voice just dropped two octaves. When Dean straightens, Cas takes it as an invitation to straddle Dean’s lap. One knee at a time, he moves in so sensually that Dean <em>has to</em> grab his ass as soon as he’s seated. Cas leans in so that he’s speaking against Dean’s slightly open mouth. “You want me begging for your fat cock to fill me up? Press me down on the bed, trap me with your weight and press inside, hard and hot all for me. Is that what you want, master?”</p><p>Dean’s two fucking seconds away from creaming his pants just thinking about it.</p><p>“Cas…” he flexes his hands on Cas’ tight ass, pulling him tighter and making Cas smirk when he feels Dean’s hard dick.</p><p>“I don’t mind, Dean. I want it any way I can get with you, as long as it’s with you I know it’ll be amazing. And besides,” he leans out and smiles a little more playfully. “Me being a cat it’s pretty fitting for me to be the ‘neko’, don’t you think?”</p><p>Dean can’t help but grin up at his beautiful familiar. “You proud of that? Even using air quotes and everything.”</p><p>“Well I do love me a good pun now and then.”</p><p>Dean laughs and tips them so that they can roll over and Cas ends up beneath Dean just like he had said.</p><p>“Thank you for making me feel okay about this,” he murmurs against Cas’ neck, kissing lightly.</p><p>Cas puts one hand on Dean’s neck and takes Dean’s hand in the other. “Of course, Dean. I want to be close to you, as close as two people can be, and if you want to do it like this, I’m more than okay with it. I’ve fantasized about both and it’s been equally pleasing.”</p><p>Dean kind of doesn’t want to leave his hiding spot because Cas smells awesome but he has to pull out to look at Cas now. “You fantasize about us?”</p><p>Cas smiles a positively devilish smile. “I do. More so now that we’re actually together.”</p><p>Dean likes that, he likes it very much. “And… and you touch yourself?”</p><p>“I’ve always touched myself, why do you think I use so much of your hot water?”</p><p>Dean feels his dick jump in his dress pants and he knows Cas can feel it because he grins up at Dean.</p><p>“No way…”</p><p>“But if you’re asking if I’ve been touching myself since we got together then yes. I’ve wanted to have sex with you, but I wanted you to feel comfortable with me and I know you haven’t had a man for a partner before. I didn’t want to scare you away by being too eager.”</p><p>“Fuck, baby,” Dean murmurs, completely overcome with <em>feelings</em>, of all things. He pushes them across the Empathic Link and enjoys seeing the change on Cas’ face when he feels it. Feels all the love Dean has for him and the willingness he has to do this. No, not willingness, <em>carnal need</em>. “Teach me all the things I don’t know, Cas.”</p><p>Cas pulls him in by the grip he has on Dean’s neck, kissing Dean deeply and making his head swim again. Fuck, Cas is good at kissing.</p><p>“Have you had anal sex before?” he asks in a hush and Dean shakes his head minutely. “Stay here and get undressed, find some lubrication, play with yourself. I’m just going to wash up.”</p><p>Dean nods, overtaken by how much he likes hearing Cas tell him what to do. Dean likes to think he’s an alpha male in general, but he feels like a gooey mess when Cas’ grip on his neck tightens and he pulls Dean into another kiss. And he fucking loves it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Cas takes some time in the bathroom and Dean goes a little crazy thinking about Cas touching himself in the shower because it makes him think of Cas jerking it in their home and fuck, that’s so weirdly hot to think about. Cas is such a stoic creature, if Dean didn’t know better, he would almost call him asexual. But he's clearly felt Cas' sexual attraction to him, and this just goes to show that Dean shouldn’t judge a book by its cover and he definitely shouldn’t believe he knows anything about sexualities.</p><p>Because he’s so fucking hard for Cas and he didn’t even know he could get it up for a man. It’s honestly freaking Dean out a little. Well, he’s been low-key freaked out ever since he realized he wanted to kiss Cas but that’s something else. Something about their fragile friendship being rocked and about Cas being his familiar and they still have to maintain a professional relationship because Cas can’t exist on this Plane without being a familiar to someone. So… so if they fuck this up and they can’t even stand to see each other, and Dean banishes him, then that probably means they’ll never see each other again because there’s no guarantee Dean will get Cas if he tries the summoning spell again.</p><p>So yeah, there’s been all that too. But right now his stomach is fluttering at the thought of being inside Cas and fuck, he wants it so much.</p><p>The first time they did anything like this, back in the living room at home, Dean had thought he’d kinda been in charge. Cas had been all pliant and gasping and Dean loved it. But this time it feels different and he doesn’t know what it means. Maybe it’s because Cas is sensing that Dean is nervous about penetrative sex and he’s taking charge because he thinks that will calm Dean down.</p><p>Well, that’s actually truer than Dean cares to admit, but the thing is also that Dean’s into Cas being dominating for a whole other reason than just the feeling of safety. Because yes, he feels safe in the knowledge that Cas knows what he’s doing and he won’t laugh at Dean but damn, it’s also so fucking hot the way his voice just kind of drops and he looks at Dean with this intensity that makes Dean squirm even now, naked and alone on the bed. And maybe, when he thinks about it, Cas has always been the one in charge. For some reason that makes the fact that Cas calls Dean master absurdly hot.</p><p>He reaches down with one hand to circle his dick loosely and his other hand goes up to grab at his neck. The angle is awkward for his arm and hand but when he closes his eyes and squeezes his hand like Cas had done just moments before, he feels a jolt of arousal go through him and he moans a little.</p><p>So yeah, Cas might have seemed a bit submissive the first time but Dean’s more than fine if Cas wants to manhandle Dean this time around. Maybe they don’t have to choose to be either or? Maybe they can just go with the flow and do what feels good.</p><p>Dean moans deeper when he spreads the Astrogel over his dick, gripping tighter as he imagines being inside Cas. When Cas finally walks into the bedroom Dean has to squeeze the base of his dick or embarrass himself. Fuck Cas looks good. All soft and pink from an obviously thorough shower and Dean blushes to think about what he did in there.</p><p>Cas is wiping his hair hastily and Dean lets his eyes wander over miles of tanned skin, blemish free and soft. Cas’ hipbones stand out and there’s a little dip down to his dick that Dean kind of wants to lick. His dick is a tad bit bigger than Dean’s and though that had irked Dean when he first saw it all those months ago he somehow doesn’t feel bad about that anymore. He had thought he would, something about manly pride or some shit like that, but he doesn’t. Instead he feels an intense desire to touch it and his own dick positively trembles when he sees that Cas is sporting a semi.</p><p>“Oh good, you have gel.”</p><p>Dean snaps to attention and flashes a considerably dopey smile up at Cas. “I wasn’t expecting anything, okay? I want you to know that. Just wanted to be prepared.”</p><p>Cas looks down at Dean with a smile of his own and an arched eyebrow and fuck, that brow does things to Dean. He thinks back on Cas’ hand clamped down on his neck, feels a tremble go through him, and yeah, it might be that Dean’s more into being submissive than he’s admitted to, even to himself.</p><p>Cas whips off his towel in a way that translates as way too cool for Dean to be in his right mind and crawls onto the bed to lie on his side beside Dean, facing him. “I’m glad that you are, I did some stretching in the shower but I’m going to need more than one finger for you to fit.”</p><p>He lifts his hand and drags a finger up Dean’s hard-as-a-rock dick. Dean grabs the comforter under him, chasing Cas’ finger with his hips. He bites his lower lip against a groan when Cas relents and starts rubbing the slit at the top with the pad of his finger. A healthy amount of precome blurts out and Cas makes a satisfied noise and spreads it down over the frenulum.</p><p>“Fuck, Cas,” Dean gasps and feels his toes curl. “Wanna be inside you, baby.”</p><p>Cas rises to lean on one elbow, bending over Dean to kiss him as he circles the head of Dean’s dick and holds him still.</p><p>“It’s going to be so tight, Dean,” he murmurs, his already deep voice dropping even more. Dean thrusts against Cas’ grip but Cas just follows with the motion, making an arrow of desperate desire shoot through Dean. “So tight and hot, clenching all around you.”</p><p>“Cas…” Dean gasps, completely overwhelmed. “Is it gonna hurt?”</p><p>“No master,” Cas kisses Dean’s forehead. “You’re going to feel so good, better than anything you’ve ever had.”</p><p>Well Dean’s not doubting <em>that</em>. He reaches up to cup Cas’ cheek. “I meant <em>you</em>, is it gonna hurt <em>you</em>?”</p><p>Cas looks surprised and then Dean is hit smack dab with a big burst of satisfaction and devotion, so much it makes him gasp pathetically. Cas just kisses his forehead again.</p><p>“No, it’s going to make me come hard and I’m going to love it.”</p><p>Dean fucking <em>whines</em> and if he wasn’t so goddamn aroused he would be mortified all over again. But everything is just feeling so good, so <em>much</em>. He whines again when Cas shuts off their Link, feeling lonely for a moment before Cas climbs over him, settling so that they can kiss more properly.</p><p>It’s heated between them, Cas has one hand on Dean’s throat, not pressing or anything but just resting there and it’s kind of making Dean go a bit crazy. His hands roam Cas’ body and he can’t help it that they land on the swell of Cas’ ass, kneading the meat there. Cas is up on his knees and Dean doesn’t want to push him so that means he’s largely out of reach for Deans’ dick. It’s ramrod straight and so hard Dean just <em>has to</em> thrust up a little. Cas smiles into the kisses when Dean starts rolling under him and he squirms out of Dean’s hands to kiss his way down Dean’s neck and chest.</p><p>A sharp ping of want goes through Dean when Cas brushes up against his hard dick but then Cas moves again and Dean’s just about to complain when he feels definite suction on one of his nipples. Now, it’s not that Dean’s never played with his nipples before, they’re there and he’s touched them. Women like it when he touches theirs so he’s been curious and yeah, he’s liked it but he doesn’t do it a lot because… well, because it’s a little weird for a dude to like it, right? Women never seem to consider his nipples and it’s not like he’s gonna ask.</p><p>But Cas just goes for it and it feels <em>so fucking good</em>. The good kind of chill runs down his spine and his balls tingle. The feeling of Cas playing with his nipples is on that precarious line between pleasurable and tickling and somehow that makes it even better. He arches his back into the touches and feels more precome drooling out of his bobbing dick.</p><p>“Fucking hell, Cas. Gonna kill me.”</p><p>Cas looks up, smirking as if he already knew this. He looks ravishing, hair sticking up everywhere, cheeks flushed a pretty pink. His dick is hanging heavy and hard between his legs and when he moves to tower over Dean’s body Dean can’t help but reach out and grab Cas’ dick lightly.</p><p>“That feels good, master,” Cas moans breathily and Dean feels lightheaded from hearing Cas call him master in this voice, especially when it’s clear that Dean’s not the one in charge here.</p><p>“I wanna be inside you,” he groans, squeezing Cas’ balls lightly. Cas bites his lower lip as if he doesn’t know that that almost makes Dean combust with want.</p><p>“I just have to open myself up some more, okay?” or maybe he does know exactly what he’s doing to Dean. The way he’s looking right now, hooded eyes and body bent in a sinuous curve to reach behind himself, makes Dean’s brain kind of short-circuit.</p><p>His mouth is dry and his movements when he reaches out to give Cas the lube feel sluggish. Cas is smiling down at him and Dean thinks that yeah, Cas is no innocent little lamb, he knows <em>exactly</em> what he’s doing and he gets off on it. Well, Dean’s got no problem with that. If Cas likes it when Dean gets aroused from looking at him then that’s a win-win because Dean’s so fucking hard and he don’t want to look away to save his life.</p><p>Because fucking hell is Cas a sight to see right now. He’s got his back arched a little so that his butt sticks out, Dean can’t see what he’s doing but he’s not stupid and he can clearly imagine Cas fucking himself on at least two of his slender fingers. He’s leaned a bit over Dean, his other hand on Dean’s chest for purchase and Dean’s loves it, loves that he’s supporting Cas like this. But fuck he wants to touch.</p><p>“How does it feel, baby?” he asks in a decidedly hoarse voice and Cas’ attention snaps back to him.</p><p>He straightens up a bit and takes one of Dean’s hands. He directs Dean around his body and Dean’s fingers tremble as he finds the fluttering little hole there. All slick and furled, it feels so tight, so impossible that he’ll fit in there.</p><p>“Touch me inside Dean,” Cas says in a hushed voice and Dean slips one finger inside. It goes so smoothly he almost pulls out in sheer surprise.</p><p>But he managed to contain himself and instead he holds his fingers there and sits up to get closer. Cas cradles Dean’s head to his body with one hand and uses the other to gather Dean’s fingers close to his ass, guiding him in the motion. Dean grabs one of Cas’ ass cheeks in his other hand, pulling to spread him wider.</p><p>“It’s too tight,” he says in an equally tight voice.</p><p>Cas nods, his mouth against Dean’s sweaty hair. “Tight and warm, all for you Dean. You’re going to feel so good when you finally get inside, feel me clamping all around you—ah, there.”</p><p>He nudges Dean’s finger with the two he’s got in there as well and Dean feels a little something inside Cas’ body.</p><p><em>“His prostate,” </em>Dean thinks almost desperately and rubs against it just to hear Cas moan throatily. “You like that, baby?”</p><p>Well, yeah probably. Cas’ dick is leaking so much it’s almost as if he’s come already and he’s got his head flung back, fucking himself down on their fingers. Dean’s very glad he’s the age he is because if he was younger he would come from this alone. Hell, maybe he can, if it goes on for too long, because Cas is just that erotic to look at. But he wants to be inside and he’s almost whining with the need.</p><p>“Lie back, Dean,” Cas suddenly says, voice so deep it almost feels like bass thumping against Dean’s ribcage. Or maybe that’s his heart hammering out a beat to match how big everything feels.</p><p>Cas smiles down at him when Dean’s pulled out and forced himself to disentangle from Cas to rest back against the pillow again. He sits up high on his knees and grabs Dean’s dick between his legs to hold him steady. Dean’s hands flex against Cas’ thighs.</p><p>Cas gives him a last look, searching for reassurance that Dean wants this, before he promptly sits right the fuck down. The going is unexpectedly fast for a hole that’s not made to take something like this. One moment Cas has swallowed the sensitive head and in the next he’s all the way down, all of Dean inside him and Dean’s breathing is clipped, his hips twitching with the need to fuck up into Cas’ hot body.</p><p>Cas sighs contently and leans his head back, fingers splayed wide on Dean’s taut stomach as he circles his hips in little figure eights. Dean digs in his fingers and clenches his teeth against a desperate groan. Cas’ dick is hard and standing straight up, drooling precome down on his hands and Dean’s stomach, his balls tight and close to his body. Dean wants to touch him so much but he’s lost in a haze of arousal, swimming in it and clawing for more.</p><p>“You feel so good, Dean,” Cas moans then and lifts himself off Dean, starting slow but building fast until he’s fucking himself hard down on Dean’s dick.</p><p>“Cas, shit, Cas I want—I <em>feel</em>—” Dean can’t get the words out. His body is too tightly strung, and Cas looks so fucking good riding Dean like this.</p><p>His strong thighs frame Dean’s body and when Dean plants his feet on the bed so that he can add to the motion, fucking up into Cas as Cas fucks down on him, Cas leans back and grabs Dean’s knees for purchase. He bends in impossible ways, using his thighs and stomach muscles to wring Dean dry.</p><p>And Dean’s never felt pleasure like this.</p><p>Cas’ dick bounces with his movements but he doesn’t reach for it and though Dean wants to he can’t let go of his iron grip on Cas’ thighs. He needs to feel the powerful muscles working there to ground himself, to assure himself that this is happening, that’s he’s allowed this.</p><p>“I’m going to come soon,” Cas announces suddenly, voice unfairly calm, making Dean realize that that desperate little sound he’s been hearing has been himself mewling for Cas. He thinks he should feel embarrassed about that but can’t when Cas’ words register with him.</p><p>“Y-yeah,” he gets out between grunts and Cas grins down at him. Fuck, is he gonna come untouched? Dean kind of wants to see that. “Come on me, fuck you’re so beautiful, wanna feel it.”</p><p>His words seem to surprise and please Cas because he moans and then slows his thrusts to reach with one hand to stroke his dick.</p><p>“You fill me up so perfectly, Dean. You sound so good, moaning for me. I’m going to cover you with my release and you’re going to take it,” Dean’s whole body flushes at the mere words. “You’re going to <em>like</em> it,” he’s breathless but his voice is still so gruff it’s making Dean arch his back and subconsciously display his throat submissively.</p><p>“Cas…” he moans, his voice strangled and fucking fuck, he needs to come but he needs to see Cas come first.</p><p>“Can’t hold it,” Cas says huskily the second before he comes with a shout and at first Dean thinks he meant he couldn’t hold his come but then it hits him. Like a punch to his brain.</p><p>Their Empathic Link opens wide when Cas comes, his orgasm overruling all other functions and Dean doesn’t just get the satisfying feeling of Cas’ come splashing hot on his chest or Cas’ inner walls clenching rhythmically around his throbbing dick. He also gets the blunt force of all the emotions Cas is feeling at the moment of his orgasm and it’s so much. So profound and so encompassing.</p><p>Dean throws his head back, screaming Cas’ name, screaming for release, and his whole body convulses with pleasure. It’s soon overwhelming him and he comes too, hands gripping Cas’ hips harshly, pulling him down and holding him still as Dean pumps him full of his release. He doesn’t know because he can’t think straight, but Cas probably also gets hit with Dean’s emotions and he feels a pleasurable shudder go through Cas’ body.</p><p>Fuck everything feels good but it’s also making him oversensitive and he hugs Cas tightly, probably enough to strangle him.</p><p>“Turn it off,” he sobs out after a few moments when it seems like his orgasm won’t ever end. “Cas, I-I…”</p><p>Cas shushes him gently and the moment their Empathic Link shuts off again Dean collapses back on the bed, pulling Cas along with him. He slides out of Cas’ hole with a wet sound but he doesn’t care about that. He needs to keep Cas close, to nuzzle against him, to kiss and lick and nip his smooth skin. Having all those feelings was overwhelming but now that they’re gone he feels lonely and he<em> needs</em> to feel that Cas is still here.</p><p>Cas indulges him and Dean wonders if maybe he’s feeling the same as him. He can’t take the thought that Cas might be lonely so he pressed even closer. Their spent dicks gets smashed together as Dean turns them on their sides and he can’t help but hump against Cas, loving the feeling of his softening dick against Dean’s own.</p><p>“Any closer and you’ll be inside my skin,” Cas mumbles with amusement.</p><p>“Is it always like this with familiars?” Or is it only Cas? Dean thinks Cas is probably special.</p><p>“Maybe the first time,” Cas murmurs sweetly. “But not always and not every time,” he cups Dean’s cheek, turning his head up to face Cas so that they can kiss slowly. Dean’s getting groggy in that post-orgasmic hazy kind of way.</p><p>“It was <em>so good</em>, Cas.”</p><p>Cas preens. “Better than—?”</p><p>“Better than anything I’ve ever had,” Dean interrupts with a grin. “I dunno if it’s because I’m in love with you or because you’re my familiar or what,” he chuckles a little. “I mean, that damn Link we have sure made things more interesting.”</p><p>Cas looks like he’s won the lottery. “I think it’s a little bit of both.”</p><p>Dean grins and ducks in to kiss Cas again. Fuck, he’s just realizing that he said <em>out loud</em> and <em>to Cas’ face</em> that he loves him and Cas didn’t reject him. He’s so fucking stoked he at first doesn’t notice Cas’ dick swelling. When he does he breaks off the kiss to look down and sure enough, it’s well on its way to becoming a proud erection once again.</p><p>“Refractory period like a dreamboat,” Dean chuckles and Cas looks cheeky, which is a new look on him and Dean’s own dick perks up at the sight of it.</p><p>“That’s entirely your fault,” he counters in his gravelly voice. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this in love with someone, or perhaps I’ve never been in love at all before meeting you. In any case your touches drive me wild.”</p><p>Dean can’t believe how easily Cas can admit to things like this. He absolutely loves it but he can barely believe it. He can’t help but open the Link and send all the emotions he can’t voice through it. Cas’ eyes soften with affection even as his dick hardens even more and Dean can’t help but smirk about that.</p><p>“Tell me what you want, baby,” he says in a murmur, dead set on repaying Cas for the spectacular show he just subjugated Dean to.</p><p>“I think I remember something about you wanting to try sucking another man’s dick? Was that all fantasy or are you inclined to deliver?”</p><p>“How can I not deliver on that when you’re looking like this?” Dean grins and Cas arches his eyebrow again, confirming Dean’s suspicion that he might have a slight authority kink.</p><p>“And what do I look like?”</p><p>Dean swoops in, grabbing Cas’ ass and kissing him breathless. “Delectable.”</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. The frenzy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Dean’s so in love with Cas it almost feels unbelievable. More unbelievable is that Cas apparently loves him back and they’re a couple now. They share Dean’s big bed every night and mostly Cas is a human and Dean wakes up with morning wood that Cas takes care of simply because he wants to.</p><p>Sometimes Cas sleeps like a cat and Dean likes that too. He’s small and furry and purr up a storm when Dean pulls him tight against his chest. Thankfully Dean doesn’t wake up with boners when Cas is a cat because that would be weird as fuck but he does get this warm feeling in his chest when he sees Cas’ little cat nose poking out from beneath the comforter. Cas is so tiny as a cat and he would be so easy to kill, Dean feels protective as hell and has taken to carry Cas around more often.</p><p>Sam and Jess tease him mercilessly for that but Dean endures it because he remembers Sam bitching about Jess going out for nightly hunts and how dangerous that could be. He’s cooled it with that now, but Dean still remembers so he takes the teasing like a champ.</p><p>And Cas doesn’t seem to mind anyway. Not the teasing and not Dean carrying him around. He’s even taken to sit in Dean’s lap when they’re working at the shop. It’s cute and kind of funny when Cas sits there and slaps Dean’s hands away with his little paws when Dean’s messing up the magic weave on whatever item they’re working on.</p><p>It occurred to Dean one time that his lover — boyfriend? — was sitting on his lap and his dick wasn’t responding in the least and maybe he should be worried about that. But then Sam and Jess had come in and wanted to talk about the plans for their anniversary and Cas had turned human but stayed put in Dean’s lap. And Dean’s dick had responded so fast Dean felt winded.</p><p>And Cas, the little shit, he’d noticed of course. Wriggling his narrow hips like a pro and arching his eyebrow at Dean as if he’d already figured out how much that turned Dean on. Well, Dean had gotten him good later, fucking him until he taunted Dean to go harder even as he came a second time on Dean’s fat dick.</p><p>Yeah, Dean is getting better at anal and really, it’s not that different from the sex he used to have. Some of the logistics are different but the movements are basically the same and Dean’s got the hip movement down to a tee. And Cas is so beautiful under Dean and so perfect when he rides him relentlessly. Either position, Dean just loves being inside Cas. So far, they’ve yet to try doggie style but that’s just because Dean likes looking at Cas’ face. He says it’s because Cas is so fucking gorgeous and that’s not a lie but it’s not the entire truth. But he can’t admit that he wants to see Cas’ face so he can catch any sign of pain because that would be too lame.</p><p>It’s true though, because Dean’s not used to poking his dick up someone’s ass and he thinks it should be more painful than Cas is letting on. He’s just glad so long Cas seems to like it and judging by how hard he always is for Dean it’s a safe bet to say he’s at least enjoying the physical aspect. It might be that Dean’s just that good at nailing Cas’ prostate or maybe it’s the fact that Dean’s in enough control now to be able to touch Cas. The first time he jerked Cas off during sex was spectacular.</p><p>Cas likes it when Dean touches his dick and balls, <em>at lot</em>. He’s okay with his nipples being toyed with, but more because it’s nice to be touched in general. He doesn’t seem to experience the pleasurable chills like Dean does whenever Cas pinches his nipples but that’s okay. Dean’s pretty damn occupied with touching the rest of Cas’ body.</p><p>The more sex they have the deeper Dean falls for his grumpy little kitty and the more curious he gets about bottoming. Because it seems like it <em>should</em> be painful, but Cas is <em>clearly</em> enjoying it. Dean doesn’t go there very much in his mind but last night when they had sex Cas had gripped Dean’s ass cheeks so hard his fingers had skated Dean’s hole and Dean had come so hard and so fast he’d surprised the both of them into laughter.</p><p>They haven’t really talked about it and Dean’s happy that Cas lets him take this at his own pace. He’s been thinking about it, though, and he kind of wants to ask but later. Right now Dean’s busy fixing himself some coffee and it’s taking all of his brainpower because they’re up earlier than usual and his eyes feel like they have a scoop of sand in each.</p><p>Cas is a cat, like he usually is when he’s tired, and he’s sitting in his seat at the kitchen table staring at his bowl of cereal like he wants to set it on fire.</p><p>“I don’t like cornflakes,” he mutters and Dean grins about the way Cas’ whiskers are drooping. His tail is hanging limp off the chair’s edge and he looks more tousled than usual.</p><p>“Sorry, we’re out of bread and we don’t have time for bacon and eggs. You’ll have to make do.”</p><p>Cas whines wordlessly and thumps his little head against the edge of the table, his ears flattening back. Dean sits down at the table with his coffee, grinning about how Cas is <em>definitely</em> not a morning person.</p><p>“I want to go back to bed.”</p><p>“We can’t. Sam and Jess are on their anniversary trip, remember? We gotta be the ones to open the shop today.”</p><p>Usually they do it because they live on top of it and it saves Dean and Cas at least half an hour in the morning, sometimes more if Dean feels like being an ass.</p><p>“I know that already, why are you repeating things I already know?”</p><p>“Because you’re being adorable.”</p><p>Cas’ glare doesn’t really have the same impact on Dean anymore. In fact, nowadays it’s got more of an arousing effect than anything else. Dean winks at Cas and drinks some of his coffee, pulling his own bowl closer to fill it with cornflakes.</p><p>“Why is your shop even open this early? Most stores open much later.”</p><p>“Because some of our clientele can’t be out in broad daylight.”</p><p>“I know that too,” Cas all but hisses and Dean smirks to himself, standing to get the milk he forgot on the counter. “It was a rhetorical question, stop being reasonable.”</p><p>“I will if you’ll stop being cranky and eat your cereal.”</p><p>“I won’t,” Cas huffs. “They hurt the roof of my mouth.”</p><p>Dean sits down with a confused frown. Cornflakes hurt Cas? Is this like with the catnip and Dean’s been trying to force something on Cas that’s actually harmful for him? But Dean’s seen Jess eating cereal on more than one occasion.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“They’re <em>sharp</em>,” Cas sniffs and refuses to look at Dean. “They cut my palate.”</p><p>Dean starts laughing so hard he has to lean back in his chair and hug his stomach. Cas visibly bristles but doesn’t say anything. His tail whips about, though, and it only makes Dean laugh harder.</p><p>“You’re supposed to <em>chew</em>, kitty,” Dean practically howls with laughter when Cas does the cat version of sneering at him.</p><p>“I refuse.”</p><p>Dean’s got to calm down or they’re gonna be late enough that it won’t have mattered that he dragged Cas out of bed so early.</p><p>“Also, you’re supposed to eat them with milk,” he says between chuckles and reaches over to pour milk in Cas’ bowl, making the cornflakes crackle.</p><p>“Milk?” Cas asks with interest and turns human. He grabs his spoon and pokes around his bowl, making thoughtful noises.</p><p>“Eat them before they go all soggy, though,” Dean grins and pours himself some milk too, shoveling in his cornflakes as he watches Cas tentatively take a few bites.</p><p>“Oh,” he looks up with an astonished look and Dean can’t help it how his whole chest fills with warm emotions. “Oh I like this. This is really good, Dean.”</p><p>“I know,” Dean grins at the way Cas wolfs down his cornflakes now. “Not as good as bacon but better than nothing.”</p><p>Cas licks his lips and of course Dean’s mind and dick goes <em>there</em> but he forces the thoughts away for now because they have things to do.</p><p>“Thank you, Dean.”</p><p>Dean just smiles as he scrapes the bottom of his bowl. Maybe he’s new to relationships in general and certainly to sex with men and maybe Cas has to show him a thing or two but Dean’s happy that Cas relies on him and trusts him with other things like this. Now if he could just convince Cas that the vacuum cleaner is safe, he would be set…</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>The day at the shop passes uneventfully, almost more so than usual, but Dean and Cas find ways to entertain themselves anyway. Their inventory of antiques needs to be updated and Cas takes it on himself to move around some of the bigger furniture to better fit with the new stuff Sam had acquired from a decedent estate last week. All in all, it’s pretty peaceful and Dean delights in how much more he can lift with the spell <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/mageHand.htm"><em>Mage Hand</em> </a>now that Cas is here to boost his magic abilities.</p><p>They do some by hand, though, and Dean’s even more delighted to smell Cas’ sweat. It’s musky and spicy and Dean wants to put his face in Cas’ crotch again. He’s only sucked off Cas twice and he doesn’t think he’s very good at it, but he loves doing it and Cas seems to enjoy Dean’s fumbling, slobbering attempts at deep-throating so he’s not complaining.</p><p>Actually, he gets aroused as fuck being down there for Cas. At first, he thought it was like with the women, the power rush he felt with them at being allowed to put his mouth somewhere so delicate and also about his control over their pleasure. He’s always loved that. But with Cas it’s different.</p><p>Because even though Dean’s the one with Cas’ dick in his mouth and close to his teeth, Cas is clearly the one in control during oral sex, as with all their sex so far. He grips Dean’s hair and guides him how he likes it, praises Dean and rolls his hips in lazy thrusts that he’s somehow sure Dean can take. And Dean <em>can</em> take it, <em>wants</em> to.</p><p>As he’s standing by the cash register, ringing up their total for the day and waiting for Cas to finish closing up the shop, he starts thinking about what it would be like if Cas sucked him off. They haven’t done that yet and Dean <em>really</em> wants to.</p><p>He’s startled when Cas suddenly comes up behind him, wrapping his arms around Dean’s waist. Damn Cas can be quiet when he wants to…</p><p>“Finished?” Cas murmurs against Dean’s ear and Dean’s whole body heats up.</p><p>He looks down and sees that yeah, he’s been finished for a while, just too caught up in fantasizing about Cas’ lips around his dick. He grins over his shoulder, pressing back against Cas.</p><p>“Yeah, you too?”</p><p>Cas hums as he kisses the nape of Dean’s neck. “I felt you through the Link. Are you thinking about naughty things without me?”</p><p>Dean’s so fucking stoked that the more they do this, the more dominating Cas gets. Oh he was vulnerable in the beginning and that was Dean’s fault but ever since he clearly felt Dean’s love he’s definitely been taking command.</p><p>Dean squirms to turn around and gets a thrill from Cas not moving but rather keeping him trapped against the counter with his body.</p><p>“I was thinking about you giving me a blow job,” he says boldly and feels his whole body light up when Cas does that arching eyebrow thing. His dick is certainly waking up and he knows Cas can feel it with how close they’re standing.</p><p>“Here in the shop?” Cas asks, his tone a shade darker and Dean loves it. “That <em>is</em> naughty.”</p><p>Well, Dean was more thinking in general but he doesn’t voice this as Cas slides to his knees the moment he’s done speaking. Dean’s dick throbs with the mere anticipation because damn, Dean loves himself a good BJ and Cas looks fucking hot on his knees like this. But still, Dean has to take care of his familiar. He reaches down and cups Cas’ chin but Cas turns his head to kiss the palm of Dean’s hand instead, his own hands going to Dean’s belt buckle.</p><p>“Cas,” Dean rasps and he shudders when Cas turns his wonderfully blue eyes up at him. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”</p><p>“What makes you think I don’t want to?” Cas murmurs intimately as he opens Dean’s jeans.</p><p>“Just…” damn it’s hard to think with Cas pulling out Dean’s dick. “We’ve never done it before.”</p><p>He stops thinking for a moment when Cas puts his soft lips against the base of Dean’s dick, just kind of dragging his mouth along the length and inhaling Dean’s scent. Dean’s knees tremble and he has to put his hands on the edge of the counter to keep steady. Fuck, he can’t remember it feeling like this with any of his previous partners. In fact, he’s usually been pretty cocky and boastful in bed but with Cas he feels more and more humbled every time they do <em>anything </em>and he’s loving it.</p><p>“All in due time, Dean,” Cas hushes and licks the sensitive head. “You’ve been so good to me, showing me all these sides of you that are only for me. Because they are, aren’t they?” he squeezes Dean’s balls slightly and Dean’s knee jerks when pleasure sears through him.</p><p>“Yeah,” he moans, head flung back even though he wants to watch Cas down there. “Everything’s feelin’ different with you, Cas.”</p><p>“That’s right,” Cas coos, mouthing at Dean’s dick even as he strokes it, feather-light. “You don’t have to be in charge with me, Dean. You can relax, give yourself to me. I’ll show you real love.”</p><p>Fuck, Cas isn’t even sucking him but Dean already feels like blowing. He’s got tears in his eyes that are certainly from pleasure but kind of feels like they could be about what he’s feeling too. It’s too much and he has to open the Empathic Link, has to share it with Cas because only Cas can give Dean what he needs.</p><p>“Oh, Dean,” Cas sighs with pleasure and he feels Cas taking his emotions and cradle them like they’re precious. “Let me take care of you.”</p><p>And he does, fucking hell does he ever. He deep-throats like a motherfucker and when he’s got Dean’s dick all the way down his throat, way past what Dean would consider the gag reflex point, he holds still and looks up at Dean. It feels like his eyes bore into Dean’s soul, and then he <em>swallows</em>.</p><p>Dean’s hips buck forward of their own violation and Dean gives a short shout of pure fucking ecstasy. Cas’ throat is tight around him and the muscles work to swallow, massaging him. Cas hums with delight and grabs Dean’s ass when Dean can’t even fucking calm down. He kneads Dean’s ass and starts practically fucking his face on Dean’s dick. The suction and the heat is marvelous but the best part is looking down and seeing how blissed out Cas looks.</p><p>Dean reaches one hand and tangles it in Cas’ hair but unlike Cas in the reversed position, Dean isn’t guiding the other man in the least. Cas has set his own pace and Dean’s along for the ride and loving it. He does grip Cas’ hair hard, though, and Cas spreads his knees and arches his back.</p><p>“Fuck yeah,” Dean groans deeply, seeing Cas’ butt on display like that. “You like me pullin’ on your hair? Wanna do it when we fuck too, holy shit Cas…”</p><p>He can feel his orgasm rushing through him and he wants this to last but he’s powerless to stop it. Cas apparently feels it too because he slams Dean back against the counter and holds him there with a hard grip on Dean’s hips, mouth working faster over Dean’s dick and Dean’s coming moments later.</p><p>“You taste very good,” Cas states in a hoarse voice when Dean’s done orgasming himself stupid. He’s still on his knees, licking Dean clean and Dean’s mind is foggy with the knowledge that Cas swallowed everything he fed him.</p><p>They haven’t been using condoms because Dean knows he’s clean and Cas can’t anyhow catch non-magical diseases and Dean loves it, but he hadn’t anticipated Cas swallowing his come. He hasn’t really done that for Cas and he regrets it now because Cas looks like he’s really enjoying himself down there.</p><p>“Cas, you’re fucking amazing,” he mumbles and smiles sweetly down at Cas when the man looks up with surprise.</p><p>He rises to his feet, movements smooth as ever, and then comes in to kiss Dean. And it should perhaps be gross because he’s just had his mouth full of Dean’s spunk but Dean loves it. Cas grips his neck and holds him still and Dean feels himself go pliant in Cas’ demanding embrace.</p><p>Cas is hard and hot in his jeans and he groans softly into the kiss when Dean grabs his hips and rolls against him.</p><p>“If you make me come now it’ll get messy.”</p><p>Dean grins. “I could suck you off too,” truth be told he’s feeling a bit unsteady from how hard he just came but he loves pleasuring Cas.</p><p>Cas pulls out of the kiss to grin back. “I’d rather wait until later and have you fuck me hard in our bed, where we can be as messy as we want.”</p><p>Dean feels his dick trying to twitch with interest. “Hell yeah, anything you want Cas,” he leans in to nuzzle against Cas’ still pretty rapid pulse. “Gotta treat you somehow for that stellar blow job, though. The shop’s closed tomorrow and Sammy and Jess won’t be returning until late in the evening, you wanna go out to eat?”</p><p>Their Link swells with Cas’ pleasure. “I want to go to LongHorn Steakhouse and eat a bloody steak and then I want to go to a bar and get drunk.”</p><p>That makes Dean chuckle and he hugs Cas tightly, enjoying Cas rubbing his still hard dick against Dean’s hip.</p><p>“You sure you’re okay with alcohol, though? So it won’t be like the catnip.” </p><p>It’s not like Cas is going around drinking at home so Dean doesn’t really know.</p><p>“It’ll be fine, Dean,” Cas says with a smile in his voice, his mouth against the side of Dean’s head as he breathes in Dean’s scent. “I’m more human than cat anyway.”</p><p>“Yeah and thank fuck for that,” Dean says with a new grin as he pulls out of the hug. “What the hell would I have done if your dick had been all barbed and shit? Would have freaked me out.”</p><p>Cas scrunches up his nose but he can’t help but laugh when Dean makes a stupid face at the mere thought.</p><p>“Yes, let’s thank our lucky stars for human anatomy, huh?”</p><p>Dean reaches down to cup Cas’ sizable erection, hefting it and smirking at the way Cas’ mouth slides open and his eyes go dark.</p><p>“I’d say,” he murmurs seductively and enjoys watching Cas struggle deciding between food and sex.</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>The food eventually wins out but Dean’s very strictly informed that it’s “just for now” and that he’s got his work cut out for him when they get home. He’s also not allowed to touch Cas for a while because Cas has a hard enough time without Dean’s enticing hands all over him. Dean’s so smug about that that he almost drives right past LongHorn.</p><p>The food’s just as good as usual and Dean enjoys watching Cas scarf it down like a man on a mission. He even shares some of his food when Cas looks hungry even after finishing his, like a total relationship badass. Dean will fucking go hungry if it means he’ll get to see Cas smile sweetly like that.</p><p>Dean takes Cas to Conroy’s Pub after dinner rather than the Roadhouse, for several reasons. The main being that he knows the owners of the Roadhouse and the clientele is mostly magical so while he normally loves it and has enjoyed a few evenings with Cas there already, Dean also knows that it’ll mean he won’t get Cas to himself if they go there. And he kind of wants to be selfish tonight.</p><p>Another reason is that he kind of feels like treating Cas and while the Roadhouse is awesome, Conroy’s is nicer. It’s not <em>classy</em>-classy but it’s a step up from the Roadhouse, which is more like a dive bar.</p><p>Since it’s a Saturday the pub is packed, but they manage to find a table anyway, as long as they’re okay with sharing with a few guys from KU. Dean doesn’t mind because that means Cas ends up basically sitting in Dean’s lap and hell yeah, that feels nice. Cas is definitely not heavy for a guy, certainly lighter than Dean, but he’s still heavier than what Dean is used to and that feels grounding in a surprisingly good way.</p><p>They end up having a few shots of Tequila with the KU dudes and Dean plays some of them for money over at the pool table while Cas holds a scientific conversation/lecture about bees together with some chicks who appear to be friends of the guys. Dean’s having fun and a few of the highlights are definitely the girly drinks Cas buys with a completely straight face and the expression on Cas’ face when Dean comes back victorious from the pool game.</p><p>They sit hip to hip at the table but for some reason Dean can’t get it in his head to wrap an arm around Cas or at least take his hand. He doesn’t know if it’s just because he’s unused to relationships or if it’s because Cas is a man but he feels kind of bad for his insecurities nonetheless. Cas pushes affection over their Link, though, and after a while Dean starts worrying less and just lets loose.</p><p>One of the KU girls — Tina, Dean thinks — flirts outrageously with Dean as the night wears on and yeah she’s hot and Dean would’ve hit that if he had been single. But as it is now he feels nothing — well, he feels mildly smug about the attention — even though he humors her. It’s mostly for fun, though, but he supposes he should feel a bit bad because he knows he’s not going home with her.</p><p>It’s well after midnight when Dean’s bladder twinges painfully and he staggers off to the restroom. It’s a relief to say the least and he looks around the unusually neat stalls as he relieves himself in one of the urinals, shit-eating grin on his face for no particular reason.</p><p>He’s just about finished and is washing his hands when his senses are overwhelmed by Cas opening the previously mostly silent Link to push a great amount of dissatisfaction through to Dean. It makes him stagger and he puts the heel of one hand against his temple.</p><p>“The hell?” he mutters and looks up just in time to see Cas entering the restroom, slamming the door shut behind him.</p><p>He’s smiling but it’s angry and Dean gulps because he knows he should be upset and not aroused but damn, Cas looks so fucking good.</p><p>“Having fun, Dean?”</p><p>“Well, I was…” Dean mumbles and rubs his temple. “What’s up?”</p><p>Cas steps to the side and points at the door. “<a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/arcaneLock.htm"><em>Arcane Lock</em></a>.”</p><p>Dean frowns but goes over to perform the spell anyway, effectively locking the door to most ordinary people. “Waste of magic, but whatever,” he mutters just as the door clicks shut. He begins to turn back to Cas but doesn’t get far when the man suddenly slams Dean up against the door, chest to Dean’s back and his mouth against Dean’s ear.</p><p>“You think you can get away with flirting with someone else in front of me, Dean?” he growls and Dean’s body lights up like the fucking Fourth of July.</p><p>“Oh,” he says in a tiny voice and Cas responds by dragging his teeth along the outer shell of Dean’s ear.</p><p>“Yes,” his voice is deep and dangerous and Dean’s chubbin’ up real fucking fast. “I told you before, I don’t like you looking at other people, especially not now that you’re with me.”</p><p>Dean actually arches his back, a moan bubbling up at the way Cas is manhandling him. He pushes his butt back and can feel Cas through his jeans even though he isn’t especially hard. It sends a thrill down Dean’s spine to be in this position with Cas growling over him.</p><p>“I didn’t mean it,” Dean moans, turning his head to peek at Cas over his shoulder. “I was just humoring her, I know I’m yours,” he licks his lips when Cas’ eyes twinkle at his words. “I wanna be.”</p><p>This seems to placate Cas some because he eases up and lets Dean turn around so that they can kiss. “The only one you’ll be humoring from now on will be me, Dean,” he says but his demanding tone is gone. He sounds more vulnerable now, if only slightly, and Dean’s chest constricts with how much he loves Cas.</p><p>“Yeah, Cas,” he murmurs and cups Cas’ face to kiss him sweetly, though it turns dirty fast.</p><p>“Fuck me, Dean.”</p><p>Dean nods. “Let’s go home and I’ll—”</p><p>“No,” Cas steps away, pulling Dean from the door and dragging him over to one of the stalls. Dean stumbles along, more confused than anything. “Here. Now.”</p><p>He pushes Dean down on one of the toilets and Dean just blinks up at him when Cas stands before him, hastily opening his jeans.</p><p>“But it’s a <em>toilet</em>,” he says eventually and Cas stops to consider Dean for a moment. His eyes are already heavily lidded and when he leans down to put a hand on Dean’s definitely hard dick he steals a quick kiss before smirking at Dean.</p><p>“And you’re already <em>this</em> hard, do you really want to stop?”</p><p>Dean <em>should</em>, because it’s usually a bit off-putting in general in public restrooms, plus he’s kind of too old to be having this kind of sex. On the <em>other</em> hand, Cas is already naked from the waist down and sitting down to straddle Dean’s lap.</p><p>“You’re too fucking erotic, Cas,” Dean groans in delighted defeat and reaches around to finger Cas’ tight hole.</p><p>Cas’ chuckle turns into a moan of satisfaction and he kisses Dean sloppily as he bucks back against Dean’s fingers. He frees Dean’s dick and strokes it a few times, spreading the precome already leaking out of the slit. Dean shudders and plants his feet wider apart on the floor for better purchase. Cas’ dick is hard and even wetter than Dean’s and when Cas takes them both in hand Dean’s mind kind of fuzzes out for a moment and he presses the tip of his finger inside Cas without thinking.</p><p>“Yes, Dean,” Cas hisses and clenches around the fingertip.</p><p>“It’s too dry,” Dean hushes, bending forward to kiss Cas’ throat. “I’m gonna hurt you. We should wait ‘til we get home and have lube.”</p><p>“You should have lube with you,” Cas grumps and Dean chuckles until Cas grabs his hand and puts his fingers inside his mouth to suck and lick them.</p><p>Dean’s mind immediately goes to earlier today when Cas had sucked him off like a goddamn pro. His dick jerks and he moans deeply, feeling Cas’ dick blurt out more precome. He presses his fingers against Cas’ tongue and Cas moans, sucking harder for a moment before releasing Dean’s hand.</p><p>Cas’ hole is warm and twitching when Dean puts his now wet fingers back against it. He goes in a little easier but not as easy as with lube and he knows it’s still gonna be a burn but Cas seems to want it enough to not care and Dean’s more than on board for that.</p><p>“Wanna stand up? I could fuck you from behind?” he mumbles when he’s three fingers deep and Cas is almost vibrating off Dean’s lap. Their dicks are crazy smeared with precome by now and Dean’s starting to suspect they won’t have to worry about the lack of lube.</p><p>Cas just huffs at him and shuffles forward so that Dean’s dick gets lodged between his ass cheeks. “Like this,” he demands in a hoarse voice and Dean can never say no, not when Cas is looking at him with such desire.</p><p>It’s tight, as usual, and Dean wants to go slow for Cas’ sake but it’s made impossible when Cas grabs Dean’s shoulders to lean against and slams himself down on Dean’s hard dick. They both groan and Cas doesn’t even let Dean catch his breath before he starts riding him. Their movements are somewhat limited but Cas is nimble enough to manage to blow Dean’s mind anyway.</p><p>He rolls his hips, squeezing Dean’s dick from every angle and Dean is left gasping desperately as Cas rides him with an almost sadistic grin on his beautiful mouth.</p><p>“You will look only at me, master,” Cas states in a dark voice and fucking hell, Dean can already feel the first tendrils of his orgasm. “You will think only of me, touch only me,” he bends down, grabbing Dean’s chin and speaking against Dean’s panting mouth even as he slams himself down harder on Dean’s throbbing dick. “You’re <em>mine</em>.”</p><p>Dean comes with a long whine, his dick pumping Cas so full of come it splutters out of him as he keeps riding Dean, prolonging Dean’s orgasm until he comes himself. Hot spurts of his come coats Dean’s shirt and Dean rests back against the toilet, feeling unexpectedly gleeful about being covered in Cas’ come.</p><p>In fact, he’s so stoked about Cas owning him like this that he doesn’t even think to turn his shirt inside out to hide the wet spots when they eventually walk out of the restroom. Instead, he wears it like a badge of honor as they walk through the pub, holding Cas’ hand tightly and feeling like the fucking king of the world.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I’m so happy for you guys!”</p><p>Jess’ squeal is high enough to make dogs howl, Castiel is sure, but he’s happy she’s happy so he doesn’t mind. Dean looks like he’s about to die from lack of oxygen when she hugs him, though, and it makes Castiel smile.</p><p>“Really, though,” Sam says and puts a friendly hand on Castiel’s shoulder. “This is cause for celebration, we couldn’t be happier for you.”</p><p>“You sound like we got hitched or something,” Dean grumps but Castiel can feel through their Empathic Link that Dean is relieved his little brother approves of them being in a relationship. He wonders what Sam would say if he knew that Castiel sucked Dean off just two days prior in the very spot Sam is standing right now. He grins to himself but doesn’t say anything about it even when Dean quirks an eyebrow at him.</p><p>“Let’s have a barbecue,” Jess exclaims with such pure happiness that Castiel feels like having a barbecue is the only thing he’s ever wanted.</p><p>Both Sam and Dean agree, and they make plans for the weekend. Castiel feels exuberant to be a part of this family and every time he looks at Dean his chest swells with love. He knows Dean feels it too because he often catches Dean looking at him with what can only be described as a sappy look and he loves that. Loves to be the center of Dean’s attention and loves that Dean accepts that selfish side of Castiel.</p><p>Honestly, he doesn’t even know where that came from. Castiel supposes he’s always been rather forward in bed, but he’s never behaved quite as possessively as he does with Dean. He can’t help it, though. When Dean looks at him with adoration and passion, Castiel feels something inside him let loose, some kind of beast that wants to simultaneously devour and protect Dean. He’s powerless to stop it and Dean only seems to want to encourage it. Castiel doesn’t know if it’s a conscious choice on Dean’s part but the truth is that Dean more often than not riles up that hidden beast, waking it from its slumber with only a look or a simple touch.</p><p>And every time it happens, Dean seems surprised but so delighted that Castiel can do nothing but indulge both his eager lover and his inner desires. As long as Dean wants him, Castiel is willing to give his master anything he asks for.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Heads up no. 1: next chapter will be the last chapter 💖<br/>Heads up no. 2: remember that I tagged for switching? Yeah, so that’s happening 😆<br/>See y’all next week!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. The reversal</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi y'all! Please accept this early post as an apology for some of the other being really late lol<br/>Now, onto the chapter!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>The days stretch into weeks and Castiel is loving life right now. Dean is an intoxicating juxtaposition in his coy seductiveness and it’s ensuring that life is never boring around him. They go out for a new hunt, this time to track down what Dean and Sam had thought was a powerful artefact but that actually turned out to be a fake. Instead of crying over time wasted, Dean takes Castiel to finally introduce him to the Warlock Bobby and they make a road trip of it. Bobby is smart and interesting and Castiel almost doesn’t want to leave when it’s time to go home. Sam is grumpy that they went to Bobby’s without him and they make it up to him by taking him and Jess out for drinks.</p><p>It’s nearing Thanksgiving and Castiel is looking forward to spending it with his little family — they’ve even made plans to drive up and surprise Bobby — when Dean comes into the backroom with an annoyed expression.</p><p>“Better lower the wards, Sammy,” he says just as he’s pocketing his phone. “Crowley’s comin’ to visit.”</p><p>Sam puts down his first attempt at his very own <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/cureLightWounds.htm"><em>Cure Light Wounds</em></a> scroll and looks up with a frown. Castiel rescues the scroll, mindful to remind Sam not to let the paper fold before he’s finished with the runes. Between the brothers, Sam is definitely the one more inclined to learning this but there’s still very much to learn, especially since the Divine is more delicate than the Arcane.</p><p>“What does he want this time?”</p><p>“Ingredients.”</p><p>Sam just sighs and gets up to presumably do Dean’s bidding.</p><p>“Who’s Crowley?” Castiel asks after a moment spent in silence watching Dean fiddle with his phone.</p><p>He’s still trying to get Castiel to adapt to the 21<sup>st</sup> century and get a phone of his own but Castiel doesn’t see a need. The only people he ever wants to contact are here at the shop and his and Dean’s Empathic Link spans little over a mile. Besides, Dean can share spells with Castiel and can always cast <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/telepathicBond.htm"><em>Telepathic Bond</em></a> so that they can speak even though they’re not in the same room.</p><p>“Crowley’s a douche but he’s a valued customer,” Dean mutters and it’s clear to Castiel that Dean doesn’t like dealing with the man but business is business. “He’s a demon,” he looks up when Castiel remains quiet. He arches an eyebrow at Dean and enjoys the emotions that flitter over Dean’s face when he does that. They haven’t spoken about it but Dean clearly loves being bossed around sometimes.</p><p>“Have you made a deal with him?”</p><p>“Not the kind you’re thinking of,” Dean answers with an easy smile and Castiel relaxes a little. He’s worked with demons before, <em>intimately</em>, and knows they can be tricky. “We’re selling him stuff he needs for rituals in exchange for him not killing people around here. Also he’s keeping some other demons in check, seemingly for the fun of it, and we’re encouraging that.”</p><p>Castiel nods. In truth, he doesn’t really mind that the brothers deal with demons. Unlike both Sam and Dean, Castiel as a familiar is more neutral in his disposition towards other people or the world in general. For a familiar, their master is the world and they will work with that person no matter his or her ambition. He won’t say that, though, because he knows Dean wants him to care as much as he does and while Castiel thinks no one can care quite as much as Dean Winchester, about <em>anything</em>, he’s willing to try.</p><p>“As long as he’s not got anything on you.”</p><p>“Don’t worry, kitty,” Dean positively purrs and comes over to kiss Castiel on top of his head. “I might be too stupid to learn the Divine but I’m not stupid enough to make demon deals.”</p><p>“You’re not stupid,” Castiel mutters petulantly, annoyed every time Dean puts himself down like that. Still, Dean’s kisses make him feel better and he readily steals some more.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Castiel is in human form and by the cash register when the demon eventually comes into the shop. It’s unusual for Castiel to be there, as his job is mostly about the magic items, but both Sam and Dean are out back receiving a large delivery of new antiques. Castiel thinks it’s a bit cute that their front is old furniture and knickknacks and the more time he spends in the shop, the more he likes going around looking at everything that’s old to them but new to him.</p><p>He’s alerted to the new presence both because Jess flaps her wings loudly and because he can feel the flux in magical power. Sam and Dean have warded their shop to the teeth but they’ve disabled some so that Crowley can come inside. Some alarms still go off, though, more as an alert and Castiel hears Jess gliding off to deal with them.</p><p>He looks up just as a middle-aged man in a black pea coat steps up to the counter. He immediately recognizes the demon inside the body, but he’s taken aback by the change in outward appearance since they last met. The demon smiles at him in recognition.</p><p>“Cassie.”</p><p>Castiel tilts his head to the side and reflects on how appropriate it feels that he still has the same smooth voice, the same accent, no matter how much his looks have changed.</p><p>“Fergus,” he greets and quirks his lips in an answering smile. “What an immense surprise.”</p><p>The demon makes a face but he’s still smiling. He looks good, Castiel thinks objectively. “Don’t call me that. New meatsuit means a new name.”</p><p>“Ah,” Castiel folds his hands on the counter. “So you’re this Crowley we’ve been waiting for?”</p><p>“Correct you are, love,” he leans in a little. “So what’s a pretty little kitten like yourself doing in a dump like this?”</p><p>Castiel bristles inwardly. “I like it here.”</p><p>Crowley looks surprised for a moment, his demon form swirling to Castiel’s magical sight, and then he laughs good-naturedly. “Blunt as always. And damn you look good too! Guess being a familiar means you never age, does it?”</p><p>“It would be impractical,” he doesn’t know why Crowley laughs again, it <em>would</em> be impractical.</p><p>Crowley’s eyes twinkle a bit and Castiel gets lost in memories for a moment.</p><p>“It has to be what, 650 years?” Crowley mumbles after a moment as if he’s seen what Castiel is thinking about. Seeing no reason to deny where his mind went, Castiel dips his head in acknowledgement.</p><p>“Thereabout.”</p><p>“Your master was a twig of a girl, powerful though.”</p><p>Castiel smiles at the memory of Claire. “She was beautiful,” he chuckles as new memories flashes through his mind. “Reckless, but beautiful.”</p><p>Crowley nods and Castiel thinks it’s unexpectedly nice to talk to someone who’s met him before. He loves Dean, and Sam to a lesser extent, and Jess is like a sister but though they’re his family he can’t talk about memories like this with them. With Jess some, sure, because she’s much older than the brothers and she and Castiel can share war stories. But Crowley — or Fergus, as it was back then — has shared actual adventures with Castiel. And more.</p><p>He looks up when Crowley reaches over the counter to put a hand on Castiel’s.</p><p>“Who’s your master now, Cassie?” he asks in a tone that suggests he also remembers their hot nights together. “Another third rate Wizard? Come work for me instead.”</p><p>“I’ve told you, that’s not how it works,” Castiel answers calmly, not half as rejecting as he had meant to.</p><p>“Well,” Crowley’s low purr doesn’t have the same effect on Castiel as it used to, Castiel thinks with amusement. Not when he’s heard Dean gasping desperately for him. “We can always meet anyway and I’ll give you what your master can’t, just like last time.”</p><p>“I think you are mistaken,” Castiel smiles almost smugly. “My new master is not a young girl this time around.”</p><p>“What are you saying—?” Crowley stops himself and looks around, realization dawning on him. “Winchester,” he says with what’s clearly meant to be distaste but Castiel can see how the demon’s true form reacts with at least admiration, if not affection. “Which one? No, Moose’s already got a familiar. So Dean. Oh Cassie,” Crowley straightens with a haughty smile that makes Castiel arch an eyebrow at him. “He’s never going to open his legs for you.”</p><p>“Who’s to say he’s the only one with legs that open, <em>Fergus</em>,” Castiel grins and enjoys the utter bafflement on the demon’s human face.</p><p>“Oh my, Cassie,” he murmurs in a suggestive tone. “If that’s an option I wouldn’t mind having a go at you.”</p><p>Castiel opens his mouth to answer but doesn’t get a chance to when a hand slams down on the counter between them. A strong fist, clenched so hard the knuckles are white and Castiel would know that hand anywhere even if he hadn’t felt Dean’s anger and disgust through the Link.</p><p>“And <em>I</em> wouldn’t mind <em>you</em> stepping back,” he says in a deadly voice. </p><p>It sends a thrill down Castiel’s spine both because it’s arousing to see Dean acting possessive over him and because he’s felt bad about how he acted at Conroy’s Pub a few weeks back. But now Dean is acting similarly and it’s making him delighted. He pushes that through their Link and sees Dean glance back at him but only for a second, his eyes otherwise trained on the demon.</p><p>Crowley smiles a placating smile and takes a small step back, far enough that he has to let go of Castiel and that he’s not touching the counter anymore.</p><p>“Is this far enough? Or are you going to go all big bad hunter on me and exorcise me too?”</p><p>Dean is seething but Castiel remembers that Crowley is also a valued customer so he smiles kindly to lessen Dean’s glare.</p><p>“It’s fine, isn’t it, master?” Dean more growls than answers and okay, that’s hot but Castiel shouldn’t be getting aroused right now. “Anyway, what was it you came here for, Fer—Crowley?”</p><p>“Snake tongues,” Crowley answers with an amused look at Dean’s posturing. “With basil, if you have.”</p><p>“Certainly,” Castiel says with a dip of his head and he touches Dean’s arm lightly as he turns to walk to the back where they keep spell ingredients. </p><p>Dean follows him, highly reluctantly, but Castiel feels that it’s okay to leave Crowley alone in the shop. First of all, he trusts Crowley to some degree and second of all, they have Jess to cover the untrusted degrees.</p><p>“What the fuck was that?” Dean hisses as soon as they’re relatively alone. </p><p>Castiel is tempted to tell Dean that Crowley has better hearing than a human and might still be able to hear them to some extent but Dean seems in need to talk about this so he just continues measuring up the snake tongues.</p><p>“A few hundred years back Crowley and I were lovers.”</p><p>“What?!”</p><p>Castiel winces at Dean’s high-pitched squeak. He turns to his master and kisses him deeply, one hand on Dean’s neck like he knows Dean likes. Owning and slow.</p><p>“Or,” he says when they pull out and Dean looks adorably fuzzy. “As you would say in modern terms; we were fuck-buddies.”</p><p>Dean sobers up some but still looks a little hazy and Castiel likes that look. “You mean you used to… to let that <em>demon</em> bone you?”</p><p>“Actually, he had a different human body back then and went by the name Fergus but yes, I recognize his demon face. And I was the one ‘boning’ him, for the record,” he ties off the bag with the snake tongues and turns to a stunned Dean. “Shall we?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Crowley had left soon after his purchase but of course he had tossed in a last open invitation for Castiel. Dean had bristled and continued to do so the entire day even though Castiel assured him that he wouldn’t ever take Crowley up on his offer and that Crowley knew that too. Meanwhile, Sam thinks the whole thing is hilarious and teases Dean until he’s blue in the face from restrained anger.</p><p>“It’s <em>not</em> funny,” Dean states for the hundredth time when they’re closing shop for the evening.</p><p>“It’s kinda funny,” Sam snickers. “And I didn’t know you were the jealous type.”</p><p>“Says the guy who’s insisting Jess stays an owl,” Dean snaps then and it’s clear by his expression that he’s been waiting to use that argument.</p><p>“What?” Jess asks, suspicious when Sam looks like he’s swallowed a barrel of lemons.</p><p>“Nothing.”</p><p>“Not nothing,” Dean snorts. “You could just as well do what you do as a human but if you’re an owl people won’t be hitting on you and Sam knows this. You’re too pretty, Jess.”</p><p>Jess levels Sam with a stare that makes him gulp. “Oh I am, am I?”</p><p>“Yeah, but Jess—” Sam is cut off when Jess grabs his hair and pulls him in close, whispering harshly against his ear.</p><p>“We’re going to have a talk, you and me.”</p><p>Dean snickers to himself when she drags Sam up to their apartment, leaving Dean and Cas to deal with closing the shop.</p><p>“Was that necessary?” Castiel asks, highly amused.</p><p>“Sam started it,” Dean sniffs petulantly. “He didn’t have to point out all the things you and Crowley could’ve been up to, I can imagine them perfectly well on my own.”</p><p>“Is that so?” Castiel learns in to murmur in Dean’s ear, breath hot on Dean’s neck. “I’m not sure I’m thrilled about you thinking about Crowley and sex. What do you say we go home and make you forget all about that demon, huh?”</p><p>Dean swallows, looking at Castiel as if he would rather have him here and now. “Yeah,” their Link vibrates with Dean’s desires and Castiel basks in it for a moment. “Hell yeah.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Dean’s so fucking hard by the time they get home it’s not even funny. Cas has been teasing him and riling him up ever since the shop and Dean thought he was going to crash the car at least twice on the drive home. Cas is too fucking distracting.</p><p>As soon as they get inside, Cas slams him up against the wall beside the door and Dean moans desperately when Cas kisses him as if he’s trying to devour Dean in one bite. He loves it when Cas gets like this, wild and uncontrolled. It irks him to no end that Crowley’s slept with Cas but he trusts Cas and actually it’s kind of making this even hotter. Because now Dean knows there’s someone out there that Cas has wanted, at least physically, but that he doesn’t anymore because he’s got Dean now.</p><p>And fuck, Cas is so hard against Dean’s hip. Hot and big where he’s grinding and Dean feels arousal lick up his spine like a living thing. He squirms against Cas’ body, spreading his legs so that Cas can tuck one of his thick thighs in between and they can line up to buck against one another.</p><p>“You feel so good, Dean,” Cas rasps against Dean’s throat, nipping against the fluttering pulse. “So good only for me.”</p><p>Dean feels like he’s gonna shoot off any second. “Fuck yeah, Cas,” he moans, hands grabbing at Cas’ clothes to get him closer, as close as possibly while at the same time grinding his dick against Cas like a horny teenager. “Shit it’s so good, <em>you’re </em>so—ah, yes there,” he arches his back when Cas pinches one of his nipples through his shirt. Pleasure sings through him and his dick is weeping precome by now. “Fuck, Cas, I want you. Want you to fuck me. Fuck me Cas, c’mon.”</p><p>“Yeah?” Cas asks in his gravelly voice. Dean feels alternatingly chilly and heated. “You want me to stick it in you, master? Hot and hard for you, split you open on my fat cock?”</p><p>Dean’s breath hiccups because yeah, he wants <em>that</em>, wants it so much. But he can’t ask for it because it’s not normal, is it? But Cas likes it and apparently fucking <em>demons</em> like it so maybe he can too?</p><p>“Y-yeah,” he moans in a timid voice and Cas pulls out to look at Dean even though Dean does his best to duck his head so their eyes won’t meet. He can feel his face heating from more than arousal but his dick is still a hard line in his jeans.</p><p>Cas brushes his fingers through Dean’s hair. “I’ll take care of you, Dean,” he murmurs intimately and Dean shudders against him. “Anything you want.”</p><p>Dean gulps. “I want you to fuck me,” he whispers hoarsely and is rewarded with Cas kissing him deeply.</p><p>“Let’s go to the bedroom.”</p><p>Dean fucking <em>mewls</em> when Cas steps away from him but Cas compensates the lack of physical contact by opening their Link and letting Dean feel all the love he has for Dean. It’s comforting and all encompassing and makes Dean stumble blindly behind his familiar, led by Cas’ steady grip on his hand.</p><p>Cas whips off his clothes in the bedroom, tossing them carelessly on the floor before going to the nightstand and collecting the bottle of lube they keep there. Dean’s nervous as fuck all of a sudden but feels comforted by the way Cas acts and takes a cue from him to remove his clothes. By the time he’s naked Cas is already on his back on the bed, stroking his dick lazily. Dean’s liked Cas’ dick since they first started doing this but suddenly it feels enormous and Dean’s conscious of the fact that his own erection has flagged a little.</p><p>“Just come to bed,” Cas says with a smile. Their Link is silent now but that’s okay because Dean’s got Cas’ undivided attention anyway. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want.”</p><p>Dean feels like a wimp and decides to man up and climbs on the bed with a small grin. He notices Cas following the sway of his hips with his eyes and decides he likes the attention. They settle side by side, kissing and touching like usual except Cas keeps skating Dean’s hole and it’s feeling increasingly good and frustrating.</p><p>“I definitely wanna do <em>something</em>,” he mumbles after a while and Cas chuckles into the next kiss.</p><p>“We can start slow. Maybe just my fingers, or your own,” Cas suggests in an intimate voice and while Dean feels grateful for the suggestion he’s very aware of Cas’ hard dick that’s pressed right up against Dean’s and he wants to feel it even more. “Or maybe something bigger? How about that vibrator you’ve got hidden under the bed with those yaoi books?”</p><p>Dean’s eyes go wide in shock. “You…”</p><p>“I found them the other week,” Cas says with an easy smile. “Are you mad?”</p><p>Actually Dean’s relieved because while he’s told Cas about the books, the vibrator’s been a secret since even before they got together and he’s been wanting to tell Cas about it but hasn’t found the time, or the words.</p><p>“I’m more impressed that you know what a vibrator is,” he says with a grin and enjoys the way Cas’ eyes sparkle with mirth.</p><p>“That’s thanks to you teaching me all about Google.”</p><p>“What were you even doing under the bed?”</p><p>Cas chuckles and comes in closer to kiss Dean’s neck, down to his shoulder. “I was chasing a spider.”</p><p>“My good little hunter,” Dean laughs and allows Cas to push him to his back. He groans when Cas kisses his way down Dean’s chest to one of his nipples.</p><p>He’s so goddamn talented with his mouth that Dean forgets what they were talking about for a while. He arches his whole body up into Cas’ touches, whining when Cas wraps his hand loosely around Dean’s hard dick so that Dean can fuck into the meaty tunnel.</p><p>“Tell me what you want, master,” Cas murmurs as he slides down Dean’s body, kissing him as he goes. Dean’s head feels mushy.</p><p>“Want you,” he says in a garbled voice. “Not the vibrator, just you.”</p><p>Cas practically purrs and it makes Dean smile. “Maybe next time.”</p><p>“Hell yeah, you can try it too if you wanna.”</p><p>“I do,” Cas sits up between Dean’s spread legs and holy shit, he looks good there. He rests his hands on Dean’s knees, looking dark and dangerous and absolutely delicious. Dean peeks almost shyly up at him, feeling his dick throb with need. “But tonight I want to pleasure you, Dean. I’ll start with my fingers and we’ll see how much further you want to go.”</p><p>Dean nods because that sounds fair. He’s after all not had anything go up there, ever. “Do you want me to turn over?” they usually prep Cas from behind and Dean supposes it makes for easier access or something. He doesn’t really know about that but he does know that he always enjoys the view.</p><p>But Cas shakes his head before finding the lube that got lost in the sheets while they made out. “I want to see your face. And also,” he shuffles down so that his face is levelled with Dean’s erection. “This way I can suck you off at the same time.”</p><p>Dean just <em>has to</em> hump the air a bit and it makes Cas smirk, the bastard. “You’re gonna make me come if you do that.”</p><p>“We’ll see,” Cas murmurs and pops the lid of the lube.</p><p>It’s cold and sticky against Dean’s ass and for a moment he can’t think about anything else but that fact, but then there’s Cas’ slender fingers rubbing Dean’s crack and Dean kind of wants to hide, it’s so fucking embarrassing.</p><p>“C-Cas…” he stutters and Cas hums but doesn’t stop what he’s doing.</p><p>Instead he noses up Dean’s dick to take it in his mouth and Dean’s mind short-circuits for a moment when it gets overloaded by sensory inputs. Cas’ fingers rubbing lube all over his hole is a weird feeling but his whole pelvis is on fire from the feeling of Cas’ mouth around his dick. He thrusts up and Cas lets him and fuck yeah, Dean’s so fucking aroused by Cas allowing him this. The movement makes him buck down on Cas’ fingers too and he’s starting to like the pressure against his rim.</p><p>When Cas puts a hand on Dean’s hip to keep Dean still, it makes him whine and spread his legs wider for some reason. He pulls up one leg and Cas looks up at him with such obvious arousal that Dean feels himself leaking precome right into Cas’ eager mouth.</p><p>The new angle means that Cas’ finger slides more easily into Dean’s body and holy fuck, maybe <em>easily</em> is an overstatement but it’s definitely smoother than Dean had thought it would be. Cas pulls off Dean’s dick to lick his balls, jacking him slowly.</p><p>“It’s so hot inside you, Dean,” he says in a voice so dark with desire that Dean’s whole body trembles with want. “I can’t wait until you’ll let me be inside.”</p><p>Dean’s mind’s still fucked up from earlier and all he knows is that he wants Cas.</p><p>“Do it, do it, do it,” he chants in a panting tone, rolling his body between Cas’ hands. “Fuckin’ want you to.”</p><p>“So perfect for me, master,” Cas groans and sits up straighter to add some more lube. It’s cold again but Dean barely registers it because Cas is pushing inside with two fingers now and he’s reaching so much deeper.</p><p>“Fuck, what’s that?” Dean moans pathetically when a jolt of pleasure goes through him, sharp enough to steal his breath. “Feels like you’re touching my dick from the inside.”</p><p>Cas chuckles and starts jerking Dean off earnestly while poking that thing inside him that makes Dean see stars.</p><p>“You enjoy teasing my prostate but can’t even recognize your own?” Cas shuffles up to grab Dean’s chin. “I’ll show you pleasures you’ve never even dreamed of,” he growls and Dean’s body locks up as he comes a little, maybe?</p><p>He doesn’t really know because nothing comes out but his whole body feels like it fires off and he shouts against Cas’ mouth when the man bends down to kiss him. He squirms against Cas’ body, his legs spasming and his dick throbbing even as his ass clenches around Cas’ fingers.</p><p>“<em>Cas</em>,” he whines, feeling so good it’s almost scary. “Cas, what the fuck?”</p><p>“You came dry for me, master?” Cas asks in a hush, a pleased smile playing on his beautiful lips. “Precious.”</p><p>Dean doesn’t know what’s up or down anymore. “Cas,” he whines again, feeling a shocking need to be filled with Cas, to be as close as he can get.</p><p>“I know, master,” Cas coos and pulls out his fingers only to coat his dick with lube instead. “I want you too.”</p><p>Dean grabs Cas’ shoulders, determined to do this face to face because he <em>needs</em> to kiss Cas and it’s not like the other man seems to mind. He allows himself to be pulled into a crushing embrace and even so he manages to sneak a hand down between them to help align himself with Dean’s quivering hole.</p><p>“Are you okay?” he asks softly when Dean tenses up slightly at the feeling of the blunt head against his ass.</p><p>“Yeah,” Dean mumbles and meets Cas’ eyes shyly. “Just… it won’t change anything between us, right?” </p><p>Dean’s still a <em>man</em> and he’ll still be allowed to fuck Cas too, right? This is just adding to their relationship.</p><p>Cas’ eyes soften and he gathers Dean close to kiss him sweetly for a moment. “I don’t think I can love you more than I already do but if there’s one thing that changes then that might be it,” he suddenly gives Dean a shit-eating grin. “That and you’re going to want me to fuck you more often.”</p><p>Dean blinks up at Cas and then starts laughing. “You’re cocky,” he says with a grin and Cas chuckles as he aligns himself again.</p><p>“I learned from the best,” he mumbles. “I don’t know if you’ve met him, but he’s called Dean Winchester and he’s a handsome son of a bitch.”</p><p>“Sounds like a dream,” Dean presses out as Cas slowly enters him. He feels huge and at first it feels impossible, like Cas can’t push hard enough and if he goes harder he might end up breaking his dick against Dean’s unrelenting body. But then Dean’s body gives and Cas pops inside with a content sigh.</p><p>“You have no idea,” Cas groans as he slides inside, inch by inch. “It never gets old with him.”</p><p>Dean’s eyes fill with fucking tears of all things and he turns his head to kiss Cas lovingly. It turns real dirty real fast as Cas comes to a stop as far inside Dean as he can physically go. Fuck yeah, it’s awesome, and scary, and perfect, and Dean’s so hard he’s sure his tears now are more about the need to come than any emotions Cas’ words might have provoked.</p><p>“Move Cas,” Dean grunts after a while when it seems like Cas is satisfied with just being inside him. “Fucking hell, you gotta move or Imma explode,” and he doesn’t even know if he means explode as in ejaculate or if he just feels like he’s blowing up because <em>Cas is inside him</em>. All the way to the base of his dick and Dean can feel Cas’ round balls against his ass and shit, he’s the girl now and he’s loving it. “Fuck me.”</p><p>And yeah, Cas does exactly that. His thrusts are long and hard, he rolls his hips into them and easily coaxes Dean’s body to follow with the motion, making it fluid. And fuck, he’s finding Dean’s prostate so easily and Dean can’t get a word out with how good he’s feeling. His dick is getting friction between their stomachs and with his prostate being stimulated it again feels like he’s being touched from the inside.</p><p>He keeps moaning like a bitch in heat and Cas has his mouth against Dean’s ear, showering him with praise Dean hardly thinks he deserves but that he basks in and that adds to his pleasure.</p><p>“Yes Dean, come on,” Cas growls when it feels like Dean’s close and how the fucking hell he even knows that is beyond Dean but it’s not like he cares about that. “Need you to come for me. Gonna come so soon, but I need you to go first.”</p><p>How Cas can always form complete sentences in the middle of sex will always be a mystery to Dean. Dean’s barely able to get out a garbled “come inside” before his own orgasm hits him and he's arching up into Cas’ solid chest, whining as his dick spurts out several stripes of come, untouched save from where he’s pressed against Cas’ taut stomach.</p><p>Cas buries his face in the crook of Dean’s neck and he’s coming seconds later, even before Dean’s done, and Dean loves how he can feel Cas’ dick jumping inside him as he empties everything he’s got into Dean’s greedy body. Dean’s suddenly very conscious of how his ass clenches as he comes and he smiles against Cas’ hair when Cas lets out a puff of air as if he’s been holding his breath.</p><p>“That was so fucking good,” Dean exclaims after a while, fucking overcome with how good everything feels even though it should probably feel tacky as his come dries between them and Cas’ come leaks out of his ass.</p><p>Cas chuckles and pulls out gingerly, all but collapsing to the side. “I was so close to coming the moment I put it in,” he grins at Dean’s incredulous stare.</p><p>“No fucking way, you were so calm.”</p><p>“Well, I didn’t want you to be uncomfortable,” he says sweetly and reaches out to stroke Dean’s cheek. Dean closes his eyes and nestles closer against Cas’ chest, tucking himself under the man’s chin.</p><p>“You're so good at sex,” he mumbles, one hand drawing patterns on Cas’ chest. “Probably because you’ve been around,” he freezes at his own words because that came out wrong but Cas only chuckles.</p><p>“Are you calling me a slut?” he’s grinning when Dean peeks up at him.</p><p>“No.” </p><p>Dean would <em>never</em>.</p><p>“It’s okay, I <em>have</em> had a lot of sex, with a lot of different people and…” he makes a face. “Other things.”</p><p>“Sorry I’m not…” Dean doesn’t even know what he’s saying anymore. He’s just floating in a post-orgasmic haze that’s loosened his tongue, for better or for worse, it’s hard to tell.</p><p>Cas smiles down at him and opens up the Empathic Link, letting Dean feel how much Cas loves him.</p><p>“You’re mine, Dean,” he says with conviction, brushing the backs of his fingers down Dean’s cheek. “And I’m yours. You can be jealous of my past lovers if you want to but I want you to know that they mean nothing to me. I love you and I…” he chuckles a little and Dean’s chest feels warm with all the affection Cas is showering him in. “I actually think I’ve never really been in love before. I didn’t realize it before I met you, but I think that’s true.”</p><p>“Cas…”</p><p>“Dean,” Cas takes Dean’s hand in his, looking incredibly serious and Dean gets lost in Cas’ blue eyes. “I admit, when I first came into existence, I thought I fell in love with my master and for a while I thought that was how it always worked. But then I got a new master and I became more of an ally, a confidant, but definitely not a lover. We loved each other but not like this, there was no attraction between us. In cases like that I found physical pleasure in other places, but they meant nothing to me.”</p><p>“Like Crowley?” Dean asks because he has to ask. </p><p>He’s definitely had fuck buddies before, on top of one-night-stands, but it hadn’t occurred to him that Cas might also have had that, and he definitely didn’t think that they’d be meeting one of them.</p><p>“Like Crowley,” Cas confirms. “He didn’t mean anything, unlike you.”</p><p>Dean makes a small noise when Cas leans in to kiss him all sweet like. “But…” he licks his lips when Cas pulls back. “But if you thought you were in love with your first master then maybe you were?” and that would be fine with Dean because that person is definitely <em>dead</em> and lots of people have had relationships before. Hell, Lisa even had a son with her previous boyfriend and Dean didn’t mind that one bit. “How do you know this is different?”</p><p>Cas grins, flipping them so that he’s looming over Dean and yeah, Dean’s spent dick totally twitches with interest.</p><p>“Because not once during all those years did I lose control over the Empathic Link during sex with that person.”</p><p>Dean thinks back to their first time in Des Moines and how Cas had told him he couldn’t hold it in. How it had felt to be practically assaulted with Cas’ feelings, how <em>much</em> love there had been.</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>Cas chuckles and drapes his body over Dean’s, kissing his way over from Dean’s ear to his mouth. “I’m glad you summoned me, master. I can’t wait to spend my life with you.”</p><p>Dean doesn’t have to blink away fresh tears, nope.</p><p>“Fuck me again, this time with the Link completely open.”</p><p>Cas arches an eyebrow questioningly but Dean’s feeling Cas’ dick already filling out slowly. “Are you sure? It’ll be a lot for you to take in. Remember Des Moines.”</p><p>“I remember,” Dean mumbles lovingly, wrapping his arms around Cas’ body to pull him closer even as he pushes everything he’s feeling towards Cas over the Link. “I want it.”</p><p>Cas gasps softly, definitely feeling it. “You better not regret it, master.”</p><p>Dean doesn’t.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Dean is absolutely lovely as he snoozes in Castiel’s arms, completely spent after having given Castiel all of himself in such a short time. Castiel thinks he’s never been happier and even though he was happy with the sex they had been having before it was such a treat to be allowed entrance to Dean’s body that he’s feeling exuberant. He knows, though, that this is sensitive territory for his master and when he’s awakened from his meditative slumber by their Link vibrating from Dean’s insecurities, he’s more than prepared.</p><p>“I ain’t calling you daddy.”</p><p>Okay, so maybe Castiel wasn’t <em>completely</em> prepared for that. He rolls to his back, rubbing one hand across his eyes to dispel any remaining sleepiness. Dean is staring defiantly up at him, though he’s still mostly wrapped in Castiel’s arm.</p><p>“The first time we met you called me mama and now you’re bringing daddy into the conversation, what is it with humans and parental figures in a sexual content?”</p><p>Dean looks a cross between embarrassed and nervous, almost like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.</p><p>“Um…”</p><p>Castiel supposes it has something to do with sexual kinks and though he feels curious about it he decides that Dean’s already given him enough for today. He hugs the man close and kisses him on his cheek.</p><p>“It’s okay, Dean,” he murmurs affectionately and feels satisfied that Dean seems to understand what he’s talking about because the man relaxes and kisses Castiel back. “Nothing has changed between us.”</p><p>“I liked it, though. Having, um, having you inside me.”</p><p>Castiel <em>loves</em> Dean’s blush. “I liked it too,” he says with affection. “But I like it how we’ve done it before too.”</p><p>Dean looks thoughtful for a moment. Castiel counts the freckles that are spread over Dean’s nose.</p><p>“So we can switch it up?”</p><p>Actually Castiel prefers it that way, to just go with the flow, with what they want at the moment. “Yes.”</p><p>“Awesome.”</p><p>Dean looks immensely satisfied with that and though Castiel knows his master isn’t much for what he calls “sappy” moments he can’t help but push love over their Link as he kisses Dean’s freckles.</p><p>“Because I love you, I like it in any way we decide to embrace each other. I like you the most, after all.”</p><p>Dean looks like he’s about to spontaneously combust for a moment but then he sits up and playfully punches Castiel’s shoulder.</p><p>“No chick-flick moments, dude,” he mutters and stands up to stretch out his glorious body. “Now come on, you up for some shower sex?”</p><p>Oh Castiel is more than up for that experience.</p><p>“Last one to the bathroom blows the other,” he says excitedly and jumps off the bed, transforming into his animal form to easily dart ahead of Dean and laughing loudly at Dean’s protests about cheating.</p><p>Yes, Castiel’s now certain he’s never been this happy before and as Dean lovingly and sloppily sucks Castiel’s dick while the shower rains down on them he’s inclined to think Dean feels the same. And judging by the way their Empathic Link sings with joy he knows he’s right.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And that's it for Dean and his kitty familiar 😄<br/>I hope you all enjoyed this crazy ride because I certainly did!<br/>If you wish to, please leave a comment to let me know what you though, and if you wanna buy me coffee (no reason needed lol), then please follow the link in <a href="https://twitter.com/SPNzation/status/1116229601540419586">this Twitter thread</a> 💖</p><p>Thank you so much for reading, join me next week when I post something else crazy, if you dare 🤣🤣🤣</p>
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